Category Archives: Fake Movie Friday

Fake Movie Friday – Polly and Max: Time’s Up

Today’s Fake Movie Friday comes along from the desire for hollywood to mine anything into profit no matter how ludicrous it sounds.  So why not take two moderately popular toy-lines from the early 90’s and spruce them up for a new generation of kids who knew jack shit about them, and make them so far from what they originally were that older people like me who remember it, think it’s an abortion.  READY. SET. GO!

Ok so Polly and Max stars AnnaSophia Robb as Polly Pocket and Alexander Ludwig as Mighty Max.  Since these toys never really crossed over, for film purposes Max and Polly are orphaned cousins who were taken in by their eccentric uncle Virgil played by Jim Broadbent.  It’s clear that he is some kind of scientist, but he’s wacky like Doc Brown.  Anyway as they both turn 18 on the same day, Virgil tells them that it’s time they knew the truth about their parents.  They come from a long line of Timekeepers.  Timekeepers are the balance of the world.  Anytime the catch wind that a bad guy is trying to go back in time or forward to change the course of history it was up to the Pocket family to stop them. Unfortunately 5 years ago (flashback sequence), an evil unlike anything they’ve ever seen named Erik Von SlechteMal, played by Jared Harris, defeated them.  He killed them by time jumping (which is ostensibly teleporting) them into a volcano.  Ever since then he’s been making slight changes to our timeline and gathering up an army to take over the world.  The feeling of deja vu you have is the slight changes he’s been making.  Now it is up to Polly and Max to learn how to be Timekeepers and put and end to SlechteMal before it’s too late.

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Fake Movie Friday: Killer

I’m so tired. I completely forgot it was Friday. I wonder if I can actually make this happen…

 

Killer

John Mark wakes up in his own bed covered in blood. He rushes to the bathroom and cleans himself off and stares at himself in the mirror, while breathing heavily. We quickly learn this isn’t the first time this has happened. John responds the way he always does, he checks the news and sees if there has been any murders in the area, but there is nothing. He goes about starting the rest of his day, he makes himself a bowl of shredded mini wheats, a glass of blood orange juice and sits in silence.

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Fake Movie Friday: Hurricane Jane

It’s 1 o’clock and I just woke up after seeing the midnight showing of ‘The Dark Knight Rises’, which I did not like. Basically I’m in a weird place and I’m not sure how this will turn out. Let’s take this journey together.

Hurricane Jane

We open at an anniversary party of an older couple. Everyone is having fun and the we see a young couple David and Diane, played by Martin Freeman and Olivia Munn, looks really happy. The party is for David’s parents and his father gets a little drunk and his speech is weird as he talks about marriage and his sons impending nuptials. David laughs, as Diane looks furious. Later at their home Diane flips out on him. We get the idea that she isn’t the nicest person and not quite right for David and he apologizes all night.
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Fake Movie Friday Submissons: Catching A Falling Knife Part 2: Meltdown

Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Andrew Dunn…

Because no one asked for it, I made a sequel to my fake movie Catching A Falling Knife from two weeks ago, here goes:

Catching a Falling Knife Part 2: Meltdown
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Fake Movie Friday – Cup of Life

Cup of Life is a romantic drama written by Zoe Kazan and directed by Marc Webb.

Cup of Life is about second chances, love, loss, and learning how to live blah blah blah.  Anyway Cup of Life begins with a young man named Jonathan, played by Kit Harrington getting ready for work.  We get the hint from his answering machine, that his girlfriend has recently broken up with him and wants to get her stuff back.  He deletes her message and goes on getting ready for his day.  He walks out of his Greenwich Village apartment and hops on his bike.  He gets off and ties up his bike and heads into Cup of Life.  Once he goes inside he pulls out his macbook and starts writing.  It is clear that he is a writer and goes to coffee shops to write.  However right as he is about to begin writing the manager played by Geoffrey Arend tells him that he has to buy something first.  He goes to the front of the line with a pack of mints to buy and then the manager rudely tells him to get to the back of the line. When he finally gets to the front the manager, clearly just being a pain at this point tells him he has to buy a beverage, and they have a long drawn out back and forth over him just ordering a cup of regular coffee, when that is the only thing they don’t have on their menu.  The girl behind him, Laura, played by Zoe Kazan starts giggling over the exchange and when Jonathan doesn’t have enough money on him, she gives him an extra quarter.  He thanks her and grabs his latte and goes back to his table.
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Fake Movie Friday – Bodega Catz

