Fake Movie Friday- Valentine’s Day Massacre

Day off y’all! Miss Caity Roarke had a birthday this week and I graciously gave her naming duties for this week’s film. She really knocked it out of the park in terms of originality (EYE ROLL). This film has the best opening scene I’ve ever written.

Valentine’s Day Massacre

Movie opens with 2 people fucking.

They are going at it totally hot, and then a dude opens the door and they yell at him to leave. The woman, Grace, yells at her boyfriend, Todd, about his weird roommate Terrance. She hates him for being a weirdo. Todd says don’t worry they will be off for Valentine’s Day weekend and away from him soon enough.

Todd is packing and asks Terrance what his plan for the weekend is. Terrance says he’ll probably lie around and play video games. Todd tells him he should get out more. Terrance ignores him.

Todd leaves the apartment and is jumped by Roger. It’s a bit of a jump scare but they are friends. Roger’s bitchy girlfriend yells from the car. Todd makes a face and mentions he can’t wait to spend the weekend with Tiffany. Roger jokes about how the sex makes up for the lack of conversational chemistry between him and Tiffany. He’ll be dumping her after the weekend.

They pick up Grace and head to the cabin. They meet up with Sam and Diane outside (I’m running low on naming power). The six enter the cabin and pick rooms. They all have sex with their respective partners and meet up back in front of the fire that night. Diane is not there, and Sam says he must have tired her out a bit too much. They drink and no one notices how long Diane has been missing. Tiffany goes to open a closet door and Diane’s dead body falls out.

They all freak out. They start pointing fingers and try to figure out who could have done it. Tiffany blames Sam of course and he backs away from the group has everyone starts realizing it had to be him. As he tries to tell them he didn’t it. A crash is heard as an arrow flies through the window and into Sam’s head. It sticks out is eye as he looks at them saying, “What? It wasn’t me!”

He falls over dead and they all run into on of the bedrooms. They shutter the window and huddle on the floor. Tension is broken a bit when Todd realizes he is sitting on Roger’s used condom. He tosses it away as the window explodes inward. They run out as someone is climbing into the room. The assailant who grabs her hair and cuts her throat stops Tiffany. Roger turns and tackles him telling the others to run as he is stabbed in the back.

Grace and Todd run to their car and drive off. Grace is freaking out and Todd tries to calm her down saying they will be fine, they will get to the police. They are rammed by another car and tumble off the road. Todd wakes up tied to a chair back in the cabin. Grace is on the floor in front of him. He screams to her, but she is unresponsive. He prods her with his food to try and stir her and her head rolls away. A figure comes into the room and Todd yells at the mysterious stranger. The man removes his hood to show it is Terrance. Todd asks why he is doing this and Terrance just laughs. He was tired of having all of them flaunt their love in their face. Everyone things they are so much better than him. He approaches Todd and cuts off his ear.

Todd screams that he’s going to kill Terrance. Terrance once again laughs but tackled by a still alive Roger. The two fight as Todd attempt to escape his binds. Roger is over powered by Terrance and is killed, but Todd is free and beats Terrance with a lamp. He stumbles out of the cabin.

Fade out and back in. Todd sits in a mental hospital terrified of everyone around him. A doctor tells him that he is making good progress. Todd says it is Valentine’s Day again and is scared. The doctor says he has nothing to fear. Todd will be released soon and even got some mail. He opens one of the letters. It has a large heart on the front.

He opens it and it reads- Mine never stopped beating. I won’t stop until yours lays still in my hand, Terrance.


4 thoughts on “Fake Movie Friday- Valentine’s Day Massacre

  1. Caity Roarke says:


  2. johnnytigs says:

    I am 100% sure you wrote this just so you could have the line “Movie opens with 2 people fucking” before the “Continue Reading” button on the home page.
    An excellent job as always

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