Fake Movie Friday: Almost Like Family

‘People Like Us’ comes this week. Don’t think we will fit it in for this week’s podcast but it’s the type of movie I just don’t get. It’s never going to win an award. It’s not going to make a lot of money. It can’t be meaningful to anyone because the plot is just so absurd. So here’s my shot at such a overly emotional pile of family poo.

Almost Like Family

The film opens on a woman walking around a kitchen in a short t-shirt and only her underwear making breakfast. She looks super happy and dances about setting up a tray of food. She walks with it and shouts something cute about last night and opens the bedroom door. She is cut off when she finds the room empty, the window open, and a man running down the street putting his clothes on.

His name is Brad Walker, played by Bradley Cooper, and he’s fixing his hair walking home. He hops the front gait of his small house, he’s super cool like that. Before he walks in an old man yells at him from the porch next door, played by Morgan Freeman. He says something sly about Brad sleeping around. Old Mr. Franklin tells him a cute little story that Brad ignores and laughs it off.

Brad goes inside still laughing but things turn a bit sad when he gets out of the shower and opens his sock drawer to find a picture of him and a woman. They are hugging and he looks at with a sense of lost love.

He goes outside onto his porch with a beer. He sees a young man in Mr. Franklin’s yard raking. Mr. Franklin comes out and walks over to Brad. He calls over the young boy Paul, played by some unknown child actor who all reviews will talk about how great he is, and introduces the two. He says that maybe Paul should do some work in Brad’s yard since it is gross. The boy is shy but Brad agrees reluctantly at the nagging of Mr. Franklin.

There’s a montage Brad partying and in the morning the kid working in the yard annoying Brad with the noise. Brad tripping over garden tools and such. Brad wakes up one day extra hung-over to a knock at the door. It’s Paul and he’s somehow cut his hand open. Brad bumbles around trying to help him. He brings him to the hospital where a nurse asks if he’s the father. He laughs and says no.

A doctor explains to Brad that the boy lives with his grandmother who can’t come and get him so Brad drives him home. They bond a bit in the car as Brad tries to get him to laugh and feel better. He drops him of and goes home. Brad starts to hang out with Paul. He takes him around to go-karts or some cute movie bullshit like a baseball game. They start to bond and have fun.

Brad helps Paul one day get the courage to talk to a girl. Brad does this by telling Paul about a woman he loved once. We see visions of the woman from the picture. How Brad loved her but he made the biggest mistake of his life by letting her go.

Paul falls asleep in the car on Brad one night and Brad carries Paul into his grandmother’s house. He puts him in bed and has a chat with the grandmother. He says how much he’s grow to care about Paul and how strange it is for him to be so close to a kid, he’s usually not the most dependable. He goes over to the mantle as the grandmother talks about how much Paul talks about him. Brad sees on the mantle a picture of Paul as a baby held by the WOMAN FROM HIS PICTURE! He gets weird as the grandmother tells him that Paul’s mother is dead and his father never knew about him. Brad leaves in a hurry.

Brad goes out and gets real drunk and pukes on his way home, passing out on his lawn. He wakes up on his couch to sounds from the kitchen. Mr. Franklin comes in and brings him some old man hangover cure. It’s gross and Brad explains what happened at Paul’s house. Mr. Franklin doesn’t seem surprised. He knew all along whom the boy was. He set it up so Paul could meet his father. Brad is a bit angry at first but settles down. Mr. Franklin explains that he’s watched Brad for years waste his life away, that he himself never really knew his own son and didn’t want to see that happen to Brad. They hear a noise from the porch and realize Paul has been listening.

Paul runs off and Brad chases him. A car hits Paul. Brad takes him to the hospital where a nurse asks him if he’s the father. He says something cute like “I’m supposed to be.” Paul wakes up and they cry and have a cute conversation. Cut to them all in the backyard grilling. Paul and Brad play and joke. Mr. Franklin hits on Paul’s grandmother and its cute.

The End.

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4 thoughts on “Fake Movie Friday: Almost Like Family

  1. Dunn says:

    A twist that everyone could see coming after just watching the trailer, perfect. This was great.

  2. russ says:

    This cuts right to the core of movie theater bullshit

  3. Michael says:

    I’d watch it. I’m starting to get annoyed that these aren’t on Netflix.

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