I’m watching Resident Evil 4 getting ready for the new one and came up with this movies real quick. Enjoy.
Dronez
It’s the near future. The biggest sport in the world is drone racing. Pilots wear virtual reality goggles and fly drones through obstacles at breakneck speeds. Chuck is the most popular pilot, he has a ton of endorsements and a supermodel wife.
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Tig’s gave me a couple titles this week and I honestly wasn’t feeling them. No fault of his own, more of a me thing as I write this after grading midterms. This one seemed the most joke title, but by god I’m actually going to try and do this seriously. This is written with the bare minimum of research.
Jerky Men
A young boy dressed up as Robin (the boy wonder) stands next to his father at a small comic/entertainment convention. His father seems occupied standing in a line and he wanders off. He looks around in awe at a lot of cool booths before finding a older sad looking man sitting in front of a sign that says “Johnny Brennan of the Jerky Boys”
Friday! Which means it’s time for fake movies! This weeks title is from Pete, because Alex didn’t get a title at the show last week. I’ll be honest about three minutes into this I had no idea where to go, soooo ENJOY!
The Hidden Wall
We open on Jim and Kate, along with their children Katherine and JJ (Jim Jr) packing up their apartment in the city. The children are reluctant to leave, as all of their friends are nearby but their parents tell them they’ll still see them and they’ll still be going to the same schools, but they need to move out of the apartment and into a house that is big enough for the four of them.
I’ve been on a cyberpunk kick recently and figured we haven’t had any movies in the genre in a while but at least we can have a fake movie:
Cyberbaron
Act 1
We are in first person perspective. It’s a Bladerunneresque world. Our hero is walking through a crowded street filled with neon and smoke. There are street vendors selling Chinese noodles. As one of the venders offers up a bowl, there is a technical readout. It shows the approximate mass, composition, calories and pricing information. A man steps out of the crowd and confronts the camera. In another readout we see his nickname is Needles and he is owed 47000 credits.
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Got the suggestion from an audience member at the show last night, which also happened to be one of Pete’s characters in the show last night. This… does not have anything to do with that character
Pockets
We open on a fresh crime scene, the crime scene photographers are there taking pictures of a mutilated body in the middle of a small apartment. Detective Biggs and Detective Palmer come onto the scene and scan the area, then both go over to the body.
“Same M.O. as the rest, Biggs?”
“The exact same. Nothing major missing from the home, the victims wallet and personal effects are all here. But every pocket in the place has been ripped off and taken.”
I deactivated my facebook last night so the readership of this website is going to drop GREATLY. Pig Pile was last night and I got this title from Ashley. It’s a period piece but I don’t feel like figuring out what period it belongs in.
Millstone
The movie open on a black screen that displays the following, pausing before revealing the second definition.
mill-stone
/’mil, stōn/
noun
1. each of two circular stones for grinding grain
2. a heavy and escapable responsibility
I’ve been watching a lot of the great CNN show ‘the Eighties’. It inspired this fun fake movie:
Nerd Mom
It’s Saturday morning in 1985 and Tammy is trying to wake her children up. She starts with her youngest, Ruth a 9 year old tomboy. Ruth asks for 5 more minutes but Tammy reminds her that her father is picking them up. She jumps out of bed. Next is Ben, 15. His room is filled with metal posters and you can just smell the weed. He is sleeping half off his bed and he doesn’t respond when Tammy yells at him to get up. It’s only when after she physically shakes him that he stirs. She whispers “it’s your dad’s weekend, remember” and he violently tries to get up but ends up sliding to the ground. Finally it’s Anna, 17. Tammy finds the door locked and starts to bang. We see inside the room which is covered in Blondie posters. Anna is crawling through the window, hears the banging says “shit” and quickly puts on a bathrobe messes up her hair so it looks like she just got up and opens the door. “We will have a talk about you locking your door when you get back from your father’s” “Dad!” Anna exclaims and starts to get ready.
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I missed last week, but I decided to make my triumphant return with a title from Peter. This one isn’t very funny, like most of mine… I imagine it as a tear jerker anime, like the movie that shall not be named. Also, this FMF is far too long to read. Enjoy!
Magic in the Clouds
Joshua is a 12 year old boy living in the small town of Summerville with his mother, Anna, and grandparents. Winter comes, but never stays very long and Joshua wants to go ice skating at a small lake near their house. His mother and grandparents aren’t too keen on the idea but Joshua convinces them. After a very lovely ice skating session the ice beneath him starts to crack and as he is skating falls through the ice. Anna rushes over and dives into the lake, unlaces Joshua’s skates and pushes him up through the ice. The grandparents pull them out and rush them back to their house near a fire.
Guess who started sending themselves Google alerts that it is Friday? That’s right, it’s me. Read my lips, no more Saturday movies! Title from Tigs, the great and powerful.
End of the Line
So last week I celebrated two weeks in a row of remembering to write something. Eating my words currently. Title from Tigs! Here we go!
Money Changes Nothing