Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: One Leg at a Time

I just watched Sausage Party on my birthday and I got to thinking about what other objects were left to be anthropomorphized in film. I came up with this:

One Leg at a Time

We open in a bedroom. It’s dark. We hear disembodied voices. There is a conversation about who he is going to be picked on today. There is a strong voice “Red, I bet you anything it’s Red Shirt today.” A softer voice answers “Oh pipe down Gene, just because you get picked almost every day, that doesn’t mean you know everything” Gene (Randall Park) begins to answer when an alarm goes off. A figure gets out of bed and puts on fuzzy slippers. We only ever see him from the neck down. He gets ready and puts on a pair of well worn jeans and a red tee shirt.

As soon as he leaves the room, the voices begin again. “I don’t mean to gloat, but did I call it or did I call it?” The dresser and closet open. We see that the clothes are moving by themselves. Gene, the well worn jeans (of course) stands up.

We are introduced to the colorful characters. There are a pair of sweatpants (Ron Funches), an old pair of tennis shoes (there is both a sole/soul and a tongue pun). Finally we meet a button up shirt (Zac Efron). He seems very full of himself but everyone makes fun of him because he is never picked.

The figure returns and changes into the sweatpants. It seems like this is routine. There is a quick montage where the figure (still never showing his face) wakes up gets dressed, comes back and changes into sweatpants, it ends suddenly with the figure choosing the button up shirt instead of the sweatpants.

There is much commotion in the wardrobe as the figure slowly begins adding nicer clothing. There is some friction as the new clothes are stuck up and preppy. Things seem to be getting better when suddenly a pair of woman’s jeans (Naomie Harris) appear.

There is pandamonium. She is immediately rejected by all the other clothes. They banish her to the other end of the room. Gene is clearly into her and meets with her in secret.

Slowly more and more woman clothes begin to appear. Things come to a head and war breaks out. A bra is used as a sling shot to send socks flying to the other side of the room. Shoes are ridden like horses. Things are getting serious.

In slow-mo Gene and the female pants walk arm and arm (leg and leg) right between the two warring sides. Their love manages to stop the war.

It’s a new day and the woman’s clothes become completely integrated into the society.

It feels like we are about to go to credits but suddenly a baby onesie crawls into the room and everyone freaks out.

The End.