Fake Movie Friday: Lethal Weapon 5

No introduction needed. I’m going for the gold today. I present to you-

Lethal Weapon 5

Alarm bells ring outside of a bank. Three hooded men run out and are picked up by a “fast & furious” style streetcar and it races away. We cut to Martin Fucking Riggs and Roger Fucking Murtaugh sitting in their car. Murtaugh takes out an Ensure and they have a classic convo about being to old for this shit. The streetcar races by and they are off on the chase. Riggs makes fun of the “Barbie’s dream car” they are chasing. After a lengthy chase they take the robbers down.

In the car they find a flash drive, they have a silly conversation about what its actually is Lee Butters (Chris Rock) walks up and sets them straight. Butters has been promoted above them because even at their old age they are still loose cannons! Back at Riggs’ place they open the drive and it is just filled with numbers that look like bookkeeping. Leo Getz (Pesci) comes out of the kitchen in an apron and jokes about how hot Giada De Laurentiis is. He takes a look at the numbers and starts yelling about how they fuck you with the electronic bookkeeping. Riggs’ son Marty Jr comes up and explains it is code. Another hilarious conversation about how old they are follows. Riggs is proud of his genius son, Murtaugh says it comes from his mother’s side. Marty gets an address from the data.

Riggs and Murtaugh drive up to an Internet café. They look really out of place and Murtaugh distracts the young woman who works there while Riggs looks around. He finds a basement and hears men talking. Riggs is stopped by WWE’s Batista and is thrown into a wall. Joseph Gordon-Levitt comes up and is clearly the man in charge. He looks through Riggs wallet and knows he is a cop. Riggs and Murtaugh are kicked out.

Riggs goes home to ice his bruises. Lorna Cole (Rene Russo) helps him out and they talk. Riggs says he doesn’t want Marty to see him like this. That his son is smarter than him and he doesn’t want him in this violent life, he should be studying. Lorna tries to tell him he is tougher than that. We see Marty Jr. at the top of the stairs listening.

Riggs wakes up and goes to the bank where they tell him is account is over drawn. His money is gone. Other electronic failures keep happening to the duo and they follow Batista’s unnamed character to a warehouse. Where they see what is really going on. Levitt and his crew are setting up dummy bank heists to cover up their computer crime.

They bust in and mess things up, but Levitt and Batista get away. Upon returning home he finds Lorna on the floor knocked out. She explains they took Marty Jr. Riggs and Murtaugh drive off after them to the airport or something. Huge gunfight for some reason Levitt has hired all these goons. Riggs and Murtaugh have a brawl with Batista who is finally beaten. Levitt stands holding a gun to Marty’s head. They back off before Marty Jr. does some kung-fu shit and takes the gun from him. He punches him in the face, knocking him out saying “that’s for my mom.” Riggs asks him where he learned to fight and he says “Mom. “

Blah blah blah ending.

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One thought on “Fake Movie Friday: Lethal Weapon 5

  1. Dunn says:

    Let’s take a movie franchise from the 80’s and update it for today by adding computers… it worked for Live Free or Die Hard

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