Fake Movie Friday Submissions- The Dinosaurs are Extinct and So Is Love

Lisa LoFaso:

The other day Tigs randomly gchatted me asking for ideas for titles of emo songs, and after coming up with a few I came up with this title. I liked it so much I decided to make it a movie. But the movie’s not emo at all, it’s pretty fun. So here goes:

The Dinosaurs are Extinct and So Is Love

The movie opens with some shots of dinosaurs. It’s prehistoric times, and there is a tribe of cavespeople who lives among the dinosaurs. It’s a very gender-traditional community, with the men doing most of the hunting and the women doing all of the gathering and child care. They have a pretty extensive network of caves, with some tunnels connecting them that the men have spent years carving out so they can easily escape dinosaurs in a pinch. The caves are pretty well stocked with food and animal hides and stuff, and the tribe is flourishing.

One day as the tribe is sitting outside around the fire, we hear a roar off in the distance. Everyone gets ready to run to the caves. All of a sudden a woman comes sprinting out of the forest with a t-rex crashing close behind her. They motion for her to follow as they run off to the caves, but as she’s running she trips and the t-rex starts catching up. Just as he’s about to chomp her face off, a guy grabs her and they run off, just missing getting eaten. They dive into a cave and sit panting for a minute, realizing they’re both alive and fine. They look up at each other and freeze, sparks fly. She thanks him and introduces herself, they both smile shyly. She explains that she was separated from her tribe a while back, and he offers for her to stay with them. He’s a leader of the group and she agrees to stay. The guy is obviously happy, and they smile at each other and nervously look away. They’re sitting next to each other and eventually she falls asleep with her head on his shoulder.

In the morning they wake up and go to rejoin the others. The men get ready to go off, and the guy explains that she’ll stay here with the woman. She’s super confused, since In her old tribe everyone pitched in however they wanted and she was an excellent hunter. The guy makes a joke about a woman’s place and the confusion and anger shows on her face. She settles in for the time being but she’s annoyed that she’s been limited to gathering. She gets along with the women, but eventually she becomes antsy for adventure. The women are intrigued by her stories because they never even thought about it.

Later on they talk to their husbands, and most of them are cool with the idea of dividing responsibilities up differently until the leader guy shoots it down. The new woman is pretty pissed at his arrogance, and shuts down his advances later on since he doesn’t respect her as a hunter. Eventually she convinces the women that they should learn how to hunt, and they go off in a group alone while the men are off hunting. On their way back, there’s a raptor attack and they all have to retreat to the caves. The men, who realized that the woman weren’t at home and had started to go out looking for them, take cover too in the opposite side of the cave network. As they’re all diving into the caves to escape the raptors, there’s a streak of bright light across the sky and all of a sudden, a meteorite strikes the earth.

Since all of the people had moved deep into the caves, the two separate bands survived the impact. However, part of the underground path has collapsed and the two groups are separated. It’s not safe to go out yet, and they remain forced underground for months until the dust settles. They have enough provisions to get by, but it’s tough. Finally the women emerge from the cave, dirty and ragged, but alive. Most of the plants and animals are gone, the dinosaurs are all extinct, and much of the ground is covered in ash. They set to gathering what little they can, the new woman teaches the rest to hunt, and slowly they start rebuilding their little community. There’s no trace of the men for ages, and the women start giving up hope that they’ll ever see them again.

One day the women are all in hunting position, and the new woman has a rabbit in her sights. As she pulls back her bow to shoot, the rabbit falls over with another arrow in its side. The rest of the women behind her stand up, confused as none of them shot it. The guy leader emerges from the trees, with most of the other men behind him. The pair lock eyes, surprised and wary. They hold their gaze for a minute, and then both shake their heads, smiling.


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One thought on “Fake Movie Friday Submissions- The Dinosaurs are Extinct and So Is Love

  1. johnnytigs says:

    I feel proud that I was there for the conception of this title! Loved it all, just wait for the song!

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