Ok it’s obvious I have no ideas anymore and this one is the worst one yet. It just kind of goes no where and is horribly offensive to Canadians. It is pretty short though. That being said, let’s get this OVER with.
Infinite Trouble (randomly generated title thanks to: http://phrasegenerator.com/actionmovies)
Gordon (played by Jay Baruchel) is a recluse, mathematician and Canadian who has just written an equation that can produce infinitely long prime numbers.
The people at MultiCorp want this equation and will do anything to get it, including sending out special agents Boyer (played by Gerard Butler or if he’s not available Hank Azaria) and Thompson (played by Gina Carano) to kill Gordo and take it from him. As Gordo sits in his favorite bar at the Maple Sap Lodge the two arrive, and ask him for it. He declines and they are forceful. Gordo continues to refuse and starts to run out. Boyer and Thompson pull out uzis and start firing. Gordo sees everything in slow motion, he is able to preict the speed and trajectory of the bullets and dodges them all jumping to the ground. He sees a hockey stick, picks it up and starts taking slap shots of plates, glasses other paraffinelia laying around. B&T hit the ground and Gordo runs. B&T follow closely behind and start to open fire again. With his back turned to them he doesn’t see the danger immediately, luckily he is saved by ex cop, ex via, ex marine Johnny Hardcore (played by Alexander Skarsgård). JH gets Gordo to safety. They get in a car and drive. JH explains to Gordo what is going on, Gordo asks if his real last name is Hardcore, JH then explains he was changed when he went over seas to fight in Afghanistan, and when he came back he legally changed his name.
They drive to the border and when they attempt to cross Gordo pretends he’s American and talks about reality TV, and shit like The Real Housewives. They let him in immediately and drive off to buffalo. When B&T hit the border they shoot the border guard and keep going. Gordo and JH see B&T, Gordo figures out that it was statistically impossible for them to follow them exactly to where they were and that the car has a transmitter. There is some big car chase.
Other shit happens, think Eraser meets Pi for a while until it all culminates at a Buffalo Sabers vs Toronto Maple Leafs game, where Gordo and JH tell B&T they would be to give them the formula so they’d leave them alone and a public place to draw out the agents and keep themselves safe. Gordo, being a huge Leafs fan, is enthralled by the game as JH keeps watch. B&T show up, there is a struggle, Gordo never planned to give up the equation, they then take JH down, he’s hurt but not out, with a gun shot. This causes the game to stop. This pissed Gordo off. He starts by throwing poutine at them, blinding them with deliciousness and eye burning, he rips off his shirt revealing a lumber jacks flannel shirt underneath, he squirts maple syrup at them and they stick together and cannot move, (this is getting far too stupid and horribly prejudice), and he walks over to them. They say something like “We could have made you rich and powerful” to which Gordo responds “It was never aboot the money. It’s aboot the math, that’s what you guys don’t get, eh.” JH stands up, comes over and shoots them both. Gordo says, “I guess it’s over now, eh?” JH responds, “It won’t be over until all of MultiCorp is taken down.” Gordo says, “Well then what are we waiting for? Let’s get going, eh? And could we stop at a Tim Hortons on the way? I could really go for some Timbits.” The two walk out of the arena…TO BE CONTINUED.