Bodega Catz (with a z of course) is the latest Sony Pictures Animation film from the team behind Baby Geniuses 2: Baby Geniusers. It is a hybrid animation/live action film.  The animals are all life-like, but slightly stylized so that it justifies animating them.

Bodega Catz is about the secret lives of those cats that are typically in bodegas and the misadventures they get themselves into.

The film opens up on a busy South Bronx corner.  There are hydrants open and it’s clear that it is a summer night (Lots of incomprehensible spanish music playing).  A storefront owner named Chinchito, played by George Lopez, begins to close up his shop for the evening to play dominoes outside of his store with his son, and grandfather.  When he sits he begins to talk about all of the troubles he’s having keeping the store up and running with the rising rent costs.  He doesn’t know what he’s going to do.  The grandfather says something wise, and they all start drinking.  As Chinchito and his family cheers, we pan to the inside of the bodega, and two cats cheers two glasses of milk together and start partying all over the bodega.  Chinchito thinks he hears something, but he ignores it.  The two cats Miguelito and Zippy are played by Diego Luna and Efren Ramirez.  They have the typical dynamic where one is smart and the other is stupid, but because it’s ethnic, it’s kinda racist.  Anyway they are getting ready to meet up with some friends at the bodega on the other corner.  They head over to meet up with their friends Paco and Angelina played by Carlos Alazraqui and Emma Stone (who affects a spanish accent for the film).  Anyway it’s clear from their hanging out and partying and eating the food in the bodega’s that there is a connection between Miguelito and Angelina, but Paco and Angelina used to date, so Miguelito does not want to intrude.  The cats all do a bunch of shit that shows off that they are CGI.

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Fake Movie Friday: Infinite Trouble

Ok it’s obvious I have no ideas anymore and this one is the worst one yet. It just kind of goes no where and is horribly offensive to Canadians. It is pretty short though. That being said, let’s get this OVER with.

Infinite Trouble (randomly generated title thanks to: http://phrasegenerator.com/actionmovies)

 

Gordon (played by Jay Baruchel) is a recluse, mathematician and Canadian who has just written an equation that can produce infinitely long prime numbers.

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Fake Movie Friday: Olympi-Brad

In honor of the Olympics here’s a Like Mike-esque film that stinks of crap and gold medals.

Olympi-Brad

The film opens with a scrolling shot of a high school trophy case. There are hundreds of trophies when we get to the left over space at the end we see our main character reflected in the glass before he is pushed down by some jocks. He’s standard movie young nerd, meaning pretty attractive but with unattractive friends.
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Fake Movie Friday Submissions: Satan In Seafoam

Michael Stevens returns to Fake Movie Friday again this week. Let’s hope he sticks around forever because these have been fantastic. Enjoy!

Satan in Seafoam
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Fake Movie Friday: The Ballad of Frankie Lee and Judas Priest

This would be relativly short, about 5 minutes, the length of the song The Ballad of Frankie Lee and Judas Priest by Bob Dylan. I don’t want to call it a music video (though it is), this was a project I wanted to film back when I was taking a film making class in Tennessee. But I neither had the talent, the number of friends required for this, the infinite amount of time or the resources. The song will be playing in the foreground the whole time, there will be no other spoken dialogue besides what is said in the song, there will be no extra sound effects of any kind. I’ll just be describing the shots along with dictating the lyrics to the song for this. If Bob Dylan sings a line of dialogue, the character would mouth the words at the same time. The “talking” scenes will resemble an old silent film. It will all take place in Nashville, circa 2002.

For reference:

The Ballad of Frankie Lee and Judas Priest:

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