Author Archives: johnnytigs

Movie Movie Podcast #43: The is the Pussy Riot of Steel: The Story of Wikileaks

Will we get to heaven? I kind of doubt it. Well Alex might, but that’s only because of the amount of shit he puts up with from us. The other three of us, no chance. No chance at all. Don’t worry though, Pete, Russ and I will keep podcasting through the end of times, I can guarantee you that. What else are we gonna do? Join Russ, Alex (for now), Pete and myself as we wax theological with This is the End, rebel against Putin with Pussy Riot: A Punk Prayer, listen to Alex talk about We Steal Secrets: The Story of Wikileaks, and bitch bitch bitch about Man of Steel. Recorded on June 19th 2013.

Movie Movie Podcast #42: The/Internship/Purge/About/Nothing 2

Well this one is a little awkward. We’re all over the place this week, and there are a lot of single person reviews. Sort of a new direction we’re trying. Remember how everyone liked new coke jokes? Then they got old and no one knows what new coke is anymore? It’s kind of like that. Join Peter, Alex, Russ and myself as we expel our anger with The Purge, explore the found footage of found footage horror movies with V/H/S 2, google ourselves with The Internship, and class it up a notch with Much a Do About Nothing. Recorded on June 13th 2013.

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Movie Movie Podcast #41: After You See Earth

I thought we were going to stop doing this to ourselves, but alas here we are. Join Russ, Alex, Peter and myself as we practice our slight of hand with Now You See Me and learn that fear is a choice with After Earth. Recorded on June 4th 2013.

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Movie Movie Podcast #40: Furious Trek 6: Midnight Ha

Here it is! The one you’ve been waiting for! Well, the one we’ve been waiting for. Even though Alex didn’t like it as much. What a jerk. Join Alex, Russ, Pete and myself as we gush over Fast and Furious 6, have a light hearted look at Star Trek: Into Darkness, and take a brief respite to talk about Before Midnight and Frances Ha. Recorded on May 29th 2013.

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Fake Movie Friday: The Picnic Table

I haven’t written one in a while, but I asked for a suggestion last night at the show and I’ll be damned if I let this one slip by too! I won’t lie, this ENTIRE movie is a rip of. A retelling if you will. Sort of. Just not as good because it’s me. With that I give you:

The Picnic Table

There is a school official speaking to two parents. She, Mrs Appleby, is the head of a near by all female boarding school in South Dakota and is telling the parents not to worry. Their daughter, Sara, has been in trouble a lot recently at her public school and this is the best way to go. That Joan Lindsay Boarding School is the best in the country, their graduates go on to do great things and to trust her. The conversation is being interspersed with shots of Sara in her room packing. She thinks about jumping out the windows and running away but sees the school van outside with a driver still there. She has to leave everything that can be used to contact anyone else behind, her computer, phone, the only thing electronic she can take with her is her watch. Everything else will be provided for her. Sara comes down the stairs with a suitcase, looks at her parents who get up to come and say goodbye to her, but Sara just walks out the door. Mrs Appleby follows her and they ride in the school van to a remote boarding school, surrounded by beautiful nothingness.

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Movie Movie Podcast #39: Iron Gatsby

Holy calamity! We have a LIVE IMPROV show at LIC’s The Creek and the Cave in an hour! So what am I doing here? Well getting you the latest hotness from us, the Movie Movie Podcast crew! Join Alex, Russ, Peter and myself as we toss our shirts at The Great Gatsby and play detective with Iron Man 3. Recorded on May 14th 2013.

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Movie Movie Podcast #38: Pain & Oblivion

The summer movie season is finally upon us! In spring! Long lines, long movies and lots to bitch about!  Join Peter, Alex, Russ and myself as we dig deeper into Oblivion and get down and dirty with Pain and Gain. Recorded on May 1 2013.

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Fake Movie Sabbatical

I can say that I’ve thought about some movies and I even got a bunch of suggestions from Colm today:
Drummer Boi (wrote part of it. I didn’t think I should keep writing)
The Elegant Elephant (this almost became tonight’s ghost and darkness rip off)
Tip Tow
The Hallway
The Creeping
The Unhinged
Down the Creak
Fed Up
FBEyewitness

But I’m still insanely sick, over tired, in Chicago and pissed off at the Knicks. So I’m taking this week off. The crown is yours, Pete. Wear it well.

Fake Movie Friday: Werner Herzog and the Time He Saved the Universe

It’s almost 10, I’m just leaving work, sitting on the train, writing FMF #52. I got a few title suggestions today, but the one I have to go with is (one of) Colm’s (sorry Lisa), who also helped me flush out some of the story. I give you:

Werner Herzog and the Time He Saved the Universe

We open on the BBC interview Werner Herzog gave in 2006, during which he was shot, but continued the interview as if nothing happened. He jokes about it in the interview, and regards the whole thing as insignificant. He lifts up his shirt to show the bullet hole and the camera goes straight into the hole, eventually stopping at the bullet, which is actually a shrunken alien drone ship. The ship starts to open up and takes hold of Herzog’s nervous system. At this point Herzog is home and a blank, drooling stare washes across his face. The drone takes control of Herzog’s mind and starts to talk to him, sounding strangely like the female voice that speaks the directions in most GPS’.

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Fake Movie Friday: Kentucky Time Wedding

I’m going to be honest here, I can’t exactly remember the name of the fake movie title I received as a suggestion at the show last night. I think this is it, but I’m not totally sure. I’m pretty sure Kentucky was in the title. And Wedding. Thanks to improv troupe Florence for the suggestion and sorry that I got drunk and forgot it. This a 52nd consecutive FMF for both Pete and myself… 1 year strong … Congrats Pete. Here’s to 52 weeks of terrible ideas, worse movies, great titles and no proof reading!

Kentucky Time Wedding

1980’s. Jacob owns a watch shop in Horse Cave, Kentucky. It’s been in his family for generations, owned by his father before him, his fathers father before that and his fathers fathers father before that. Kentucky Time is the name of the shop. Jacob had to take over working at the shop after his father passed and supports his mother. He spends almost all of his time at the shop and hasn’t had a girlfriend in years, since his fiance, Emily, died in a horrible auto accident that also took his fathers life.

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