Author Archives: peter

Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Barrel of Monkeys

I saw John Wick Chapter 2 last night and frankly nothing in the world could possibly compare to the joy and excitement I felt/ continue to feel. But it’s Fake Movie Friday and that means I have work to do. This is a bit of a mad caper, lots of characters and shitty comedy bits that I won’t be flushing out. Title comes from a bunch of great ones Tigs gave me last week. The Sharon Stone to my Albert Brooks.

Barrel of Monkeys

We open on complete darkness. A mechanical hatch opens above us and we see the outline of some cargo, specifically a barrel where our focus stays. A crane comes in and picks it up and we find ourselves on the docks of NYC. The barrel is brought off the ship and loaded into the back of a truck with some other goods. The truck drives off. It is stopped by a man, who we’ll come to know as Sam, who hijacks it. He’s pretty polite while he does it.

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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Taken Identity

I don’t have much to say here. Title from Tigs

Taken Identity

We open in an office. It’s late at night and Tom is hard at work. His eyes are shutting a bit and he’s startled by a knock at the door. It’s his boss Mr. Morlun. He tells Tom that he earned partner with all his hard work and that means he should be able to relax a little bit, maybe take a vacation. Tom smiles at him and says he’ll think about it.

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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Jerky Men

Tig’s gave me a couple titles this week and I honestly wasn’t feeling them. No fault of his own, more of a me thing as I write this after grading midterms. This one seemed the most joke title, but by god I’m actually going to try and do this seriously. This is written with the bare minimum of research.

Jerky Men

A young boy dressed up as Robin (the boy wonder) stands next to his father at a small comic/entertainment convention. His father seems occupied standing in a line and he wanders off. He looks around in awe at a lot of cool booths before finding a older sad looking man sitting in front of a sign that says “Johnny Brennan of the Jerky Boys”

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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Millstone

I deactivated my facebook last night so the readership of this website is going to drop GREATLY. Pig Pile was last night and I got this title from Ashley. It’s a period piece but I don’t feel like figuring out what period it belongs in.

Millstone

The movie open on a black screen that displays the following, pausing before revealing the second definition.

mill-stone

/’mil, stōn/

noun

1. each of two circular stones for grinding grain

2. a heavy and escapable responsibility

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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: End of the Line

Guess who started sending themselves Google alerts that it is Friday? That’s right, it’s me. Read my lips, no more Saturday movies! Title from Tigs, the great and powerful.

End of the Line

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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Money Changes Nothing

So last week I celebrated two weeks in a row of remembering to write something. Eating my words currently. Title from Tigs! Here we go!

Money Changes Nothing

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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Midnight Crew

Boom. Two weeks in a row of remembering to do this in a timely manner. I texted Tigs some titles, but haven’t heard back so I’m going back a couple of weeks to when he gave me this one.

Midnight Crew

We open on a group of 4 teens hanging out on a dark cliff. They laugh together and cheer their drinks. They all look at their matching watches and start to countdown from 10. When they hit zero, they turn and run off shouting “Midnight Crew.” They hit the water below, pop up and yell triumphantly.

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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: No One Believes You

So during the first volume of Fake Movie Friday, Alex wrote one film. Understandably we gave him a hard time about this. After the book was published and we decided to start Vol 2 we joked about him writing one. When it came time to ask the Pig Pile crowd for our first week suggestion Alex announced he would do one too. Tigs gave him a title. He did not write it. Tigs and I have decided to both write a film using the title. The only rule is DO NOT MENTION THIS TO ALEX. Let’s see when he notices.

No One Believes You

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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: The Great Diaper Rash

Ugh. 2 weeks in a row that I am posting the movie early Saturday morning. I think we can all agree to count this as late Friday night instead. Title from an audience member at Pig Pile!

The Great Diaper Rash

We open on Taylor. She’s working the kitchen of a fancy restaurant and is propositioned by a coworker to get in on a side catering job. She turns it down saying she needs to be there for her son. Not looking she burns her arm on the fryer.

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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Alpha Source

Ok, so I am clearly not back in the groove of what Friday means. Russ SMUGLY told me at 1230am driving me home that he wrote a FMF. I freaked out. Opened gchat from last week and got an old title from Tigs. Sorry for a technically Saturday film.

Alpha Source

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