Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Über Driver

Title comes from Pig Pile last night. I can’t say whether or not they meant it with the umlaut or not. I’ve chosen to include it because I think it will make for a more interesting movie.

Über Driver

A young couple get make out on the street. The girl looks pretty drunk and the guy is aggressive. A ride share service car pulls up and they get in. Things go down hill for the two and she starts to get angry with him. He is unrelenting and hits her. The car comes to a screeching halt. The guy yells about how the driver should stay out of their business before he is yanked out of the car and thrown across the street in the air with superhuman strength. The driver gets back in the car and asks her where she wants to be dropped off, in a thick German accent. He tells her that it will be free of charge and not to worry. Title card.

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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Christmas Comes Early

Let’s get ahead on this shit again. Tigs gave me a big long list of titles and I’m ready to rock after how disappointed I am after last week’s movie, which I didn’t even tweet out.

Christmas Comes Early

Ben is a hotshot Wall Street type. He lives in a fancy apartment in the city and does two things, makes money and bangs chicks. What he doesn’t do is care about anyone (off to a great start this week). It’s late November and he’s on the phone with his parents. He tells them that he won’t be able to make it to thanksgiving since he’s too busy. They are sad but things get worse when he then says that he probably won’t make Christmas either. He shrugs it off and heads out for the night. He returns home and passes out. As he does we hear sleigh bells.

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Fake Movie Friday Vol. 2: Flip It

Going upstate for a mini vacation. Getting this one done before then. I’ve really been slacking.

Flip it

We start with the opening theme song of a reality show circa 2007. The theme song is a play off of Devo’s “Whip It” with the word “whip” replaced with “flip”. Naomi is the star of the show. We see shots of homes before and after their renovations. Naomi talks about how she’s a single mother and how much that helps her to discipline contractors. It cuts to footage of her talking sternly to one of her kids then cuts to her taking the same tone with a roofer. In another cutaway Naomi talks about how she was barely scraping by but saw how much houses started to be sold for on her block and decided to change her career. The final shot is Naomi standing in front of her McMansion holding her littlest with the other three kids standing close by. She says “I’m finally living the American dream” as the camera pulls back.
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First FMF of the new school year!  I’m pretty beat so this will probably be very short/not good. But a year approaches! Title from the man who puts the give in title giver, Tigs.

Teach the Stars

We open late at night following a dark path up a hill. No one is around and we arrive at a giant telescope housed in an old observatory whose grounds are a bit disheveled. We fly into the rough and find a 60-something man named Martin. He sits looking through the telescope, the only one in the facility. He rubs his eyes a bit tired.

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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: My Only Friend

Yet another movie written on a train this week. Title comes from Tigs who knows how Game of Thrones ends. Ask him!

My Only Friend

Black screen and we hear school sounds. A bell, lockers closing, slaps of high fives, and then finally teasing. We fade in but it is not a normal school. We see all sorts of different creatures. Some are furry, some with scales, different amounts of limbs, pretty much a ‘Monsters Inc’ type world. They are all picking on a large, orange, furry creature with the face of a lion. His name is Walter and he doesn’t have any friends.

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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: The Case For Causality

*Sorry about the mix up everyone! Hopefully won’t happen again

Been holding off on this one for a long time now. Tigs gave me this gem and we talked about a potential trilogy.

The Case for Causality

We open on flashes of hospital laboratory imagery. A woman screams. A child yells. Security runs through a hall. A man wakes up to a fright in bed as his the alarm in the dream syncs up with the alarm in his bedroom. He looks at the alarm and sees a bluish outline of himself setting the alarm and putting it back down. He rubs his eyes looking like he has a headache. Around the room we see an outline of him, closing the door, shutting off the light folding clothes. He shuts his eyes hard and takes several deep breaths. He opens his eyes slowly and the visions are gone. This is Arthur.

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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2- Lone Banana

This title comes from Julianne last night at Pig Pile. It’s origin from a stand ups set has to do with masturbating creativity. Let’s see what sort of movie comes from that fact.

Lone Banana

We open in an office building and people are talking about the previous weekend’s Halloween parties and such. They share pictures and stories until we hear the chime of an elevator and a silence comes over the office. The camera turns and we see a man walking through in a banana costume. He sits at his desk, puts his things down and gets to work.

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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Wizard War

This ones a little late but I’ve skipped too many weeks in a row and needed to get something out.

Wizard War

This is an animated movie that would have come out in the early 80s. Think Ralph Bakshi, Frank Frazetta, basically the art style of an airbrushed wizard on a van.

There is voice over during the prologue which sets up the world. Pretty much the entire prologue is static paintings to save money. The narrator talks about how the ancients discovered magic. The ancients lived in symbiosis with magic, listening to the power as well as using it. The peace was not to last. What became known as wizards began to bend magic to serve their own purposes. They corrupted it and splintered magic’s pure essence. So too were the wizards corrupted. Power above all else became their purpose leading to much bloodshed. The war raged on for decades, ending in a precarious truce.
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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Damsels Without Distress

I’ve been at home nursing a foot injury for a few days and have maybe said 10 words out loud in the past 5 days. Let’s see if that translates well to paper. Title from Tigs of course.

Damsels Without Distress

We open with a knight getting sent out by a king. It’s a fancy ceremony naming him a hero of the realm and such. We see a montage of him suiting up and mounting a beautiful horse. He rides out into the forest. The trees and terrain start to get darker and scarier. He fights some beasts, real and fantastic, as he travels. He approaches a dark tower and makes a speech about saving the princesses. He is quickly killed. We cut to the top of the tower where 4 women sit in a cell. One shouts out the window “Great job asshole!”

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Movie Movie Podcast #71: Three Months Later…

It’s been three months, but don’t worry we’re still just as funny as you remember! Join Alex, Peter, Russ and myself as we talk about Wonder Woman, Valarian and the City of a Thousand Planets, Atomic Blonde, Baby Driver, Spider-man: Homecoming, Wish Upon, The Emoji Movie, Dunkirk, A Ghost Story, War for the Planet of the Apes, The Big Sick, The Mummy, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales, Baywatch, Alien: Convenant, The Dark Tower, Hitman’s Bodyguard, It Comes at Night

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