Posted by Dunn

Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Over the Top 2

Well two out of three isn’t terrible. It’s just a matter of time until we get this legacy sequel.

Over the Top 2

We open on a funeral. There is a huge intricate grave. The name on the grave is ‘Jason Cutler’ (Robert Loggia’s character from the first one). Michael Cutler-Hawk the kid is now grown. He is wearing a very expensive black suit. We see a disheveled figure standing under a tree in the background. He is covered in shadow. He takes a huge gulp of a glass of vodka and loses his grip. The glass shatters on a rock and everyone looks over at him and whisper. The figure slowly walks away.

Michael looks furious. He excuses himself and follows the figure. He tries to get the figures attention and finally yells, “Dad, stop!” Lincoln Hawk (Sylvester Stallone) turns around.
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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Straw Man

I told Pete I was going to do three of these in a row. Let’s see how I do.

Straw Man

The camera follows a crow as it flies above a corn field in the height of fall. It lands on a wooden sign with a painted cartoon scarecrow. The sign says
“pumpkin pickin
fried dough
petting zoo
corn maze”
A car drives past. The camera begins to follow the car. It parks and a family gets out and walk towards the fair.

It’s a mixed race family. Their son doesn’t seem very excited and is constantly on his phone. His mother teases him, “You know, if you ever looked up from that phone you might experience life. Who knows, you might even see a human female.” The son shrugs and goes back to his phone.

The parents are loving it. They pet all the animals and eat all the food. They pull their son into the corn maze.

The son follows but he keeps looking down at his phone. He looks up and can’t see his parents anymore. He pulls up google maps on his phone and it obviously is no help. He starts to get concerned and starts to run in the direction he imagines they went. He continues and ends up walking in circles. He is getting more and more scared when the maze opens up revealing a scarecrow.
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Fake Movie Friday Vol. 2: Flip It

Going upstate for a mini vacation. Getting this one done before then. I’ve really been slacking.

Flip it

We start with the opening theme song of a reality show circa 2007. The theme song is a play off of Devo’s “Whip It” with the word “whip” replaced with “flip”. Naomi is the star of the show. We see shots of homes before and after their renovations. Naomi talks about how she’s a single mother and how much that helps her to discipline contractors. It cuts to footage of her talking sternly to one of her kids then cuts to her taking the same tone with a roofer. In another cutaway Naomi talks about how she was barely scraping by but saw how much houses started to be sold for on her block and decided to change her career. The final shot is Naomi standing in front of her McMansion holding her littlest with the other three kids standing close by. She says “I’m finally living the American dream” as the camera pulls back.
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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Wizard War

This ones a little late but I’ve skipped too many weeks in a row and needed to get something out.

Wizard War

This is an animated movie that would have come out in the early 80s. Think Ralph Bakshi, Frank Frazetta, basically the art style of an airbrushed wizard on a van.

There is voice over during the prologue which sets up the world. Pretty much the entire prologue is static paintings to save money. The narrator talks about how the ancients discovered magic. The ancients lived in symbiosis with magic, listening to the power as well as using it. The peace was not to last. What became known as wizards began to bend magic to serve their own purposes. They corrupted it and splintered magic’s pure essence. So too were the wizards corrupted. Power above all else became their purpose leading to much bloodshed. The war raged on for decades, ending in a precarious truce.
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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: The Home

The new season of Degrassi is out! Got this one done first.

The Home

Big Band music plays over black and white images depicting life in the 50s. There clips of teenagers dancing and having fun. There is a hard cut to a group of old people in staring at a TV set. No one is moving and it seems like a still picture except for the changing light from the TV. The shot changes to the TV and the show ’60 Minutes’ begins. An orderly walks over and shuts of the TV.

The old people are livid. A fit man in his 70s (Cyrus) stands up to put the TV back on but the orderly tells him to sit down and that there is a change of plans for tonight. An overweight man in his late 80s starts to mutter to himself “I can’t miss 60 Minutes… I can’t miss …”. A woman (Rose) puts her hand on the man’s shoulders and says “You know how much Fred needs his routine. He hasn’t missed an episode in years!” The orderly shrugs and puts a VHS copy of West Side Story into the VCR and says “We wanted to treat all of you with one of your favorite movies… and ice cream!” At that other workers bring in a cart of ice cream.
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Fake Movie Friday vol 2: Deep Blue

Waiting to go dancing again tonight, but was able to finish this up first.

