So instead of giving you guys a fake movie friday last week, I thought I’d save my shitty take on a christmas movie, but also make a sequel at the same time.
Dude Where’s My Baby
The film opens up on Jesse (Ashton Kutcher) and Wanda (Jennifer Garner) calling Chester (Seann William Scott) and Wilma (Marla Sokoloff) and asking how the baby is. Chester says the baby is totally “shibby” and that they’re so happy to have little rugmuncher around the house. Jesse says that if they need anything (while making body language to suggest weed smoking) to call him. Chester says thanks and the movie starts. Wilma now has a high powered business lady job in the city and Chester is a house-husband. So he and the baby, named Tiger have a really great connection. Wilma reminds him that her parents are coming for Christmas Eve dinner, so he and Tiger need to be on their best behavior. Chester says of course and tells her they are going to run some errands all day and chill and stuff, but they’ll be fine. We cut to Chester at the supermarket in the snacks aisle. The baby is like at that age where it can walk, but not like talk a bunch FYI. Anyway, Chester sees what looks like a mugging from the other aisle, and when he turns to grab Tiger and leave she’s gone, cue the classic line, Dude Wheres My Baby?
Basically so I don’t have to keep going back to it, what happens on the baby’s end for 90 mins is pretty much an xmas themed Baby’s Day Out. The baby walks through crimes, dubstep dance parties, meets santa, and stops an alien invasion.
On Chesters side of things, he loses the baby and then loses their car, to the mugger from earlier. Turns out the mugger is Lil Wayne and his boss is Ken Jeong. Chester calls Jesse for help and Jesse and him split up to find the baby and the car AGAIN. Jesse finds the car, and Chester finds that the baby gets found by Tommy and Christie Boner. They say that it’s their baby fair and square and the only way they’ll give it back is if Chester fights for it. Chester of course gets beat up real bad by Tommy and then all of sudden the baby starts kicking everyones ass (yea i know) and jumps into Chesters arms and says “daddy” for the first time.
Chester with the baby calls Jesse and Lil Wayne answers saying that he’s got Jesse tied up and if he doesn’t get there in the next hour Jesse’s toast. But Chester needs to get home in 20 mins cause Wilma’s parents (Julie White and Christopher McDonald) will be there any min, and they’re tough. But Chester can’t leave his dude. He goes to Lil Wayne and Ken Jeong (both playing themselves somehow) and tells Tiger to do what he does, and Tiger kicks everyones ass, they get Jesse, get the car, and get home in 85 mins. Wilma is upset, but Chester explains the whole story to them and after a long pause, everyone laughs. They eat Xmas eve dinner.
The End.
As the credits roll we see Chester gets Tiger all these Ninja weapons for xmas and it’s supposed to be funny.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
I might be crazy or sick right now, but this movie TOTALLY WORKS and I want to see it so bad