Posted in August 2017

Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: The Case For Causality

*Sorry about the mix up everyone! Hopefully won’t happen again

Been holding off on this one for a long time now. Tigs gave me this gem and we talked about a potential trilogy.

The Case for Causality

We open on flashes of hospital laboratory imagery. A woman screams. A child yells. Security runs through a hall. A man wakes up to a fright in bed as his the alarm in the dream syncs up with the alarm in his bedroom. He looks at the alarm and sees a bluish outline of himself setting the alarm and putting it back down. He rubs his eyes looking like he has a headache. Around the room we see an outline of him, closing the door, shutting off the light folding clothes. He shuts his eyes hard and takes several deep breaths. He opens his eyes slowly and the visions are gone. This is Arthur.

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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2- Lone Banana

This title comes from Julianne last night at Pig Pile. It’s origin from a stand ups set has to do with masturbating creativity. Let’s see what sort of movie comes from that fact.

Lone Banana

We open in an office building and people are talking about the previous weekend’s Halloween parties and such. They share pictures and stories until we hear the chime of an elevator and a silence comes over the office. The camera turns and we see a man walking through in a banana costume. He sits at his desk, puts his things down and gets to work.

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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Wizard War

This ones a little late but I’ve skipped too many weeks in a row and needed to get something out.

Wizard War

This is an animated movie that would have come out in the early 80s. Think Ralph Bakshi, Frank Frazetta, basically the art style of an airbrushed wizard on a van.

There is voice over during the prologue which sets up the world. Pretty much the entire prologue is static paintings to save money. The narrator talks about how the ancients discovered magic. The ancients lived in symbiosis with magic, listening to the power as well as using it. The peace was not to last. What became known as wizards began to bend magic to serve their own purposes. They corrupted it and splintered magic’s pure essence. So too were the wizards corrupted. Power above all else became their purpose leading to much bloodshed. The war raged on for decades, ending in a precarious truce.
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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Damsels Without Distress

I’ve been at home nursing a foot injury for a few days and have maybe said 10 words out loud in the past 5 days. Let’s see if that translates well to paper. Title from Tigs of course.

Damsels Without Distress

We open with a knight getting sent out by a king. It’s a fancy ceremony naming him a hero of the realm and such. We see a montage of him suiting up and mounting a beautiful horse. He rides out into the forest. The trees and terrain start to get darker and scarier. He fights some beasts, real and fantastic, as he travels. He approaches a dark tower and makes a speech about saving the princesses. He is quickly killed. We cut to the top of the tower where 4 women sit in a cell. One shouts out the window “Great job asshole!”

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Movie Movie Podcast #71: Three Months Later…

It’s been three months, but don’t worry we’re still just as funny as you remember! Join Alex, Peter, Russ and myself as we talk about Wonder Woman, Valarian and the City of a Thousand Planets, Atomic Blonde, Baby Driver, Spider-man: Homecoming, Wish Upon, The Emoji Movie, Dunkirk, A Ghost Story, War for the Planet of the Apes, The Big Sick, The Mummy, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales, Baywatch, Alien: Convenant, The Dark Tower, Hitman’s Bodyguard, It Comes at Night

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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Connected

Starting this on the previous Friday because I’m a FMF machine. Guess where this title came from? (The answer is Tigs)

Connected

Jake is riding high. He’s out with some friends at a bar. They are celebrating his engagement as well as his promotion. Things are going great. He just put a down payment on a house. He’s drinking pretty heavily and we start jumping ahead, skipping moments. We jump into a moment where he his punching someone in the face as the crowd gasps. His friends take him out of the bar and he gets put in a cab. A bouncer goes to one of his friends, “You’re man fucked up. That dude is connected.”

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