Posted in August 2013

Movie Movie Podcast #47: We’re the Kick Ass Butlers

I was more or less at a loss for titles. We have a bunch of movies this week and this was the best I could come up with. Well maybe if I had given it more time it would have been better, but that’s neither here nor there. Actually I guess it is here. Anyway it’s been a couple of crazy weeks and we’re finally back to bitch about anything and everything we’ve seen to you all. Join Alex, Russ, Peter and myself as we discuss Lee Daniel’s The Butler, We’re the Millers, Kick Ass 2, Elysium and Lovelace. Recorded on August 28th 2013.

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Fake Movie Friday: The Wonderful, Exciting World of Arthur Tribb and the Many Beautiful Women Who Hate Him

Jonathan Tiglias (not his real name) is God’s single greatest creation. The man is a Fake Movie Title genius. He’s good at a few other things but this is the real reason why he was put on this Earth. I’m going to try my best to do this title justice.

The Wonderful, Exciting World of Arthur Tribb and the Many Beautiful Women Who Hate Him

Doctor’s rush a screaming pregnant woman through a hospital. The delivery room doors shut. Silent beat before we hear a baby crying. Before the doors swing back open, a nurse running off with the baby as the mother screams “get that stupid fucking thing away from me.

-Title Card-
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Fake Movie Friday: Open Their Hearts

Hello Friends! I decided it is finally time to bring the Their Hearts Trilogy to a close. Based on a young adult book series that doesn’t actually exist, this highly successful franchise comes to it’s heartbreaking conclusion! ICYMI Part 1: Bless Their Hearts and Part 2: Break Their Hearts.

Open Their Hearts

We open on the beach from the 2nd film. Brad sits relaxing. He looks around confused. Scott and Becka walk hand in hand toward him. He tries to talk to them but they do not acknowledge him. A faint beeping starts up and is getting faster and louder. Camera comes close to Brad’s face and as it backs up he is actually tied to a stretcher with doctor’s over him. He looks down and his chest is open and they are poking at his heart

TITLE CARD
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Fake Movie Friday: Fool Me Once

So it’s a tradition that I ask the audience at Pig Pile for a suggestion for my next day’s Fake Movie Friday. It’s a great way to involve our friends in the site and maybe grab some new readers. Alas here’s possibly the 4th title Zach has shouted out.

Fool Me Once

Movie opens with Paulson, a ceo, driving his fancy car into the expansive driveway of his mansion. On the phone he is rudely firing someone but as he opens the door he finds that he has been robbed. His house is empty and there is only a note on the floor that reads “Shame on you.”
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Movie Movie Podcast #46: THE CANYONS (+ other stuff)

It’s actually kind of crazy how long Alex and I go on and on about the Canyons. We all thought going into this that it’d just be a quick chat, but wow. Join Russ, Peter, Alex and myself as we talk about 2 Guns, The Canyons, Blue Jasmine and The Wolverine! Recorded on August 7th 2013.

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Fake Movie Friday: Desert Wind

Hitting a large bucket at the driving range counts as exercise right? I need to be validated in how tired I now am. Title by Tigs. He is now my go to for titles.

Desert Wind

A car turns down a small desert road in the night. A couple emerges from it and they have clearly been drinking a little. They make out and fall to the ground as the wind starts to pick up. The guy stands up and starts unbuckling his belt as the lady squirms a bit on the ground commenting on the wind. She thinks she hears something strange and he tells her she is being paranoid. The wind picks up even more and we hear a quick high pitched wine as blood splatters all over her bare chest. She looks up to find him headless. She turns to run and we hear the sound again. She stops and looks down as her body splits in two at the waist.
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Fake Movie Friday- Flight of the Bluebirds

I thought I would have some time at work to write this. Thus the great and powerful Tigs gave me this title earlier this afternoon. You’d think it would have been a good idea for me to think of a plot at some point the last 6 hours. Here we go!

The Flight of the Bluebirds

The camera follows a mosquito as it buzzes around a house down into a flowerbed. It flies around a bit before a bluebird swoops down devouring it. Our main character Joan sits in the garden reading, watching the bluebird. The sun is going down and she sighs, turning back into the house alone. In voice over she explains the bluebirds place in the garden. How it is an efficient bug killer and a good friend to any gardener. The partnership of the two is important; the bluebird will stay if the gardener provides safety and plants.
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