Posted in February 2017

Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: The Slow Creeping Hand of Death

Title this week from Pete. I wanted to make this 200 words… it ended up being over 800…

The Slow Creeping Hand of Death

We start out in a jail. One of the inmates is in a fight with like 20 others. He’s beats them all, getting badly bruised and cut, then is thrown in solitary. A guard says something about “making the most of his last days.”

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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Pop the Pig

Hey gang! I gchatted Tigs some titles and he said “Sorry.” I thought he was going to say he wouldn’t be writing one and that is when he said “Chutes and Ladders, Monopoly, Candyland, Life, Twister, Guess Who…” Those last three are already movies. All very similar- Life was about race in southern prison system, Guess who about race relations within growing families, and Twister was about a race with nature. He then gave me this suggestion; a game I’ve come to learn is about feeding a pig until it explodes. This film will not be about that. It will instead also be about race.

Pop the Pig

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Movie Movie Podcast #69: 2016 Oscars and Top Ten of the Year

It’s that time of the year again and that means it’s time for a new podcast! Join Alex, Russ, Peter and myself as we talk about the 2016 Oscars and give our top ten films of the year on this episode of the Movie Movie Podcast. Recorded on February 20th, 2017.

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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Just One More Day

I haven’t had a chance to read Pete’s entry yet, but he said it was a sad one. So is mine.

Just One More Day.

It’s 1996 and George and his girlfriend Lily are on a road trip to the Grand Canyon. They are both in College but have been together since junior high. George had a ring in his pocket and is planning to propose when they get there. They make small talk and share loving glances. George gives a joyful smile as a tractor trailer truck comes out of nowhere and sideswipes them.

George wakes up in present day. He looks rough for his age. He is a high school gym teacher at the same high school he went to as a kid. He doesn’t interact with the other teachers and eats his lunch at his desk every day. He has a spark of emotion when he is coaching the wrestling team. He is acting aloof but it is clear that he is enjoying himself. One of the students named Tim gives him a hard time. Tim isn’t really making an effort during the drills, and when George takes him aside he gives him attitude, and under his breath calls him a loser. It really strikes a nerve.
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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Endless Sunshine

Title comes from last nights Pig Pile. I’m starting this at 8:15 am. Let’s hope it makes sense!

Endless Sunshine

We open on an oil drill. Things start rumbling and men are running around frantic as oil is struck. The camera pulls back to a group of protesters and we settle on one attractive looking 20-something, Rebekah, who is really sad. She heads home on a bicycle to a shared apartment. Her friends there convince her to come out with them. She agrees and they start to party. She meets this attractive dude, Curtis, who is out celebrating with friends and they hit it off. She talks about how much she loves the sun and that she wishes she wishes she could live in perpetual sunshine.

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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Flapper

Haven’t missed a day yet! I finished this one up watching The Big Sleep.

Flapper

It is 1927 and Cyrus, a stockbroker is sitting at his desk at work. His desk is immaculate. He is called into his bosses office. Cyrus is overly eager talking with his boss, really buttering him up and humblebragging. His boss cuts him off and says he should calm down, he got the promotion.

Cyrus is overjoyed. At exactly 5pm he gets up to go home but his coworkers stop him. They are bros and say they are taking him out to celebrate, and one whispers that they will get him drunk. Cyrus protests as it is against the law but is finally convinced.

The coworkers take him to a speakeasy. He feels out of place but warms up after a few drinks. A gorgeous woman catches his eye. She is dressed in typical flapper attire but the lighting makes it seem like she is the only one there. He continues to look over at her for a while until she notices him, stares him down then laughs and gives him a military salute. Cyrus looks away sheepishly.
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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Barrel of Monkeys

I saw John Wick Chapter 2 last night and frankly nothing in the world could possibly compare to the joy and excitement I felt/ continue to feel. But it’s Fake Movie Friday and that means I have work to do. This is a bit of a mad caper, lots of characters and shitty comedy bits that I won’t be flushing out. Title comes from a bunch of great ones Tigs gave me last week. The Sharon Stone to my Albert Brooks.

Barrel of Monkeys

We open on complete darkness. A mechanical hatch opens above us and we see the outline of some cargo, specifically a barrel where our focus stays. A crane comes in and picks it up and we find ourselves on the docks of NYC. The barrel is brought off the ship and loaded into the back of a truck with some other goods. The truck drives off. It is stopped by a man, who we’ll come to know as Sam, who hijacks it. He’s pretty polite while he does it.

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Fake Move Friday Vol 2: Sabotage

I wanted to start making some historically inspired fake movies. I found this weird story from a hundred years ago and I thought I could give it the Hollywood treatment. Try to guess what’s made up. And yes, I did steal the title from Hitchcock, but it’s a good title.

Sabotage

Based on a True Story is shown on the screen. Then spinning newspapers enter. The first headline announces the death of Archduke Ferdinand. The next few announce the start of war. The last headline is from 1917 and asks when the US will join their brothers in the fight.

Bill Hickman is reading the paper as his wife Tessie cooks breakfast. Bill refers to the paper and says to Tessie that its just a matter of time until they declare war. He gets a sheepish grin and says, “hey, it’ll be great for business.” Tessie playfully hits him. He laughs then gets serious. He says this is the great war, the last war, and America has a duty to do all it can to end the fighting once and for all. He says he is doing his small part. His company just finalized its contract to produce ammunition for the Russians. He says that whether people like it or not, the US is becoming a player in the war, and their will be consequences.
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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Taken Identity

I don’t have much to say here. Title from Tigs

Taken Identity

We open in an office. It’s late at night and Tom is hard at work. His eyes are shutting a bit and he’s startled by a knock at the door. It’s his boss Mr. Morlun. He tells Tom that he earned partner with all his hard work and that means he should be able to relax a little bit, maybe take a vacation. Tom smiles at him and says he’ll think about it.

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Fake Movie Friday Vol. 2: Bigger They Are

A new week and a new fake movie! Title comes from Peter, who is always on top of giving me suggestions because I always forget that we do this until he starts messaging me furiously.

Bigger They Are

It’s the year 21XX and the latest trend in entertainment is monster boxing. It’s kind of like BattleBots except because of science, or whatever, people are able to make giant Godzilla like creatures and have them battle each other in arenas for prizes and glory. The science has become so trivial to do at this point that most of the contestants are school kids who create their monsters through Frankenstein like tactics. Of course it’s against the law to not have a kill switch of sorts installed on these monsters as well, you know just incase. The losing monster always has the kill switch activated, where as the winner moves onto the next round.

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