Monthly Archives: June 2012

WE’RE SUPPOSED TO BE TAKING THE ROBOCOP REMAKE SERIOUSLY? Pt. 2

I guess the answer is yes.

Last week after Peter posted about the Robocop remake and the fact that Samuel L. Jackson signed on as a media mogul and Gary Oldman, as the man who puts the Robo in Joel Kinnaman’s Cop, it looks like they’ve gone ahead and cast the villain.  Hugh Laurie.  Doctor House.  I think this is a good piece of casting.  He’s been good in mostly everything he’s been in, including his Dr. Sherlock show, so I think he’s got the chops to pull this off.  Also, now that House is over, he can finally start acting in films as more than just a secondary or tertiary character.  Within the next two years I can almost bet that Hugh Laurie and Bryan Cranston will be snapping up every 50 year old man role in Hollywood after crushing it on tv for the better part of the last decade and I can’t think of two actors more deserving of some great roles.

While I still find this film utterly unnecessary, they’ve gotten my 14 bucks now.

 

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100 Years of Terrible Photoshop

Paramount’s 100th anniversary! Recently Vanity Fair got together 116 stars for a big old picture.

If you haven’t seen it, here’s the website that allows you to hover over it and see who is who.

100 Years Photo

It’s an awful photoshop job of course
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Avengers, Reassembled

It looks like The Avengers MIGHT receive the Avatar treatment this August, according to an article on superheroauthority.com. The Three hour directors cut, which director Joss Whedon has spoken about prior, may be released in theaters at the end of the summer in preparation for the super mega blu ray release of the film. It’s no secret that The Avengers made exactly a metric fuck ton of money and currently holds the #3 spot of all time domestic gross ($573M), behind Avatar at #1 ($760M) and Titanic at #2 ($658M).

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Remember Paris

Paris I’ll Kill You is an upcoming horror film from Christian Alvart (Pandorum, Case 39), Alexandre Bustillo (Livid, Inside), Joe Dante (GREMLINS), David R. Ellis (Snakes on a Plane, Shark Night 3D), Xavier Gens (Hitman, The Divide), Joern Heitmann (Rammstein’s “Sonne”, “Ich Will” and “Mutter”), Paco Plaza (REC, REC2 (woah, really?), REC3 (seriously??)), Eron Sheean (Errors of the Human Body), Julien Maury (Livid, Inside) (both with Bustillo), Christopher Smith (Triangle, Black Death), Bjorn Stein (Underworld: Awakening, Shelter), Mans Marlind (Underworld: Awakening, Shelter) (both with Stein) and more.

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Salma, Buddy… We Need To Talk

Hi Salma Hayek.

If you noticed I called you “buddy.” I’m not going to call you sweetie, darling, princess, or anything else that degraded you as a women.

But I’m here to talk to you about playing strippers. You need to stop.

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Stuff of Legend & Disney’s Hunt for Male Demo

Disney for the last 5 years or so has been doing everything it can to get it’s hands on the elusive young male demographic.  You know those guys that go see explosion the movie, or play Call of Duty: Future War (that’s a good idea for a game and I want full credit).   They made Prince of Persia and Sorcerer’s Apprentice, and those were both terrible bombs.  Then they went and bought Marvel, and rebranded Toon Disney to be more of a young males network, somehow turned Tron: Legacy into a 400 million worldwide earner, and made Avengers the most awesome popcorn film maybe ever made.  Despite the bombing of John Carter, they are now playing with house money and can take some chances.

The graphic novel The Stuff of Legend, I have not read, but it sounds like the perfect project for Disney to adapt into film.  It centers on a young boy, who in the 1940’s gets dragged into “scary Narnia” by The Boogeyman.  His dog and his toys then go into that realm called “The Dark” to rescue him.  When they enter that realm however, they transform into larger more threatening, weaponized versions of themselves.  Like I said I have not read the book, but I will probably pick it up this week, cause this sounds like the kind of dark stuff that Hollywood has shied away from over the years.  In the right hands this can be something special.  In the wrong hands however this can be a nightmare.

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I Don’t Understand Hollywood Screenwriters

I’ve heard fantastic things about ‘The Woman In Black.’ Without being earth-shattering it reconnects with classic ghost horror in a way films have been trying to since the Japanese horror revival of the late 90s. Director James Watkins recently wrote an action-adventure script entitled ‘Methuselah’ concerning a 1,000 year old man.

Here’s where the story gets weird.

