Tag Archives: leslie mann

Fake Movie Friday – Snack Friday

Sorry this is late, but whatever.  Trapped in the Closet came on last night.

Snack Friday is about an extremely unhealthy father named Ted who works for a megalomaniacal snack cake company.  His daughters hate that he works for them because it’s bad food and he’s really fat (think Jim Carrey in a fatsuit).  The night of thanksgiving while the entire family is eating Ted gets a call from his boss and leaves the table.  This upsets everyone cause business is more important than family.  Anyway his boss tells him that if he doesn’t find a way to sell off all of the remaining snack cake stock before it goes bad, they’ll post a loss and he’ll be fired.  His boss tells him like 3 locations, in california, none close that all the snack cakes will have to be delivered.  His kids hear this are sad because he promised them he’d go shopping for Black Friday with them, so he decides to do both.  The Eye of the Tiger plays as fat suit Ted puts on a sweatsuit, plots out a route and gets in the car with his kids.

Over the next 45 mins or so, we see that not only is Ted bonding with his kids, but he’s also losing weight.  The speed by which he’s going to stores and shit with his kids is inexplicably helping him lose weight crazy fast in a day.  Before the trip started he promised his kids he’d only eat healthy stuff.  The only thing that’s really changed is he isn’t eating GloboCakes snacks anymore.  He starts to realize that it’s the snack cakes that have always made him fat and irritable and absent as a father, but he’s still selling them to other stores.  His kids tell him it’s wrong, but he tells them sometimes for a job you have to do things you don’t like.

Anyway before the last store, his evil boss, Sterns, (Giamatti type actor) tells him that if he doesn’t get the GloboCakes to San Francisco by 5pm, he might have to fire him.  Ted says he can do it, but on the way there with his kids who look like they are disapppointed in him even though hes starting to look better, tell him if he does it he’ll just go back to being their same old dad who’s never there or cares, unlike the dad they’ve had a great roadtrip with or something.  Right as they are getting on the goldengate bridge, he decides to turn around and go home.  Sterns calls firing him, and Ted says, no I’m firing you and laughs hanging up.  Ted’s wife, Laura, played by a Leslie Mann type sees Ted pulling in the driveway and is shocked to see he’s not fat anymore.  He looks like he did in their wedding photo.

A few months later Ted is now a salesman for a healthy food company and looks great and his kids love him and this is over.

5 mins! This took me 5 mins to write.  HOLLYWOOD COME AT ME!

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#whitepeopleproblems the movie

I’m sorry Judd Apatow, but I just think its WAY too soon to be rebooting Dan In Real Life:

The things that annoy me about this trailer:

1) People laughed in the theater like fifty eleven times, even though nothing was funny.

2) We Are Young is the song in the trailer even though it should have been Solsbury Hill.  Don’t believe me?  Just rewatch that trailer on mute and play this youtube clip of Solsbury Hill.


If you don’t immediately feel transported to Connecticut something is wrong with you

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