Movie Movie Podcast

I’ve been on a slasher kick for the last two weeks and wanted to continue on that theme. To mix it up a bit I wrote a protoslasher, a Giallo. They have amazing titles and I came up with one of my favorites. Adam’s poster from a few weeks back was great and I knew I wanted to make my own at some point and this was the perfect opportunity. Listen to Seven Notes in Black as you read this to get the full experience.

Five Scorpions in Amber Starlight

We open on a close up on a face. The man is in his fifties and looks like he has lived a hard life. The composition and lighting are perfect. The man doesn’t move. There is a click and we cut to a woman photographer. We cut back to a wider shot where the various lights and equipment are now visible.
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While waiting to go dancing I wrote up this little horror movie. It’s another festive one.

Ring in the New Year with Blood

We open with a montage of news reports about all the horrible things that have happened in 2016. The camera tracks back to reveal that all the images were being played on a TV in a classroom.
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Extended prologue

The story takes place in a small Cleveland, Ohio town.  Assume all the stranger things kids are in this.  Long story short, but Santa Claus, played by a scenery chewing Mark Strong, tired of kids being naughty and wasting all of the gifts his elves make, decides to take Christmas into his own hands.  He, along with his elves and raindeer, decide to leave the South Pole and occupy Cleveland.  This santa seems angrier than most, but the people of cleveland, still in a Cavaliers induced championship hangover, welcome santa with open arms.  They feel as though their city is finally getting it’s due.  However, once Santa gets to Cleveland, he gets out his ray gun, and shoots Lebron James’ kid straight in the face, killing him instantly.  Lebron, noticeably upset charges at Santa screaming “WHYYYYY?!?!?”  Santa cooly replies, “He was on the naughty list.”

Title card: FIGHT CHRISTMAS in 3D

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I’m watching a terrible Christmas movie with my family right now. I’m a fan of holiday themed horror movies and ”tis the season.

You Better Watch Out

The date December 23 is superimposed over an overhead shot of the front of a department store. There is no one around except for a man dressed as Santa ringing a bell in front of a donation bin. The camera slowly moves down until it is in closeup on a twenty dollar bill right on top of the donations. The Santa looks around sees no one, takes a swig off his flask and grabs the twenty. We see a shadow cross the Santa. “Naughty naughty” a raspy voice says. As the Santa begins to say something an ax swings through the frame. His severed head drops into the donation bin.
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