Fake Movie Friday: The Valley

Movies love it when two people fall in love just because they are different and thrust together. You guys know how love works! Even if it’s two dancers, one street and one classical, if you put them together long enough they will inevitably fall in love. Let’s go further with this. Also let’s copy Katniss because that’s highly profitable.

The Valley

We begin with a voice over by the main character Kara, played by Mia Wasikowska, as she explains the world. It is the far future and cities have all been destroyed. Most of the world is scorcthed but those few who escaped to the north, the remaining humans have banded into tribes. There are those of the land, and those of the knife. Farmers work the land. Hunters and warriors depend on the knife to survive. The two tribes do not get along. They struggle to keep their way. Some believe in a fertile land, untouched by the devastation. It is called the Valley (TITLE APPEARS!)

Kara walks quietly through a forest, stalking some prey. She sees a deer looking creature, but it’s a weird future movie so they look weird so more antlers, and fixes and arrow on her bow. She stops when she sees a boy approaching the deer with a carrot, but it’s a weird future so the carrot is strange so more antlers. She hesitates, but an arrow flies through the deer’s neck. The boy runs. Her older brother Tek, is the one that killed the deer and chastises her about hesitating on their way back.

At dinner her father lectures her about the Tribe of the Land. They are foolish and hope for a better world, that she needs to stay away from them and survive in the world they have. The next day she goes back into the forest and the boy is there again. His name is Cotter, played by Jonny Weston. The two argue about their respective tribes and Kara laughs at him when he mentions the Valley. Cotter yells that it is real but is cut off as a huge elephant like beast runs at them (the elephant has 6 antlers). The two run off, Kara yells at Cotter that he’s going the wrong way and runs after him. They reach the end of the edge of a cliff and into the river below.

They emerge from the river and Kara yells at him about how there is no way back up the cliff before she passes out. She awakes later to find Cotter treating a gash on her head. He tells her about how his people know all about healing and living with the land. They argue about their respective ways of life. They set up camp and there is a fun sight gag that night as Cotter sits eating small berries as Kara chomps on a giant leg from a rabbit (3 antlers) she killed.

They walk the next day a bit and come across a dead body. The man wears things they’ve never seen before. In his pocket they find a map to the valley. The spend some time traveling along the route the map says. They fight creatures and stuff and start to bond. A large antlered tiger attacks them one night and Cotter is hurt. He is hurt but teaches Kara how to heal him. She tells him she’ll teach him how to hunt better and they almost kiss.

Cotter is attacked the next day by Tek! Kara fights him off and they argue. She tells him about the Valley but he doesn’t believe her and tries to take her back with him. Tek is attacked buy a crazy crocodile ostrich hybrid (no antlers) and killed. It attacks Kara but Cotter appears and kills hit. They emerge from the forest and find the Valley. It’s a small city with plenty of room, cattle, farms. The two kiss and we time jump to the two tribes arriving to live there.


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One thought on “Fake Movie Friday: The Valley

  1. Dunn says:

    Mia has been busy, staring in two fake movies in one day!

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