Fake Movie Friday – Cherry Goo Goo

I’m going to out crazy Ashley and Tigs with this one. I usually think about my fake movie fridays when I’m going to bed. I came up with this one when I was visiting my brother on the west coast, I was jet lagged and had visited a bunch of wineries, so I ended up thinking about stuff and then continued to think about my fake movie in my dream. So basically this is a drunken dream.

Cherry Goo Goo

We open in space and a flying saucer flies by the camera. The soundtrack has a lot of theremin in it, it is very reminiscent of 50’s B science fiction music. We cut to inside the UFO and there are three 50’s style aliens. The aliens are played by Tim Heidecker, Kristen Schaal and Chris Pratt. The aliens are rendered in very bad CG. One of the aliens is doing some type of weird experiments. The other two tease the scientist alien (let’s say Tim Heidecker and call him Tim) because he is obsessed with Earth cows, and only wants to abduct them. Tim says that they can make fun of him all they want, but he has created something that will finally get them the respect they deserve.

Tim explains that he has created a device that can read the thoughts of every human being on the planet. The device will take a snapshot of all the thoughts at one moment in time. He has rigged it so that they will find out who the most popular person on earth is by figuring out the person that the most people are thinking about.

After some bad CG particle effects, the device comes back with an answer- Cherry Goo Goo. Cherry is pretty much Honey Boo Boo, she is played by an unknown child actor who does a great job, but her career never takes off, and she becomes a fixture in the tabloids. The aliens decide to kidnap her to really mess with the humans to to get respect of the other aliens on their homeworld.

The aliens transport to the southern United States. They transform into human forms so they can blend in. Tim has miscalculated and they are much further from Cherry’s home than he had planned. That of course mean it’s time for a road trip. They steal an RV from a family and begin their adventures.

There is a lot of “comedy” about how the aliens don’t understand human culture-they don’t get how forks work! The tone is really weird, it seems like this should be a kids movie, but there is strange gross-out humor (a lot of anal prob jokes) and the movie ends up being rated PG-13, so there is no audience for it.

After their long road trip they are get to the town Cherry lives in. When they are at a diner they have a run-in with a group of rednecks (the last of many). The Alien played by Chris Pratt (let’s call him Chris) is a strong headed one and ends up getting beaten up by the rednecks. The other aliens don’t know how to help him so they put him the in RV and hightail it out of there.

They are driving recklessly and end up crashing. Of course they crash right in front of Cherry’s house. Cherry’s family are strange, but they end up being really nice. They help nurse Chris back to health.

When Chris is feeling better, they aliens talk about how guilty they feel that they were going to kidnap Cherry. Chris disagrees and says they should still go through with the plan, he doesn’t want to keep being an outcast on the homeworld. He is outvoted, but later on at night he kidnaps her on his own.

There is a long sequence of Tim and Kristen (the other alien) tracking Chris down. Tim is the only one of them that has the technology to transport them back to the ship. This sequence is intercut with news reports talking about the kidnapping about people’s responses to it. The people in the “man on the street” interviews are all really cruel, talking about how they had watched the show, but Cherry was a terrible person and she probably got what was coming to her, or that it was probably a publicity stunt.

The other aliens finally find Chris. Chris says how he just wants to be considered important and be respected by his species. Tim gives a long speech about how fickle fame is, about how the public at large can have very low opinions of even those they all know about. The only real way to be happy is internally, don’t let your self worth be dictated by how others see you.

This speech has the desired effect and he let’s Cherry go. Tim immediately teleports them all onto the ship (including Cherry).

Teleporting Cherry was an accident, and they all apologize and then explains who they are and then show her who they really are (bad CG creatures). To make it up to her they say they will give her what humans find valuable but is very abundant on their planet. They say that she will find it in the RV in front of her house, but that the lessons she taught them were worth much more than they could give to her. She hugs them all and they teleport her back to Earth.

After being united with her family she goes to explore the RV. It is completely filled with gold. The credits begin, and next to the credit scroll we see scenes from the latest season of Cherry Goo Goo, it is like the Beverly Hillbillies, the father has trucknuts on his Bentley, they order Big Macs at an expensive French restaurant, they try to enter their pot belly pig at the Westminster Dog Show etc. The End

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