Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Midwest Kaiju

I technically got this in on Friday as I’m on west coast time.

Midwest Kaiju

We open on a tiny encampment in the middle of a field. There are a few trailers and industrial equipment but nothing else as far as the eye can see. There are a few men joking around. It’s a fracking site. After some technical talk, the men get to work. They start hitting levers to pump the water and chemicals deep beneath the earth. There is a loud pop. The men are frightened and start to check a readout on a laptop. There is a huge earthquake. The men flee as the earth behind them starts to sink then explode upwards.

Credits play over a montage of footage of anti-fracking protests, desolate landscapes and animal anatomy textbooks.

We are introduced to a young plucky zoologist named Zoe. She is leading a museum tour. There is a display of the evolutionary tree of mammals. The kids snicker at some of the strange looking moles and shrews. Zoe says they they shouldn’t laugh, their distance relatives looked similar to them. After the dinosaurs died out, it left room for mammals to take over the earth.
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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: The Fact Checker

Don’t tell anyone but I’m writing this on a Wednesday! Title from Tigs. Actually everything before now was written on a Wednesday. From here on out is now Thursday work.

The Fact Checker

Christine works for a major metropolitan newspaper. We see a montage of her on the phone calling to check up on all sorts of stories to confirm quotes and details. Every once in a while it is something a bit juicy and people are uncomfortable or angry. Paul, a low level reporter who she doesn’t like and annoys her a bit, stops by and flirts with her. She is saved by one of the most respected and well-known journalists at the paper named Susan.

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Movie Movie Podcast #70: The Year of Diesel

Join Russ, Alex, Peter and myself as we talk about Fate of the Furious, Get Out, Logan, Lego Batman, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2, Beauty and the Beast, xXx: Return of Xander Cage, Free Fire, Power Rangers and more on this episode of the Movie Movie Podcast. Recorded on May 24th 2017.

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Title comes from last night’s Pig Pile! This is not going to be told in a linear fashion. Hope it makes sense. Warning: This turned out a) dark b) long.

The Great Barn

Movie opens with a huge barn on fire. It’s really going, like 100% on fire. It’s nighttime and we see cars parked near it. We see some decorations blowing in the wind.

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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Black Out

Finished this one up just in time to leave for Governors Island. Enjoy:

Black Out

Old School Hip Hop plays over a montage of life in Brooklyn in 1977. We see people breakdancing, playing chess in the part and playing basketball. There is graffiti everywhere, including in the high school where we meet Jimi. He is a short skinny kid who gets pushed into a locker. His books go flying everywhere. As he tries to gather them the other kids see his sketches of Star Wars characters. They all point and laugh at him for being a nerd.

Jimi eats lunch by himself in the AV room. One of the teachers walk in on him and gives him a pep talk about having to stick up for himself and to be more outgoing. Jimi says he just isn’t interested in the things the other kids are into. He says no one is as interested in science fiction and electronics as he is. The teacher gets distracted from his speech and shows Jimi a new portable cassette recorder they just got in, and seeing how sad he is offers to let Jimi borrow it.
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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Stolen Hearts

Right back hitting that giant list Tigs sent me last week. This is going to be Hitch but with magic powers.

Stolen Hearts

We open in a coffee shop. An attractive barista goes about her day. An unassuming man orders from her and sits near by. He works on a laptop and gets more than one drink. She doesn’t notice him staring. A real hot dude walks in and she looks up and her eyes light up a bit as an immediate attraction sparks up. Our main character, Quentin “Q” Pidd, bumps into the attractive man. Q then walks over to the unassuming man and touches him on the shoulder. The barista turns away and now looks longingly at the unassuming man. Q looks at the camera and says “Its just something I can do.”

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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Fools Gold

Tigs sent me 23 titles today. I’ll be picking from them for the next few weeks. There are some good ones in there. The man is a genius. Guy Ritchie isn’t, but I enjoy his gangster stuff a lot. This is one of those.

Fools Gold

We open on a man tied to a chair in a dimly lit room. In walks in Walter Hill, a tough London gangster type, begins to interrogate him about a robbery. Apparently someone stole a stash of gold and diamonds from a safe hidden in a front. The man tied up says he doesn’t know anything, two guys whose voices he didn’t recognize hit the store where the safe was and stumbled onto the safe. They didn’t seem to be going after the safe and lucked out. Hill kills the man and tells some henchman to find these idiots.

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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Summer of Love

Oh man, I almost beat Pete but he just posted before me. Damn.

Summer of Love

A Doors song plays on the soundtrack makes it clear that it is summer 1967. Three hippies, Daisy, Fred and Jamal smoke on the top of their van. Daisy has flowers in her hair, Fred wears big sunglasses and has long hair and a beard, Jamal has a sweet Afro. They are having a rambling stoned conversation. The conversation takes a serious turn when they begin talking about the war. Jamal cuts them off saying they shouldn’t think about that now, there’s time for those thoughts later that night. Daisy brings up movies and they start discussing Bonnie and Clyde.

We cut to a wealthy middle aged couple getting ready to go out. As the man is putting on his tux and the woman her makeup, they are also discussing Bonnie and Clyde. We cut back and forth between the conversations, the couple hated the movie. They didn’t like the glorification of violence and felt like the level of violence was completely gratuitous, especially at the end. The hippies on the other hand, loved it. They felt it was a transgressive work of art. As the wealthy couple are walking out the door the woman says that hopefully they will have a better time tonight, but she doesn’t have high hopes. The man says if it’s a bust they can just go rob a bank. The woman hits him playfully. We cut back to the hippies who are getting ready to leave. They are still discussing the movie. Daisy starts the van and says, “no one can disagree that that movie made violence beautiful.” As the van pulls away we can see through the window into the backseat. It is filled with guns.
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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Curley Sue’s Last Stand

Title from Tigs, clearly he nailed it in one. He also made the typo, which I am keeping and making it a part of the plot.

Curley Sue’s Last Stand

James Curley, an older man, sits outside his cabin in the woods. A fancy Cadillac pulls down the dirt road and a man in a suit exits. The well-dressed man addresses him as Sue. James has really curly hair and has always been referred to as Curley Sue. He asks Sue if he had time to look over the mining company’s proposal to buy his land. Sue point over to the side of the house at his wood chipper littered with white pieces of paper. The man shakes his head and tells him it was a generous offer. Sue says he agrees and tells the man to get off his land.

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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Thieves in the Night

I started this on my phone earlier and accidentally deleted it. Trust me, the original opening was beautiful. Title from Tigs! It’s been a while since I’ve written one this long. Sorry.

Thieves in the Night

A young boy sets up a pair of binoculars on his windowsill. He’s watching a cornfield across the street. The wind blows the stalks aside and he sees a shadow in them. He gets scared but looks again and this time there is no wind but they continue to move as if something is traveling through them. He jumps over to his bed hiding as he hears the creaking of wood outside his window. He rolls out of bed to hid under it trying to get his flashlight on until something grabs him and pulls him out. He tries to scream but a strange shadowy hand covers his mouth.

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