Fake Movie Friday: Who Let You Touch Pamela Anderson?

So I completely forgot the title the Goggins’ gave at Pig Pile last night. I asked him and he wasn’t even sure of the actual wording so we settled on this. Here we go!

Who Let You Touch Pamela Anderson?

Movie begins with our main character, Brad, sitting in an interrogation room. He’s handcuffed to a desk looking scared. A detective enters the room sits down on the other side of the table. He flips through a file and sips his coffee. Brad looks uncomfortable in the silence. The detective closes the files and looks up and asks “Who let you touch Pamela Anderson?”

We cut to a few months earlier and its 1994 by the way. Brad sits in his room watching a taped episode of Baywatch. Actually just a montage of slow scene of Pam running up and down the beach that he taped from different episodes. He turns to the computer to check the progress of a nude picture of her that is still loading. His mother catches him. He tries to hide it and they talk about his plans to move to California after he graduates High School. She is upset that he doesn’t have a plan but he ignores her only thinking about going out to find Pamela.

We jump cut to him stepping off the bus in LA. He gets a crappy hotel room and is off to find work and see the area. He ends up meeting a shady looking guy. The man tells him that he cleans the homes of celebrities and is looking for an assistant. They start working together and their are a lot of fun cameos. They clean the houses of 90s celebs like Tim Allen.

He starts to like his job and though he has had no luck in meeting Pam Anderson. He’s visited the set of Baywatch but has only repeatedly met David Hasslehoff. He goes on his job to clean the next house and isn’t really paying attention as Pam Anderson walks behind him. He turns to corner and finds a huge painting of her. His boss tells him that its her and Tommy Lees house. He is in awe. He continues to clean and snoops a bit. He turns a corner and walks straight into a nude Pamela Anderson, his hands somehow landing on her breasts. She screams. He back downstairs.

He grabs his backpack, which is open (IMPORTANT). He hears a gun cock behind him and sees Tommy Lee. He dodges out the way but falls into a rack of VHS tapes. He picks up his bag and runs away. The rest of the movie is a series of escalating events as he flees from an angry Tommy Lee. The police get involved as he continues to tear threw a ton of 90s pop culture references, even crossing paths with OJs white Bronco chase  (June 1994).He is arrested at one point, the police actually saving him from Tommy.

We are back at the interrogation. The officers are a bit more interested in the fact that he touched her. They joke about it a bit and Pam calls explaining it is a mistake. They bumped into each other and Tommy over reacted. He heads back home to get his stuff. He runs into his boss and they laugh about what happened. He takes his Baywatch tape out of his bag and gives it to his boss saying he doesn’t need it anymore. He leaves.

Later that night his boss pops on the tape. We cut back to him running from Tommy Lee at the very beginning as he bumped into the VHSs. His tape fell out and another one got picked up. We come back to his boss, discovering the famous sex tape.


The End