Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Roswell

I’m on call this week so I don’t have any excuse to not write a fake movie. This was a fun one to write.


Titles say ‘June 21 1947’
They fade out and are replaced by the text, ‘Washington’

Harold Dahl sees six UFOs in the sky.
The next day there is a knock at his door. He opens it revealing two men in black suits.

‘June 24 1947

Kenneth Arnold sees a UFO on his daily nature walk.

‘June 14 1947
New Mexico’
William Brazel is riding a horse. In the distance he sees a UFO crash land.
He rids off to investigate. As he approaches the crash site his horse is spooked and bucks him off. In a daze he stumbles further towards the wreckage. Something grabs him and he screams


Two agents wearing black (Viola and Viggo) are driving. They are joking about what excuse they will use this time. “What about the old standby: weather balloon,” says Viola. “Definitely. That’s a great one because if people see through it in a few years we can just say it was actually a secret spy ballon,” says Viggo. “And if they see through that lie as well?” “Oh that’s easy, we will reveal it was actually a craft containing strange looking beings, but it was all a plot by Stalin to freak the United States out. See he hired Josef Mengele a Nazi physician from Auschwitz to create alien looking things by experimenting on 12 year olds and giving them big heads and eyes. They’ll eat that shit up.” They both laugh.

We cut to a farmhouse. A family consisting of two parents, a little girl and older boy are talking about where their farmhand, Billy, has run off to. The boy, Tim, says he is probably drunk somewhere. The mother Bonnie scolds him while the father Chuck laughs. The little girl Alice doesn’t get the joke but laughs so she isn’t out of place. Chuck says there is a bigger problem, what’s happening to their cows.

We cut to a mangled cow carcass. The local vet is examining it. He has a tape measure and keeps measuring different wounds and shaking his head. “I know you are convinced It’s coyotes but I’m not…” Chuck asks, “Well what do you think it is.” “I don’t know…”

As they are talking Alice wonders off. She see something moving, it looks almost ape like. Her father yells at her to stop. He rushes over and points out the coyote traps hidden around the field.

The family are eating a hearty dinner when they hear a noise outside. Chuck assumes it has to be the coyotes or whatever other animal is killing their cows so he grabs a shotgun and goes outside. Almost immediately he runs back and bolts the door terrified. He tries to explain what he saw but can’t get the words out. All of a sudden an alien crawls down the chimney and grabs Alice and tries to drag her up.

Tim grabs an ax and attacks it. He wounds it enough that it drops Alice. Tim pulls her out of the way. Chuck is right behind them with the shotgun and blasts it. Alice is terrified.

Everything is quite. The alien looks dead and everyone is stunned. There is a knock at the door. It continues at gets louder. Chuck is the only one who movies and he trains the shotgun right at the door. The door breaks down revealing the two agents.

The agents see the shotgun and try to calm everyone down. They say they are here to help. They have their hands up and are speaking slowly. Viggo’s eyes are scanning the room and stop on the alien. “You killed one of them!?” He says. “One of them…” Chuck says. Out of nowhere long grey arms come down behind Viggo and pulls him up and out of the door. The family grab Viola and slam the door behind her.

The family make Viola tell them everything she knows. She tells them about how aliens have been visiting the earth and the visits have increased this year. From other crashes they know that two aliens are needed to fly the ship so most likely there is only one left. They have never been able to recover bodies that weren’t completely burnt.

Alice starts to perform an autopsy on the alien so they will know how to fight it. Alice watches from other room. The alien is grey and has arms like an ape and big eyes.

There is scratching on the outside of the house. Chuck gets the shotgun but Viola says it’s too dangerous to leave. The little girl runs out of the house.

Chuck runs after her but is slower. The alien is right behind Alice. In slow motion the alien is gaining on her. It suddenly falls over. Alice turns around triumphantly. The alien’s leg is trapped in a coyote trap.

In the morning swarms of men in black remove all the evidence. One of the high ranking agents is threatening them saying it’s a matter of security and they aren’t allowed to speak of this ever or they will be sent to a military run mental institution. Viola cuts him off. “I trust this family with my life. They won’t say anything. Anyways he is just the bad cop. I’m the good one. You heard the stick, now here is the carrot. I was able to convince my superiors and for your troubles we have pulled some strings and turns out you will win the lottery next week. Congratulations!”

‘Area 51’

The alien is in a cell pacing back and forth. The camera zooms in until it is a
close up on its eyes.

The End