Wow today was busy at work, but here I am on the train home and it’s time for another Fake Movie Friday! This weeks title was suggested to me by Lisa last night at the Manhattan College Alumni Happy Two Hours. I decided this needs to be a weird experimental sort of film, mostly scenes with very little connecting it all…or is there??
A man is looking in a mirror, the camera is only watching the mirror as the man throws a brick at the mirror shattering it. Close up on one of the broken shards we can see the sun outside through them, so pan to the sun and then pan down outside to five women doing yoga ontop of a lake, they have no reflection in the lake. We see a train go by in the reflection of the lake but there is no train anywhere else. We follow the train, the people inside precieve it as raining outside. There two children run up and down the aisle, as the ticket taker eats the passengers tickets. Andrew Dunn is on fire in one of the seats. We see the man from the mirror reading a news paper that is all jumbled letters and distorted images. Only the article he is reading makes any sense and it is titled Man Bites Dog. Everyone on the train is smiling, like the creepy people in the Black Hole Sun video. The image in the article is of an empty park, a close up on that and we find ourselves in the park, the film is now in black and white. Three painted people walk by but blend into the background so they are only visible some of the time as they are walking across the screen. There is a child digging a hole, and looking around the park there are multiple holes all around. The black and white shutter speed should drop at this point and trees will start growing out of the ground, made of old electronics and recyclables. We follow one of the trees as it grows up and there is an open window to an apartment visable, the camera flys through the open window and we find the man from before and a woman in bed together, the woman smoking a cigarette.
“Do you love me?” She asks.
“No,” he relies.
We exit the apartment and find another open door, there we see a satanic ritual taking place, a demon is successfully summoned and kills the group. The demon than takes it’s agression out on the film, so the film should be badly damaged and scratched while it is attacking the screen. A white beacon of light enters from the window and sets the place on fire, the film does not react though. The film is still displaying as badly damaged, the beacon of light transforms into a fiery person who wills the film to stop, so it is just a stand still image of the fiery specter as the film restores and turns back into color. The film starts again and the specter snaps its flame fingers and vanishes. There is a ball being thrown up and down outside the window, the camera follows the ball to an elderly man, singing and dancing while throwing this ball in the air. He is singing “The Boys are Back In Town” in french. There are people all around watching him, as they disperse they walk backwards away. One the woman from earlier is there with another woman, arms in each others back pocket.
The new woman asks, “do you love me?”
“No,” she replies.
They pass a man who is painting a picture of a knight in armor. He finishes, leaves and the knight comes to life and hops out of the painting. There is a painting of a dragon next to him, which is stabs, though the dragon does not react as though it were alive (it’s just a painting). A hipping comes by, ties a sunflower around the knights sword and walks off. We see the hippie is actually the man from earlier. He heads back to his camp site where a man is practicing magic tricks next to a conjurer who is creating salmon from nothing, who sing in pain. The hippie man walks to a hill where the new woman from before is sitting. There is a brilliant rainbow and the sun set illuminates the city below. The clouds are fluorescent. He sits next to her, puts his arm around her and his head on her shoulder.
“Do you love me,” he asks.
“No,” she replies.
He leaves his head on her shoulder and we pull back to see that the clouds, sun and rainbow are all part of a back drop.
“Cut” is heard.
Cut to black.
I can’t wait to tell my kids to stay away from Uncle Tigs
i’d be lying if i said this is what i expected when you took that as a title haha.