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Moby Dick and Two Film Theory

Deep Impact/Armaggedon.  Antz/A Bug’s Life.  The Truman Show/Ed TV.  The Illusionist/The Prestige.  Prefontaine/Without Limits.  Infamous/Capote.  Madagascar/The Wild.  Dante’s Peak/Volcano. Tombstone/Wyatt Earp. No Strings Attached/Friends With Benefits.  Chasing Liberty/First Daughter.  Paul Blart: Mall Cop/Observe and Report.  Mirror Mirror/Snow White and the Huntsman.

Notice a trend there?  Everyone kinda know that this happens, but it’s not new, and it wont stop.  Hollywood on a regular basis, greenlights two films with pretty much the same plot or very similar plots and then rival studios race to get their film out first and claim to be the better of the two.  No matter how the releases work out, one is typically deemed the box office/critical victor, while the other is the dud.

It’s going to happen again, but this time to Moby Dick.

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I’ll Get You Noah!

Darren Aronofsky has been trying to get his ‘Noah’ movie made for quite some time now. The casting has gone back and forth and finally settled on its boat building hero in the form of Russell Crowe. Now we have word that Ray Winstone (‘The Departed’, go watch ‘Sexy Beast’) is in final negotiations to play the villain in the film.

The story of Noah has a villain?

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Ghostbusters 3 and Why Wont They Stop!

When I was a kid, Ghostbusters was my favorite movie, cartoon, and toy line, by a wide margin.  My older brother was a Transformers/Voltron guy, and I transitioned right from Care Bears ( I WAS YOUNG!) to Ghostbusters.  I thought it was kinda spooky, funny, and cool all rolled into one property.  I even loved the sequel Ghostbusters 2 because there was more Slimer, slime in general, and I was part of the Nickelodeon generation, so I was REALLY into anything that was slimy.  Weird, but I was.  Anyway, as I’ve grown older, I realized a few things: The Ghostbusters cartoon was kinda shitty because it was Slimer and the Real Ghostbusters, not the Ghostbusters, and that second movie was retarded.  It was great for a kid, but it really has no staying power.  It also infuriates me that G2 is on Netflix streaming but not G1.

Now every few months, we get word from Harold Ramis and Dan Aykroyd that their new script for G3 is going to be great.  I am sorry but Ramis hasn’t written or directed anything decent since Analyze This.  I don’t even consider it a good film, but I will admit that it largely was considered good.  And Aykroyd hasn’t written or directed anything good since the first Ghostbusters, so I don’t have a lot of faith in these two shepherding a new film in the series even if its with the assistance of two writers from The Office.  Basically, I don’t want this movie to be made.

Bill Murray seems to be the only person in Hollywood on my side.  I trust his opinion and think he’s one of the smartest working comedic actors maybe ever.  He has range, talent, and knows how to avoid a shitty project for the most part.  He hasn’t liked any of the scripts, or rewrites thus far and said that he doesn’t want to do it unless the script is perfect.  If that is the case I think two of the following things should happen:

1) stop trying to make this movie.  Bill Murray is the big gun of the series and it doesn’t seem like he’s dying to get back to it, so just don’t do it.  Moving ahead without him means we’ll get a Ghostbusters: The Next Generation and I don’t want that either without a proper torch passing.  I can live without seeing Seth Rogen and Jay Baruchel as new Busters with Aykroyd playing their boss.  Trust me that’s what it will be.

2) Bring Bill into the writers room.  I know he doesn’t really write as much as he just acts, but his take on what should happen should be the most important thing at this point.  If you don’t believe me, look at his IMDB credits for the last 15 years and then look at everyone else’s.  Game. Set. Match.

I want to see a Ghostbusters 3 movie in my lifetime, but only if it’s perfect.  I don’t need to see a threequel 25 years later that could have just been Evolution 2, and that’s the feeling I get from everything I’ve heard thus far.  I hate what happens to franchises that just get licensed and sequeled to no end.  Terminator 1 and 2 are perfect, but the franchise has been run through the ringer with T3, Salvation, and the Sarah Connor Chronicles that it doesn’t hold the weight that it used to and in your mind Terminator is just like anything else not. No longer a standard bearer.  Ghostbusters would end up having the same thing happen if quality is not put into the script.  They’ll probably make the next one with a trilogy in mind and then we’ll go from one great film, decent sequel and cartoon, to one great film, decent sequel, decent cartoon, and shitty trilogy.  I can live without the latter.  Can’t you?

 

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