Posted in May 2012

I Feel Dirty

Can we open up a no judgement zone? I would just feel really comfortable if we could all talk as friends.

Independence Day is coming back to theaters next year in 3D.

And I can’t fucking wait.
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Leprechaun Origins and Other WWE Bullshit

I forgot I even knew this was a real bit of actual news, but WWE Films is getting back into PG-13 and R rated film game.  They have spent the last 3, maybe 4 years making dramas and comedies exclusively for families.  Why? Because if you still watch wrestling (ok, that might just be me) you know that for the last few years WWE has been all about a PG rated franchise.  They love the youth movement.  However, the fans have grown restless with a watered down product and now the WWE is starting to show more teeth in it’s wrestling, but also in its films again.  Well one of the next WWE Films to show their return to darker films is LEPRECHAUN: ORIGINS.  Yup. That’s happening.

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The Bourne Legacy Trailer and the Case of the Good Sequel-Boot

I am excited for this movie.  By placing it directly within the timeline of the Jason Bourne films they aren’t absolutely shitting on our intelligence.  Jeremy Renner looks very capable to take over for Matt Damon.  Universal reallllllly needs this to do well.  Battleship tanked, and Snow White is a big gamble.

Check out the newest trailer here!

http://youtu.be/2eUaZjppPm8

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Tarsem, Buddy… We Need To Talk

Hey Tarsem. You see I’m only referring to you as Tarsem. I don’t care about the rest of the name you now use. You’ll always be just Tarsem to me. Like Madonna, Prince, or K-fed.
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Piranha 3DD And Why I Don’t Understand Hollywood

Yesterday Peter posted his dismay about Piranha 3DD being released in basically no theaters this Friday (It’s actually playing in 75 theaters, and ONE in NYC) and it got me curious as to what the hell is going on.  Well it turns out that The Weinstein Company and Dimension Films are trying out a new release strategy.  They are releasing Pirahna not only in theaters Friday, but also on VOD services as a rental.  So essentially if your cable provider allows new releases On Demand, you will be able to rent it right from your cable, or from services like Playstation Video Store, VUDU, or Amazon Instant Video.  It also has the distinction of being the first-ever Facebook 3D film release.  If you still want to watch this in 3D they will have  a version available that works with the old school red and blue glasses.  If you don’t have them, they will also have directions on how to ghetto-rig some.

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Stop Telling Me About Iron Man 3

Listen. I saw ‘Avengers.’ I loved it. I am angry I haven’t seen it again. If you think about it the plot was a bit crap. Loki allies with aliens to control Earth, getting him what exactly? Dr. Selvig is brainwashed but programs in a failsafe option to the device.

Fart Noises.

So Marvel, please stop dancing around with the news about ‘Iron Man 3.’

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New Comic Wednesday


It’s no secret that studios are looking for their own ‘Hunger Games.’ A film about a dystopian future with dangerous activities for teens is in demand. Especially if these activities are of the reality show vain.

This is where ‘America’s Got Powers’ comes in perfectly. Also it’s got superheroes. DONE.
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Finnicky Casting

No claps for the title please. I actually deserve to be slapped for it.

‘Catching Fire’ casting is underway, well ‘Hunger Games: Catching Fire’ is the official title. First off the title is unnecessary. I can’t believe I’m about to give Twilight a compliment, but I like how they give to movie the name of the book and just tack on ‘The Twilight Saga’ on all promotional material.

News right now is the three Actors still up for the role of Finnick are Armie Hammer, Taylor Kitsch, and Garrett Hedlund.

I choose Hedlund. Why? Because I had to look him up.
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GI Joe: Retaliation and Why I’m A Fanning Tatum

So since the worst news ever dropped last week that G.I. Joe 2 was being shifted out of it’s prime summer tentpole spot of June 29th, 2012, to the murky waters of March to be retooled for 3D, the only thing I’ve been able to think was, BULLSHIT.  There was absolutely no way it was going to take 9 months to reshoot a film for 3D.  Two years ago when Clash of the Titans (garbage movie) came out, it only took them 6 weeks to convert it for 3D.  There was absolutely no way that Paramount would move a film almost a full year just to add in 3D.  Hell, if they did 8 weeks of reshoots starting last week, they would still be able to get it out this summer and capitalize on August money, which is a notoriously slower box office month.  The only competition I can even think of is The Bourne Legacy and that is an unproven sequel-boot, much like this G.I. Joe film.

Well Deadline.com pretty much broke the news today that everyone suspected.  The G.I. Joe 2 test screenings were doing well with the exception of one major issue: they KILL Duke (Channing Tatum) in the first 15 mins.  This was kind of obvious from looking at the trailers.  They spend no time whatsoever even showing Duke, and they pretty much only highlight The Rock.  I don’t have an issue with that really, but the Box Office certainly would.  Between The Vow and the hilarious 21 Jump Street, Tatum has proven he is a legitimate draw at the box office, so killing him 15 mins in, will subvert any of the good will the movie was already starting to build up.  The fact that he’s not even in the movie enough to use in the ad campaign is telling.  He wasn’t even on the most recent posters, which have pretty much every character on them. So Paramount, caved and have decided not only to convert the movie, but keep Channing Tatum’s character alive long enough so that he can establish a relationship with The Rock.  I hope this all works out cause I think they finally nailed the proper tone for one of these films and I would hate for massive reshoots to turn what looks like a fun movie into a shitburger.

We’ll have to wait and see.

 

p.s. I like Channing Tatum and I have no arguable reason to back up that statement other than I like Step Up, Step Up 2 The Streets, and 21 Jump Street. One of those three films is good.

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Fish and Tits

That headline is no Why-lander, so please, no applause. Let me be honest with you-

‘Piranha 3D’ was one of my favorite movies of 2010 and I could not be more excited for the sequel.

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