Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: This House Needs Paint

After taking last week off for Colm’s wedding festivities (congratulations Lisa and Colm!) I’m back in it, full force, for the time being! Pete and I got title suggestions at our show last night, which leads us into my FMF this week:

This House Needs Paint

This movie is shot entirely on a go-pro or some other handheld type camera is a found footage type of thing. Doug and Jen are newly married and have been looking for a house. The real estate agent, Kim, takes them around to tons of houses for days on end. After many failed attempts, mostly because of budget restraints and other bidders coming in at the last minute it seems like Doug and Jen are out of luck until they are driving with Kim and she says “Well there is one other house that’s in you price range…”

“Which house?”

“Well it’s the old Goodman place, there was a murder there years ago, no one wants it. People say it’s haunted by ghosts.”

“Can we look at it?”

So of course Kim takes them to the house and they love it, and the price is just right for them, obviously. But they are initially reluctant about moving into the murder house. Kim tells them that the house is built on an indian burial ground and some people think it is haunted, but that’s all obviously false. After mulling it over for a while, and are shown living in some tiny apartment where they keep tripping over each other they decide it’s the house for them.

They move into the house and everything starts out fine. They start fixing up the house where it had fallen apart, bringing in new appliances, fixing the plumbing and stuff. And still everything is fine. One night Doug and Jen start hearing weird noises coming from the basement, they go to check it out but nothing is there. A few more days pass and they start to hear rumblings coming from the attic, again they check and again nothing is there.

A few more nights pass and everything is fine until they start noticing things moved around the house. Doug and Jen are starting to get freaked, Jen is starting to think about moving back out but Doug is adamant about staying, they don’t have any money left and this is all they can do.

Pictures and other things they have brought in start breaking, and they both start to freak out but NEVER ACTUALLY MOVE OUT. Doug starts researching stuff online and googles things like “indian burial ground” and “haunted house” with their address but nothing comes up.

One night they are both unable to sleep and start to hear noises again in the basement, they go to check it out but nothing, then they hear noises in the attic, so they go up there and find nothing except some old news paper clippings about a cult of psycho, cannibals who lived in the house and a police report about there being a child who was rescued from the cult. A child named Kim Goodman. They then start to freak out even more and run downstairs, there is a man their waiting for them with a knife but they push him over and keep running, there is a group of them in front of the front door, so they beeline it for the back door, which also has people waiting for them. They run down to the basement where there is a window to the ground outside, they open the window up and climb outside only to be greeted by Kim with a scythe, you know like the end of that movie The Last Exorcism. The camera keeps rolling as the bodies are dragged into the house.

The movie then cuts to a different couple also documenting their search for a house with Kim, as they drive by the cults house with a sign out front. The couple asks Kim about that house, Kim smiles at them, “do you believe in ghosts?”


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One thought on “Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: This House Needs Paint

  1. peter says:

    Love the fact that you never brought up the found footage part of it again until the end. Also never explained who was filming nor why. So you know, like a found footage movie

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