Fake Movie Friday: Tramp Stamp Collector

Looks like I’m working late on a Friday night, so I might as well use a bit of this time to write my FMF. I’m thinking this is like Cabin in the Woods meets The Apparition meets Resident Evil Extinction. I asked for a suggestion at last nights Pig Pile (were you there? You should have been) and the title I got was:

Tramp Stamp Collector

We open on the bloodshot eye-ball of a victim, Lindsay. She appears to have just woken up and starts to look around. She is beaten, bloodied and wearing a bikini. The room she is in has a very cold, steal feel about it, similar to something you would find in the Saw series. Just to drive that point home, as we pull out from Lindsay’s frame we see the bodies of multiple girls, all of similar ages, laying dead on the floor. Some decapitated bodies, etc, smash cut to the title screen.

This next portion of the movie is shot like a found footage film. It shows Lindsay and all of her friends, the dead ones at the beginning, alive and happy and headed on their spring break trip to Cancun. It’s really a whole video diary that Lindsay is doing because she is quirky. It has her waking up, packing, picking up a couple of her friends, them at the airport, them sleeping on the plane and playing jokes on one another. At one point one of the other girls steals the camera and they start playing jokes on Lindsay, all in good fun and no one ever becomes agitated. They arrive, have a very weird cab driver conversation on the way to the hotel, and the girls continue to talk about the weird conversation afterwards.

They have a few different rooms at the hotel and decide they need to get ready to go to the pool. At the pool they are all drinking and having a good time, they meet some guys and that night a couple of the girls hook up with the guys. Lindsay is filming and has a comedic moment where every time she walks into a room with the camera people are having sex in the room, it happens about 4 or 5 times.

Lindsay is at her computer looking at the footage and one of the other girls is holding the camera and says something like “so why do I have to hold the camera right now?” And Lindsay explains that she keeps seeing the same figure in the background of all the shots. It’s a creepy, weird-looking masked person.

They go out the next night with some of the guys they met the night before to some remote location near a lake in the middle of the woods. There is a tire swing and everything. People are skinny dipping, drinking, smoking pot, things that people probably do when on a vacation with friends. There is a crazy malfunction with the tire swing, the rope breaks and one of the guys goes flying into some rocks and dies. Everyone starts to freak out, the guys decide to go and get some help while the girls stay there. Lindsay notices the weird masked man and starts to scream. He disappears and all of the girls get really freaked out. They start to run away, Lindsay drops the camera and we see her run off into the distance, we see the masked man take the camera, look into it and turn it off.

We now find ourselves with Lindsay in the murder room. Along with the dead girls we also see most of the guys all there and dead, as well as the cab driver. Lindsay hears some footsteps coming towards the room, she thinks quickly and finds a splintered bone then hides behind the door. When the masked man comes in she stabs him in the leg, kicks him over and runs out of the room. She finds herself in the woods again and starts to run until she hits an invisible barrier. She’s dumbfounded and can’t figure out what to do. As she is feeling around the wall for something that could be a latch we see the splintered bone from earlier before rip right through her mouth as she dies.

The masked man behind her takes off his mask and ends up being one of the people working at the hotel. He gets on an intercom and says something to the effect of “we almost had it this time, send in the next subjects.” We then see on the other end another one of the hotel workers hitting a button and a whole clone factory can be seen with multiple versions of Lindsay and her friends. “Starting test number 458,” the hotel worker says as she pushes a button labeled START.


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