It’s St. Patrick’s day and I’m trying to get this done before going out. I was sick last week and missed writing a fake movie but I’m not missing this week!
Brothers in Crime
Mikey and Bert are 10 and 8 respectively. We see them in a one room classroom. Mikey is being disruptive. The teacher says that if he doesn’t follow the rules he won’t amount to anything. We cut to the kids playing. Mikey is very rambunctious and picks on the littler kids but always defends his brother. We cut to the brothers at a corner store. Mikey steals some baseball cards.
1934. The brothers are now adults. Mikey has continued in his way and has begun to rob banks. He is buying expensive cars and has a beautiful girlfriend. Mikey is always nice to Bert but it is clear that Bert is envious of his lifestyle. He has always been a law abiding man but he has had enough and decides to rob a bank.
Bert doesn’t have the same abilities or mentality for being a thief. He is smart enough to wear a mask but the robbery is a disaster. Just as he pulled his gun out a cop walked in. He barely escaped with his life. With the cops close behind and nowhere else to go, Bert ends up at Mikey’s apartment.
Bert is a mess and is asking for any help he can get. Mikey feels responsible for what happened. He says he will take Bert’s place but says he has to promise to make something of his life. Mikey says he was bound to get caught sooner or later so at least he can finally do something good with his life. He switches clothes with Bert and wears the mask. He steps outside and gives himself up.
In prison Mikey befriends the prison chaplain. He starts taking an interest in religion and converts. He feels a lot of shame for how he lived his life up to this point. He vows to do everything he can to make amends.
It’s 1937 and Mikey gets out of jail. Bert picks him up in an expensive car. He takes him to his enormous apartment filled with fine art. They catch up and Bert is clearly trying to show off. He brags about how successful his investment fund is doing. He says how thankful he is for what Mikey did for him and that he has a job at his fund no questions asked. Mikey tries to say how unqualified he is but Bert cuts him off and says he won’t take no for an answer.
Mikey feels he has so much to make up for and devotes himself to the job. He researches all he can and puts in long hours. Bert is impressed but starts to deflect specific questions as Mikey learns more about finance. Mikey is surprised and isn’t sure what to do. He decides that knowing exactly how the investments are handled and traded is something he needs to know. He sneaks around late one night and lock picks his way into a restricted room and reads some secret documents.
Mikey confronts his brother. He says he knows his secret. The fund doesn’t make any actual investments, it’s a Ponzi scheme. Bert says he felt like he had to be successful to justify the sacrifice Mikey made. He says he tried to do it on the up and up but his stock picks started to go south. He started to cook the books hoping things would turn around but they never did. He gave up and is now just trying to take all he can before it all falls apart. He says it’s actually pretty great. It’s so much easier than robbing banks because people line up to give you money.
Mikey says he has to stop, that this is immoral. He says he changed when he was in jail. Stealing is wrong no matter what form it takes and Bert has to give himself up. Bert laughs and says he is going continue to take all he can.
Mikey goes to the police. They say they’ve had their eye on the company for a while but it’s notoriously hard to prosecute Ponzi schemes. They ask Mikey to wear a wire and try to get his brother on tape.
Mikey confronts Bert again and talks about how Bert is hurting those who put their trust in him. Bert says they are all just losers and he is so much smarter than them.
It’s enough for the police. They raid the company. In slow motion Bert is taken out with hand cuffs. The scene is intercut with slow motion footage of the brothers playing as children.