Fake Movie Friday Vol. 2: Flip It

Going upstate for a mini vacation. Getting this one done before then. I’ve really been slacking.

Flip it

We start with the opening theme song of a reality show circa 2007. The theme song is a play off of Devo’s “Whip It” with the word “whip” replaced with “flip”. Naomi is the star of the show. We see shots of homes before and after their renovations. Naomi talks about how she’s a single mother and how much that helps her to discipline contractors. It cuts to footage of her talking sternly to one of her kids then cuts to her taking the same tone with a roofer. In another cutaway Naomi talks about how she was barely scraping by but saw how much houses started to be sold for on her block and decided to change her career. The final shot is Naomi standing in front of her McMansion holding her littlest with the other three kids standing close by. She says “I’m finally living the American dream” as the camera pulls back.

The rest of the film is shot is if it’s raw footage from the making of an episode of the show. To drive the point home the first scene has Naomi talking about 74 Willow Street, her newest purchase. As she talks about how much other house have been selling for nearby the audio becomes static and someone comes from off stage to fix her mic.

We cut to the location. The place is run down. As she is walking to the back yard she sees an alligator swimming in the in ground swimming pool. She freaks out and runs always. We see a far shot of Naomi talking gravely to what we guess is a producer. “You should have warned me it was there. The fucking camera guy was already back there. I get that it’s better for the show but I’ve been doing this for a long time, I can fake it. I’m just saying I could have been hurt. This was reckless.”

She inspects the rest of the house examining all the issues she will be fixing. There is text on the screen showing the total prices everything will cost and how much she will make as profit.

We cut to Naomi talking with her therapist. She talks about the stress of having so much debt during the time she rehabs the house. She says that with the added stress of raising four children she has trouble sleeping. The therapist asks her to think about ways she can reduce the stress, maybe try a less volatile career. Naomi says this is what she does now, there is no going back.

Back to the flip. Naomi is saying how much the granite countertops brighten up the kitchen and are worth every penny. There is a commotion and the camera man runs over to see what’s happening. One contractors sliced his hand off with a circular saw. There are screaming and everyone is trying to call 911. No one can get service. Naomi runs out followed closely by the cameraman. She starts banging on doors but no one is answering. She is freaking out. She looks into the windows and it seems like no one lives in any of the houses.

She finally runs back, seeing that no one has made a move says “fuck this” and grabs the hand and helps the guy to her truck and drives to the hospital.

The cameras are getting B roll of the hospital. A doctor walks in and is weirded out by the cameras. A producer goes over to him and tells him to be natural and act like they weren’t there. The doctor explains that because of her quick action, they were able to reattach the hand and after a lot of rehab, he should be fine.

It’s weeks later and Naomi is being interviewed in her giant house. She looks like she hasn’t slept in days. “I have two mortgages that are both for more than the houses are worth. I can’t come close to paying the minimums. My other house is in a damn swamp and doesn’t even have cell service. I’m so fucked.”

The End