Posted in May 2017

Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Midwest Kaiju

I technically got this in on Friday as I’m on west coast time.

Midwest Kaiju

We open on a tiny encampment in the middle of a field. There are a few trailers and industrial equipment but nothing else as far as the eye can see. There are a few men joking around. It’s a fracking site. After some technical talk, the men get to work. They start hitting levers to pump the water and chemicals deep beneath the earth. There is a loud pop. The men are frightened and start to check a readout on a laptop. There is a huge earthquake. The men flee as the earth behind them starts to sink then explode upwards.

Credits play over a montage of footage of anti-fracking protests, desolate landscapes and animal anatomy textbooks.

We are introduced to a young plucky zoologist named Zoe. She is leading a museum tour. There is a display of the evolutionary tree of mammals. The kids snicker at some of the strange looking moles and shrews. Zoe says they they shouldn’t laugh, their distance relatives looked similar to them. After the dinosaurs died out, it left room for mammals to take over the earth.
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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: The Fact Checker

Don’t tell anyone but I’m writing this on a Wednesday! Title from Tigs. Actually everything before now was written on a Wednesday. From here on out is now Thursday work.

The Fact Checker

Christine works for a major metropolitan newspaper. We see a montage of her on the phone calling to check up on all sorts of stories to confirm quotes and details. Every once in a while it is something a bit juicy and people are uncomfortable or angry. Paul, a low level reporter who she doesn’t like and annoys her a bit, stops by and flirts with her. She is saved by one of the most respected and well-known journalists at the paper named Susan.

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Movie Movie Podcast #70: The Year of Diesel

Join Russ, Alex, Peter and myself as we talk about Fate of the Furious, Get Out, Logan, Lego Batman, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2, Beauty and the Beast, xXx: Return of Xander Cage, Free Fire, Power Rangers and more on this episode of the Movie Movie Podcast. Recorded on May 24th 2017.

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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: The Great Barn

Title comes from last night’s Pig Pile! This is not going to be told in a linear fashion. Hope it makes sense. Warning: This turned out a) dark b) long.

The Great Barn

Movie opens with a huge barn on fire. It’s really going, like 100% on fire. It’s nighttime and we see cars parked near it. We see some decorations blowing in the wind.

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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Black Out

Finished this one up just in time to leave for Governors Island. Enjoy:

Black Out

Old School Hip Hop plays over a montage of life in Brooklyn in 1977. We see people breakdancing, playing chess in the part and playing basketball. There is graffiti everywhere, including in the high school where we meet Jimi. He is a short skinny kid who gets pushed into a locker. His books go flying everywhere. As he tries to gather them the other kids see his sketches of Star Wars characters. They all point and laugh at him for being a nerd.

Jimi eats lunch by himself in the AV room. One of the teachers walk in on him and gives him a pep talk about having to stick up for himself and to be more outgoing. Jimi says he just isn’t interested in the things the other kids are into. He says no one is as interested in science fiction and electronics as he is. The teacher gets distracted from his speech and shows Jimi a new portable cassette recorder they just got in, and seeing how sad he is offers to let Jimi borrow it.
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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Stolen Hearts

Right back hitting that giant list Tigs sent me last week. This is going to be Hitch but with magic powers.

Stolen Hearts

We open in a coffee shop. An attractive barista goes about her day. An unassuming man orders from her and sits near by. He works on a laptop and gets more than one drink. She doesn’t notice him staring. A real hot dude walks in and she looks up and her eyes light up a bit as an immediate attraction sparks up. Our main character, Quentin “Q” Pidd, bumps into the attractive man. Q then walks over to the unassuming man and touches him on the shoulder. The barista turns away and now looks longingly at the unassuming man. Q looks at the camera and says “Its just something I can do.”

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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Fools Gold

Tigs sent me 23 titles today. I’ll be picking from them for the next few weeks. There are some good ones in there. The man is a genius. Guy Ritchie isn’t, but I enjoy his gangster stuff a lot. This is one of those.

Fools Gold

We open on a man tied to a chair in a dimly lit room. In walks in Walter Hill, a tough London gangster type, begins to interrogate him about a robbery. Apparently someone stole a stash of gold and diamonds from a safe hidden in a front. The man tied up says he doesn’t know anything, two guys whose voices he didn’t recognize hit the store where the safe was and stumbled onto the safe. They didn’t seem to be going after the safe and lucked out. Hill kills the man and tells some henchman to find these idiots.

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