So I’ve been without Cable or the Internet for the past few days. I was going to write a movie about a world where we lose these things but realized it’s been done. It was called ‘The Postman’ and it was PERFECT. So here’s a film about a magic library instead.
It’s raining and a kid sits out in front of his house. He calls his mom on her cell phone but it goes right to voicemail. He tries the door again but it’s locked. He notices some neighborhood toughs coming down the street and tries to hide but they see him. A standard kids-movie bullying scene follows. It’s not overly mean as much as awkward that the bully is putting in so much work.
There’s a loud thunder crack and while the bullies are distracted our hero, Sam, gets away. It’s dark at this point and he’s looking for somewhere to escape the rain. He notices the lights on in the small Library. As he approaches he hears laughter and music inside.
When he enters he finds a party with many strangely dressed people. Everyone notices him and the music stops. He turns to run but slams into Michael Clarke Duncan and faints. When he wakes up MCD introduces himself as Jim. “Yeah, and just Jim, this is the 21st centrurya after all” says Josh Hutcherson sitting on the table behind him. Sam learns that he’s talking to Huck Finn and Jim and is very confused.
“Perhaps I can explain” says John Hurt coming into the room. He explains how his family has always watched over the magical library where characters come to life. He welcomes Sam to visit as long as he doesn’t tell people.
Sam visits all the time and there are a ton of dumb ass jokes. Like Ishmael singing “Call me Maybe” but inserting his name. Dr. Frankenstein runs the sound system. The Artful Dodger keeps stealing Sam’s wallet. The Three Musketeers help fight off the bullies. BLAH BLAH BLAH.
One day Sam gets home late and his mom is there. She asks where he has been and they argue. He says she’s never around and it’s none of her business. He throws his bag and a bunch of library books fall out. He let’s slip that at the library the characters come to life. The next day he drags him down to the library and none of the characters are there, only John Hurt’s old librarian character. John Hurt looks disappointed with him. Sam’s mom leaves and Huck Finn comes and tells him that some people just don’t believe enough to see them.
Sam’s mom and the bullies’ moms complain about the goings on at the old library and it the funding is cut. Sam gets the bullies together and introduces them to all the characters. Together they get the town to come to the library. A lot of families come to the library but no one can see the characters. Sam makes an impassionate speech, you know, one a kid his age has NO business making. As he talks characters start to appear to some of the kids of the town. The parents are nervous at first but seeing their children so excited and interested in reading they give money to fund the library.
The movie ends after Sam and his mom make up. The bullies from the beginning stop others from bullying someone with the help of the Three Musketeers. Sherlock Holmes leads a group of kids to find a missing bike. Yet again who gives a shit.
I woke up at 530 to go golfing this morning. This movie reflects that situation completely.