Apr 28 2017
Fake Movie Friday

Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Curley Sue’s Last Stand

Title from Tigs, clearly he nailed it in one. He also made the typo, which I am keeping and making it a part of the plot.

Curley Sue’s Last Stand

James Curley, an older man, sits outside his cabin in the woods. A fancy Cadillac pulls down the dirt road and a man in a suit exits. The well-dressed man addresses him as Sue. James has really curly hair and has always been referred to as Curley Sue. He asks Sue if he had time to look over the mining company’s proposal to buy his land. Sue point over to the side of the house at his wood chipper littered with white pieces of paper. The man shakes his head and tells him it was a generous offer. Sue says he agrees and tells the man to get off his land.

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Apr 21 2017
Fake Movie Friday

Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Thieves in the Night

I started this on my phone earlier and accidentally deleted it. Trust me, the original opening was beautiful. Title from Tigs! It’s been a while since I’ve written one this long. Sorry.

Thieves in the Night

A young boy sets up a pair of binoculars on his windowsill. He’s watching a cornfield across the street. The wind blows the stalks aside and he sees a shadow in them. He gets scared but looks again and this time there is no wind but they continue to move as if something is traveling through them. He jumps over to his bed hiding as he hears the creaking of wood outside his window. He rolls out of bed to hid under it trying to get his flashlight on until something grabs him and pulls him out. He tries to scream but a strange shadowy hand covers his mouth.

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Apr 14 2017
Fake Movie Friday

Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Sputnik

Got this one out in record time.

Sputnik

It’s 1957 in the USSR and Sergei wakes up a minute before his alarm goes off. He gets ready for the day. The camera is focused on his face as he moves about and a sad song is playing in the background (think of the beginning of BoJack). We see his wife Xenia in the background trying to calm down their two children. Sergei barely has any emotions. He gets to work and he sits down behind his desk, exhales and smiles.

There are blueprints and rocket models all over his desk. He has a large office. One of his coworkers knocks on his door. Sergei greets him warmly. The coworker (Georgi) has a grave look on his face and says he has been hearing some scary rumors about a change of priorities from the higher ups. Sergei tells him not to worry, that everything is on schedule and he is sure everything will be fine.
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Apr 14 2017
Fake Movie Friday

Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Ice Cream Socialite

Title from Tigs after he gave me a couple Fate of The Furious flavored ones. I don’t think I’m ready to open that can of worms so here we go instead.

Ice Cream Socialite

Clarissa wakes up in her fancy NYC park side penthouse. Her older husband is already in a suit ready to head to work. He tells her that he will be out of town for a day or two. They have a discussion that borders on argument that they have clearly done before about how she is bored but he doesn’t want her to work. We get the sense that she has bigger ideas and dreams. She heads out to the park and runs into a huge line of people at an ice cream cart.

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Apr 08 2017
Fake Movie Friday

Fake Movie Friday vol 2: Missile Command

Yeah yeah I’m a day late, but I didn’t want to skip too weeks in a row. This is basically the Last Starfighter but inspired but very recent events.

Missile Command

Aisha a high school student is playing Missile Command on an arcade cabinet. It’s clearly the 80s from the clothing and they are playing ‘Come On Eileen’ on the pizza shop’s sound system. She is getting the high score but the missiles start moving too fast and she gets a game over.
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Apr 07 2017
Fake Movie Friday

Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: The Master’s Master

Let’s get right into this one. This is something I say when I don’t quite have an idea yet but I want to start typing. Title comes from a list Tigs texted me last week on a plane.

The Master’s Master

Peng is a young Chinese teen studying Kung Fu in a time that comes before now (zero research y’all). He is the star pupil out of a very small group training with Master Zhou. His best friend is Luke, a white European because Hollywood is afraid this movie won’t make money without one.

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Mar 31 2017
Fake Movie Friday

Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Sheep’s Clothing

I’m writing this on a plane! I’ve now written FMFs on trains, in cars, in bars, on the toilet, and now a plane. I need to write one on a boat next. Also this plane has the Arnold classic ‘The Running Man’ so I’m having the best time. Did you know: The Running Man takes place in 2017? Title is from Tigs who is about 8 rows behind me.

Sheep’s Clothing

Kara is driving her car through a terrible storm. She passes a sign that says ‘State Penitentiary’. The storm knocks her off the road and a tornado is seen in the distance.

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Mar 24 2017
Fake Movie Friday, Uncategorized

Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Roswell

I’m on call this week so I don’t have any excuse to not write a fake movie. This was a fun one to write.

Roswell

Titles say ‘June 21 1947’
They fade out and are replaced by the text, ‘Washington’

Harold Dahl sees six UFOs in the sky.
The next day there is a knock at his door. He opens it revealing two men in black suits.

‘June 24 1947
Washington’

Kenneth Arnold sees a UFO on his daily nature walk.

‘June 14 1947
New Mexico’
William Brazel is riding a horse. In the distance he sees a UFO crash land.
He rids off to investigate. As he approaches the crash site his horse is spooked and bucks him off. In a daze he stumbles further towards the wreckage. Something grabs him and he screams
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Mar 24 2017
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Fake Movie Friday

Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Crime Brûlée

It’s only week 19 and I’m already debating about how long I will be doing this for. Luckily I got some titles from Tigs and he threw this absolute gem at me and I’m energized.

Crime Brûlée

Chef Harold is the talk of the town. He is a famous dessert chef who does guest spots at fancy restaurants and talk shows. He is working on opening his own line of shops. He returns home to his fancy apartment to find his younger brother Todd waiting for him. Todd is a career criminal and is coming to Harold for money. Harold sends him away when he learns it’s for putting a job together.

Shortly after this night Harold is meeting with his financial advisor when he learns Mr. McGuffin, a wealthy investor of his has used him and stolen the money for the shops. Harold is angry and ignored by McGuffin who says it was just business. Harold flirts with McGuffin’s sexy assistant. Harold is lost for a solution until he realizes that he should track down his brother. That maybe crime is the answer.

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Mar 17 2017
1 Comment
Fake Movie Friday

Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Brothers in Crime

It’s St. Patrick’s day and I’m trying to get this done before going out. I was sick last week and missed writing a fake movie but I’m not missing this week!

Brothers in Crime

1914 Chicago
Mikey and Bert are 10 and 8 respectively. We see them in a one room classroom. Mikey is being disruptive. The teacher says that if he doesn’t follow the rules he won’t amount to anything. We cut to the kids playing. Mikey is very rambunctious and picks on the littler kids but always defends his brother. We cut to the brothers at a corner store. Mikey steals some baseball cards.

1934. The brothers are now adults. Mikey has continued in his way and has begun to rob banks. He is buying expensive cars and has a beautiful girlfriend. Mikey is always nice to Bert but it is clear that Bert is envious of his lifestyle. He has always been a law abiding man but he has had enough and decides to rob a bank.
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