Deep Blue

It’s a 1997 news report. 90s style graphics show the title “man vs machine.” The anchor talks about how its game six in a chess match between the best human chess player in the world and a computer.

The credit sequence shows computer code and archival footage of chess matches.
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Fake Movie Friday Vol2: Black Monday

Just under the wire. I watched the new Alien movie right after work so I got to it late.

Black Monday

It’s 1987. A man stands by an open window. The Manhattan skyline can be seen from this 50th floor office. The man (Timothy) is wearing a Wall Street suit.

We flash back in time. Timothy is sitting behind a computer and his supervisor is standing over his shoulder. “Jesus Christ, that number isn’t real is it,” she says. Timothy is stone face. “… I … I think it is.” “Jesus Christ. We have to stop this.” “It’s all automated… I…” “Fucking unplug it.” “There’s a supercomputer down the hall….” “Shut it all down. Shut down the power to this floor.”
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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Midwest Kaiju

I technically got this in on Friday as I’m on west coast time.

Midwest Kaiju

We open on a tiny encampment in the middle of a field. There are a few trailers and industrial equipment but nothing else as far as the eye can see. There are a few men joking around. It’s a fracking site. After some technical talk, the men get to work. They start hitting levers to pump the water and chemicals deep beneath the earth. There is a loud pop. The men are frightened and start to check a readout on a laptop. There is a huge earthquake. The men flee as the earth behind them starts to sink then explode upwards.

Credits play over a montage of footage of anti-fracking protests, desolate landscapes and animal anatomy textbooks.

We are introduced to a young plucky zoologist named Zoe. She is leading a museum tour. There is a display of the evolutionary tree of mammals. The kids snicker at some of the strange looking moles and shrews. Zoe says they they shouldn’t laugh, their distance relatives looked similar to them. After the dinosaurs died out, it left room for mammals to take over the earth.
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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Black Out

Finished this one up just in time to leave for Governors Island. Enjoy:

Black Out

Old School Hip Hop plays over a montage of life in Brooklyn in 1977. We see people breakdancing, playing chess in the part and playing basketball. There is graffiti everywhere, including in the high school where we meet Jimi. He is a short skinny kid who gets pushed into a locker. His books go flying everywhere. As he tries to gather them the other kids see his sketches of Star Wars characters. They all point and laugh at him for being a nerd.

Jimi eats lunch by himself in the AV room. One of the teachers walk in on him and gives him a pep talk about having to stick up for himself and to be more outgoing. Jimi says he just isn’t interested in the things the other kids are into. He says no one is as interested in science fiction and electronics as he is. The teacher gets distracted from his speech and shows Jimi a new portable cassette recorder they just got in, and seeing how sad he is offers to let Jimi borrow it.
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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Summer of Love

Oh man, I almost beat Pete but he just posted before me. Damn.

Summer of Love

A Doors song plays on the soundtrack makes it clear that it is summer 1967. Three hippies, Daisy, Fred and Jamal smoke on the top of their van. Daisy has flowers in her hair, Fred wears big sunglasses and has long hair and a beard, Jamal has a sweet Afro. They are having a rambling stoned conversation. The conversation takes a serious turn when they begin talking about the war. Jamal cuts them off saying they shouldn’t think about that now, there’s time for those thoughts later that night. Daisy brings up movies and they start discussing Bonnie and Clyde.

We cut to a wealthy middle aged couple getting ready to go out. As the man is putting on his tux and the woman her makeup, they are also discussing Bonnie and Clyde. We cut back and forth between the conversations, the couple hated the movie. They didn’t like the glorification of violence and felt like the level of violence was completely gratuitous, especially at the end. The hippies on the other hand, loved it. They felt it was a transgressive work of art. As the wealthy couple are walking out the door the woman says that hopefully they will have a better time tonight, but she doesn’t have high hopes. The man says if it’s a bust they can just go rob a bank. The woman hits him playfully. We cut back to the hippies who are getting ready to leave. They are still discussing the movie. Daisy starts the van and says, “no one can disagree that that movie made violence beautiful.” As the van pulls away we can see through the window into the backseat. It is filled with guns.
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