Fake Movie Friday: Pants on Fire

So I’m sitting at the table eating pizza in my underpants, fan blowing directly into my crotch, and I realize: IT’S FAKE MOVIE FRIDAY! So here I go once again writing the intro before I actually know what the hell I’m going to do. I bothered Megan McShane until she gave me this title, then immediately apologized.

Pants on Fire

Movie opens in flashback, and we see a pants factory in the 70s. The people, looking real 70s are producing pants as the camera pans around them. It then comes up off the floor and into the office overlooking it. A man talks to his three kids about the importance of the factory. How it helps the town and how factories like this make America the best country in the world. One son and daughter don’t seem to care as another listens intently.

Cut to 30 years later as that one son Dwayne now manages the factory. He clearly still holds his father’s ideals. We see all the employees love him as he heads to his office. There he finds his older brother and sister, Lyle. Lyle is there to ask him for money, again. Dwayne being the good guy he is agrees and helps Lyle out with the newest get rich quick scheme he has cooked up.

Heading home he stops by his older sister, Cheryl’s house. She is now the mother of four. She married a rich man and hardly cares about her kids. She has an awful fake tan and makes overt hints to sleeping with her tennis instructor. Dwayne’s nieces and nephew like him a great deal but are clearly wary around their own mother. He visits for a bit then heads home.

He lives in a modest house alone. He sits down to a dinner he cooked himself and calls his father, who is in assisted living. His father tells him he doesn’t have to check in on him every single day but he is glad to hear any news about the factory. They talk and we fade out.

We come back in next day and Dwayne is stopped after pulling into a normal parking spot in the factories lot. His father has died. We quickly move through the wake, funeral, and such. At the will reading it turns out that their father hasn’t updated his will in decades and leaves the factory to all 3 of his children. They are all shocked, most of all Dwayne.

His brother attempts all sorts of crazy schemes to make more money for the factory while his sister takes vacations on company dime. Dwayne is forced to fire some of the employees, being the only one around to actually do any of the work.

This continues and Dwayne starts going nuts. Lyle tries a few different things and him and his sister end up burning the factory to the ground. As the fire rages, Dwayne makes a passionate speech to his family and the employees. Lyle and Cheryl don’t care because of the insurance money they stand to receive. Dwayne stands there alone the next day.

Alone he takes his share and starts rebuilding alone. The entire town who depends on the jobs of the pant factory rallies around him and chip in. They rebuild it together once again with just Dwayne in charge.

The End.