Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: The Slow Creeping Hand of Death

Title this week from Pete. I wanted to make this 200 words… it ended up being over 800…

The Slow Creeping Hand of Death

We start out in a jail. One of the inmates is in a fight with like 20 others. He’s beats them all, getting badly bruised and cut, then is thrown in solitary. A guard says something about “making the most of his last days.”

He’s brought to the electric chair a few days later, gives his last words of “see you soon” or something and the switch is pulled. He doesn’t die at first and he just laughs, then they up the voltage and pull the switch again. There is so much electricity that his hand tears off in the process. The hand lays on the floor motionless, one last burst of electricity hits the floor and the hand starts to move on its own.

One of the guards goes to pick it up, but it attacks him and latches onto his face, the other guards open fire, but only end up killing that guard, as the hand keeps running, the guards shoot at it but keep shooting each other. The uninjured guards are looking for the hand while standing in a pool of blood from the execution, the hand goes and flips the electric switch and fries them all. It then shimmies itself into a glove, grabs cash from a wallet, and a pair of sunglasses and walks out of the jail.

Walking down the street, in a glove and wearing the sunglasses, an old couple see the hand, one says “look at that midget” and the other slaps the first and says “they don’t like being called that! It’s little people now.”

The hand hails a cab, the cab driver makes some reference to not getting many of his kind in the cab. The hand walks into an apartment and there is a woman and a man struggling. The man is saying something about “Jim taking the fall for the boss”, “He’s gone now Rita”,  and the woman screaming how “they’ll pay for this” as the man pulls out a gun. The hand jumps up and grabs his face, he starts flailing around trying to pull the hand off, he points the gun at his face where the hand is and just as he pulls the trigger the hand goes limp and he shoots himself in the face.

Rita recognizes the hand as Jim’s hand. She says, “We’ve got the upper HAND. Let’s go kill the bastards who did this to you.”

So they drive to the hideout, just the hand drives, Rita sits in the passenger seat and no one questions anything.

They get to the hide out, Rita is packing a bunch of guns and knives, she kicks open the door and shouts something like “You look like you could use some help, let me lend you a HAND” and throws the hand with a knife in at a group of the bad dudes. The hand slices, Rita is doing flips and shit on the walls and shooting at the group of dudes. There is a pool of blood and the two of them head up stairs.

The next floor has a bunch of bad dudes playing poker, Rita kicks in the door again and says “Sorry boys looks like I’ve got the winning HAND” and throws the hand again, this time holding a grenade, which it throws at the last second. Again, she’s doing flips etc.

One the next floor the bad dudes have been watching on a closed circuit TV and are staring at the door waiting for Rita and the hand to pop in, but they come from a vent and unleash chaos. Afterwards Rita says, “we know this place like the back of our HAND.”

The next floor is just the boss, who’s been waiting and watching. He pulls out an old tommy gun and starts shooting through the doors. Rita, peeking through says “that’s an old gun, is that a HAND me down.” He shouts “Your puns are a bit heavy HANDed don’t you think?” Rita says “I HANDed that one to you on a silver platter.” He says, “Too bad I’m locked in here and you can’t get in, looks like I have the upper HAND.” At which point the hand see’s a big enough hole, bends it’s thumb backwards like double jointed people, and shimmies its way in. This time the hand is doing flips and matrix style stuff, before landing a bunch of punches. The boss manages to shoot the hand and the fingers come flying off. “Looks like you’ve got blood on your HAND!” At which point all of the fingers come to life on their own, the boss tries but can’t stop them all, the fingers jump down his throat and end up pushing out from inside his stomach. Rita finally gets into the room and sees the hand in pieces, she sit’s down next to it and says “now you’ve done it, you’ve got blood on your hand” and starts to laugh hysterically as the sound and flashing lights of sirens show up in the background.


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One thought on “Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: The Slow Creeping Hand of Death

  1. peter says:

    I finally got around to reading this. This is incredible. Best of VOL2 so far.

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