Fake Movie Friday: Who Shot The Teddy Bear?

As Russ said we all took suggestions last night at the 3rd anniversary of Pig Pile. My suggestion is below. I wrote out an outline on the bus this evening and I think it is really awesome, let’s see if I can make those scribbles make sense. It’s a bit long but stick to the end, I think it’s really fun.

Who Shot the Teddy Bear?

Movie opens up with three men busting through the door into a mechanics garage. Two of them, Stevie and Tugs, celebrate over a bag of money and jewelry. The third man, Tony, looks nervous and sick. Stevie tries to cheer him up and Tony yells, “I shouldn’t have let you convince me. Why did I take your gun? I killed him!”

We cut to the job; they are in a dark mansion going through the drawers and cabinets. They all wear masks and Tony is still nervous. Stevie hands him a gun while he is looking through the closet when an old butler appears behind them. Tony turns around and fires the gun, we clearly see the butler falling over and smashing his head open on a table. Tony missed completely but thinks he killed him, and yells as they all run. The camera zooms into the bullet hole in the wall and we see it has blown through the head of a teddy bear.

We cut back to the three criminals, as Tony is still shocked. He says he is going to go to his girlfriend Kelly’s place and leaves. The remaining celebrate some more before Tugs says “I wonder what how the rich bastard we ripped off feels?”

We cut to a pissed off looking Mr. Gamora (Ga-More-a), played by Ray Liotta. He is sitting at his desk with the dead butler in front of it and two henchmen listening. He says, “We got to find these assholes. They made a huge mistake. You know my daughter woke up to this? She is traumatized. In my god damn home! Look!” He points to his left and the camera pans and we see the shot teddy bear. His two henchmen question him about the butler but he clearly doesn’t care. “Just find me who shot the teddy bear!”

We see Tony walking down the street and he turns a corner. He looks shocked and runs back around the corner. He peaks and we see a beautiful woman talking to a crazy looking survivalist man. The man leaves and Tony continues heading to her. We learn the guy is an old ex of Kelly, who now lives in a cabin outside of town. Tony has always been afraid of him. Kelly laughs about it and they go have sex.

Later that night we see Stevie and Tugs are partying and running their mouths a bit too much. The two henchmen find corner them on the street and knock them out. They wake up hanging tied up to chairs. The henchmen question them vaguely about the crime. Stevie stays strong but Tugs yells that they didn’t mean to shot the butler. One of the henchmen slaps him and says, “Fuck the butler! Who shot the Teddy Bear?” Stevie and Tugs both seem confused. They laugh and Tugs, a stoner by the way, says, “Tony shot the butler! Not some teddy bear.” One henchman says that Mr. Gamora will be very upset and tells them to give him Tony’s number. They comply and a henchman dials the phone.

Tony picks up in bed with Kelly and sounds confused. The henchman yells that they know he was the one who fired the gun. Tony jumps out of bed afraid. More threats come through the phone and Tug yells “Run! Gamora is coming to get you!” but he says it like the Japanese monster. Tony wakes Kelly and he frantically packs for them. He tells her that he killed some rich gangster’s butler and that they have to run but he doesn’t know where. She says, she does.

We cut to the two of them pulling up to a cabin. Tony does not look happy as the crazy ex, Cutter, comes out with a gun. He notices it’s them and lets them in. Later that night a large group of henchmen show up but fall prey to the traps he set. He goes to fight off the last two henchmen from before and is hurt in the fight. He talks to Tony saying that he never respected him. He says he likes Tony now because they share not only Kelly, but having both took life. One of the henchmen laughs at this statement before dying.

Tony decides to go see Gamora, who know thinks Tony took out all his men and the teddy bear was only a message. Tony comes into his office and they both look nervous.

Tony- Listen, I don’t want any more people to get hurt. He’s dead and I shot him. If he had family, I’m sorry to them.

Gamora- It is ok. He was just a toy for my daughter.

Tony- Oh come on he was more than that!

Gamora- No, no. It’s fine. I’ll get her an other one.

Tony- WHAT?

Gamora- Just get out of here!

Tony gets in the car where Kelly is waiting. He backs up and hears a crunch and a scream from a gardener who trips over. He sees the gardener on the ground and looks up into the house where Gamora is watching him and from his prospective we see Tony only ran into his daughters bike! Gamora looks terrified and yells for Tony to just leave his family alone.

Tony and Kelly drive away.

The End.


One thought on “Fake Movie Friday: Who Shot The Teddy Bear?

  1. Dunn says:

    You are right, the ending is pretty great

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