Fake Movie Friday: Burger Time

Here’s my film. It’s an adaptation of the videogame Burger Time . Check the link if you’ve never heard of it. It’s really not important. There’s only one scene of food attacking. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JVTssi7FLd0

Burger Time

The film opens at a burger place called “Burger Time”. It’s a quick montage to show how busy and popular the place is. Every loves Big John (played by Brian Dennehey) who has owned the place for 30 years and still runs the fryer. On the wall are pictures of Big John standing next to abandon McDonalds, Burger Kings, and Wendys that have all tried to take his business. Big John dies of a heart attack. Everyone looks sad and someone says, “We need to call his son.”

Cut to a Chuck E. Cheese type place. We see a similar montage but everything is terrible for our main character played by Jay Baruchel. The kids hate him. He gets puked on, pizza thrown at him, and hit on by gross old drunken moms. Someone walks in and calls him Little John. He corrects them and says something vaguely mean about his dad and not wanting to be called that. They tell him his dad is dead.

John is distraught. He goes to his dad’s office. He looks at a picture on the wall of his family. Says something sentimental and puts his hand on the wall under the picture. John goes and upon placing his hand under the picture of his family the wall opens up revealing a stairwell.

Downstairs is like the bat cave. A screen comes on and it’s his dad again. “Hello, John. Time for you to know the truth. We come from a grand line of burger makers. We made burgers for all the great leaders of the world.” We see a bunch of photos of people who look like him serving burgers to Pharaohs, Genghis Khan, King Arthur, Napoleon, JFK, etc. “You need to carry on this grand tradition. This is important work we do. There is magic in our burgers. The world may not know how much they need us but you must be there for them.”

John is all very dismissive of it. As he walks away, his dad’s parting words are “Be careful son. There are people who wish to stop what we do. Dangerous wizards of old who want to control the world for evil!” Josh laughs it off and on his way out there is a raven atop the restaurant. The raven flies off to a great mansion and we meet our bad guy named Mr. Chaossidy, played by Russell Brand. This is a constant joke about people pronouncing his name Cassidy and him yelling CHAOSsidy, or the other way around. It doesn’t matter. What follows is an incredible obnoxious scene where we find out his motivations and he probably dances. It’s really dumb. He vows to stop John.

John starts running “Burger Time”, but things don’t go well. He screws up and strange things start happening. With the people unhappy with their burgers, the weather turns for the worst and the town starts to fall about. There are fires, tornados, technology starts breaking down, and wild animals running around the streets. John starts to believe his dad.

Chaossidy approaches John to buy the place from him. He thinks about it but this girl who he likes who we’ve barely met just talked to him about responsibility and stuff, so he says no (The love interest is played by Alice Eve). Things begin to get a bit better and the girl starts to respect John

This all of course angers Chaossidy, so in disguise he delivers a shipment of enchanted food that ruins things at “Burger Time”. The girl gets mad at John for screwing up and he is close to giving in and selling.

Then for some reason Chaossidy kidnaps the girl. John has to fight off the magic food (finally yet vaguely like the videogame) and save her. They defeat Chaossidy and work at “Burger Time” together. The town gets better and he lets people call him Little John. We see pictures them serving burgers to Obama, the Queen, and the cast of the ‘Jersey Shore’ (it’s a visual gag, like they are just as important. Idiots will love it)

The End

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2 thoughts on “Fake Movie Friday: Burger Time

  1. russ says:

    ugh. this movie makes me want to kill myself in the best/worst way. i love it

  2. johnnytigs says:

    So the drinking game to this movie is take a shot whenever Russel Brand has to correct someone about his name, whenever Jay is called Little John, and whenever someone does not like their burger. Also reading “John” so often in this movie really spoke to me. Although changing the name of the main character from Peter Pepper…I dunno…

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