Tag Archives: kate beckinsale

Kate Beckinsale is The Mummy (Probably)

Len Wiseman has been hired to shepherd the reboot of The Mummy franchise.  Apparently the studio wants to take the series in an entirely different and darker direction, so they hired Wiseman.  So far, if we are keeping score at home, Len Wiseman created and directed the vastly underwhelming Underworld series, he directed the infinitely dumb Live Free or Die Hard, and he directed the remake bomb of the summer Total Recall.  There are two common threads in Len Wiseman movies;  Kate Beckinsale (his wife), and life-less set pieces.  Maybe life-less is what a Mummy film needs? Probably not.

I am at my wits end with Hollywood.  I get that monster movies will continually be revised and released etc, but why are we attaching hacks to projects that could be great.  Say what you want about Stephen Sommers’ Mummy films, but at least they were fun.  No they weren’t be any stretch the definitive Mummy film, but they were fun adventure films that killed time.  Len Wiseman can only make lense-flare filled action scenes with his wife front and center.  Nothing he has made gives me confidence this is a good idea.  What I can tell you is that Wiseman is the perfect director for a studio that doesn’t want to take risks.  He can make your movie on time, on a lower budget, and he wont be a problem to work with!  I’m sure he’s a nice guy, but we have to stop giving this guy major franchises.  He can’t do it.  He can film is wife’s butt awesomely though.

I think every studio should just stop and think WWGDTD (What Would Guillermo Del Toro Do?) when thinking about starting a new sci-fi/horror franchise.

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Fake Movie Friday – Q&A UPDATED!

This is my take on the “I’m obsessed with you, and someones gonna die” film.  It will be directed by David Slade.

The film opens with Aaron Mitchell and his wife Rachel getting ready in the morning.  They have a huge house and lots of waitstaff.  They live in the Hollywood Hills.  Aaron is played by Adrien Brody, and Rachel by Kate Beckinsale.  They get into a limo and head to the airport where a small plane is waiting for them.  Aaron’s agent, Frank Bradley, played by Giovanni Ribisi asks him why Aaron even still bothers going to these things, and Aaron says he likes being accessible to the fans.  They deserve it.  Frank replies “Yea right” and just like that the pilot takes off and tells them they will be landing in San Diego in a little over an hour.

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