Holy shit we are back! After Andrew published the book of the original run of FMF we all got the bug. So last night at the 7th Anniversary Show of Pig Pile we all took movie suggestions! Let’s see how many weeks I last this time around.
Gremlins in Paradise: Mogwai Luau
We open on a plane. People are smoking on it so we can tell it’s the early 90s even without the terrible fashion. We pan to find Billy and Kate, now played by Andrew Garfield and Maika Monroe, sitting together clearly dressed for a tropical vacation. This will be a sequel/soft reboot to set up a new franchise. One of those movies that takes entirely too long to start because it thinks it has a lot of work to do.
We get the feeling that their relationship is a bit strained and this vacation is important to the both of them. Kate just wants to get away and spend time with Billy, while he seems to believe more that all the things they could do will save their love, like how movies love to show guys not understanding the real problem. He says something real over the top about how everything is going to be fine and the camera pans down through the plane into the cargo hold and we see Gizmo poking his head out of a checked bag. *THIS MOVIE IS PRE 9/11*
Credits roll through a really charming scene of Gizmo’s bag being taken off the plane and being brought through the parts of the terminal you’ve only ever seen in Die Hard 2. He hides again as Billy picks up his bag. Travelling to the hotel Gizmo realizes he made a mistake as he sees that the sun is super bright here in unidentified island nation.
Now at the hotel things get a bit strained as Billy really wants them to start activities and isn’t realizing that Kate just wants to relax and have some fun hotel bed sex. They agree to relax and hit the ‘traditional island ceremony’ later that night. Gizmo makes his way out of the bag and into the hotel. Some really charming scenes go down Gizmo style. When the sun goes down he heads out exploring.
At the ceremony, which seems cheesy for the tourists, Gizmo actually seems affected by what’s happening and is seemingly flung by magic across the yard. The next day Billy and Kate are relaxing on the beach and she heads into the water. Billy decides to try and nap. He’s woken up by that sweet familiar coo-ing of Gizmo who then jumps on his stomach. Billy freaks out both surprised and worried because Gizmo isn’t supposed to be in the sun. Gizmo does some adorable charades to get Billy to realize that it was the ceremony that changed the rules!
Billy tries his best to hide Gizmo from Kate and this only strains the mood of the trip further. Kate finds out and is angry but is a bit more proactive about figuring out the new rules so they don’t end up with a gremlin problem again. She makes some speech about how she hates a holiday and the reference LANDS HUGE.
She finds out who performed the ceremony and asks him about Gizmo. By the way this is Ken Jeong. He figures out that Gizmo has 3 new rules.
- Light of the full moon kills him
- He can’t eat while the sun is up (to finally curb that time zone complaint about the old rule) or he’ll turn gremlin.
- Water will still make him multiply
They take Gizmo back to the resort and Billy promises Kate that he’ll be more careful this time around, fool me three times shame on me. He takes Gizmo out and about and it takes maybe 2 minutes for Gizmo to get wet from a dog shaking to dry itself. He multiplies and hijinks ensue.
The new Mogwai’s begin running around the resort and start eating at a fancy hotel buffet. They transform and shit gets REAL. People start dying and the survivors hide out in the basement that first night. They get excited as they realize that the next night will be the full moon.
Billy seems worried but shares a nice scene with Kate as he realizes that she’s happy just to be trapped with him and it was just time and closeness their relationship needed. They start to fight back the next day and things don’t go super great.
They are captured and find out they are a big part of the Mogwai Luau that they will celebrate the coming of the full moon where they’ll have to hide. Gizmo goes full Rambo again but this time he’s more of an island warrior. He save’s them in time and they are able to trap the Gremlins in the indoor part of the hotel’s pool and open up the sunroof allowing the moonlight in to kill them.
They kiss in the moonlight as the camera pans to Gizmo chilling with an island drink looking real cool.
The End
POST CREDITS
A cabana boy comes up to two chairs on the beach. He apologizes and tells them their was problems at another resort and traffic has been restricted. The camera pans around to show John Glover’s character Mr. Clamp from the 2nd one saying no worries. He turns to the chair next to him and says “we don’t mind. Do we dear?” When then see he’s talking to the lady gremlin and they kiss.