Category Archives: Movie Movie News

Fake Movie Friday: Rosie Bloom

So I sat down to write this and the trailer for that dumb looking movie ‘The Odd Life of Timothy Green’ popped into my head. I said to myself I could crank out a piece of crap magic family movie like that. Turns out I can. I present-

Rosie Bloom

Movie opens on elementary school field. Kids are running around for gym class playing soccer. The ball is kicked over the goal and rolls to a young girl sitting at the edge of the woods. Her name is Poem and she is alone drawing in a notebook. She is new in town and has no friends. The other kids make fun of her, especially over her very stupid name and art fascination.
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Fake Movie Friday Submissions: Award Winning

Andrew Dunn:

So I watched Airplane! and Hots Shots Part Deux recently and they just don’t make spoofs like they used to. In fact, they tend to make spoofs like this:

Award Winning

The trailer proclaims that the film is from the makers of Epic Movie, Meet the Spartans, Disaster Movie and Vampires Suck. It says that it has won the Audience Award from Miss Poppers fifth grade class, A gold medal in men’s 100m freestyle, and a Nobel prize in Economics. The trailer ends with the voice over guy saying “Award” then it cuts to Charlie Sheen surrounded by women in Bikinis who says “Winning!”. On to the film.
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Fake Movie Friday – The Caan Men

The Caan Men is a self-referential big hollywood action buddy film starring none other than James and Scott Caan playing themselves.

The film opens up at the premiere of the latest Oceans film, Oceans 15 (I’m calling 15, just incase 14 actually happens, and it probably will) at Mann’s Chinese Theater .  We see tons of celebrity cameo’s on the E! red carpet.  Ryan Seacrest is in the middle of interviewing George Clooney and Brad Pitt and they are hamming it up talking about how the film is a real piece of art or something, all the while, no one wants to interview Scott Caan.  For whatever reason, Pauly Shore has a cameo at this point telling Caan to get used to it.  Guys like them will never get the big interviews. Scott is obviously dejected, but he attempts to interrupt an interview with Seacrest and Matt Damon and it comes off as really pathetic.  He starts talking about how he’s on Hawaii 5-0 while drunk and everyone just sorta tries and play along, but at the same time get him off the camera.  He then stumbles on the red carpet spilling his drink on Matt Damon, who flips out on him.  Casey Affleck rescues Scott from his embarassment and tells Scott to just hang out in the bathroom and get himself together.  Scott obliges.  He goes to the bathroom to clean up, and starts drinking from his flask.
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Brad Pitt in New Orleans Killing People

Brad Pitt’s a good actor, New Orleans is my favorite city, and Killing People is something I love seeing in my films.  So watching the trailer for Killing Them Softly, I am convinced this is going to be a great film.  It is directed by Andrew Dominik, who directed the brilliant, albeit long The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford.

I don’t know why The Weinstein Company swapped release dates with this and Tthe Master between September and October, but even if The Master is a lock for best picture nods, I think Killing Them Softly can also be a dark horse in the race.  Brad Pitt is an oscar favorite, though he hasn’t won, and the film has such a wealth of talent in it between Richard Jenkins, and James Gandofini etc, and Dominik.  I think this can break through.

But look at the trailer for yourself and be the judge:

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The Paperboy & Zac Efron’s Legitmacy

The Paperboy trailer premiered this week and it looks very interesting.  It’s Lee Daniels latest film.  You might remember him from the Depress-O-Fest that was Precious based on the novel Push, by Sapphire.  It was raw, pulpy, depressing, but excellent.  With a cast of Matthew McConaughey, who is having a resurgent year, Nicole Kidman, David Oyelewo, and John Cusack, it looks like it could be very good.  Zac Efron appears to be at the center of the film and I think this is a good role for him to take.  He’s never been a necessarily good actor, but I think a good way to start is by surrounding yourself with better talent in front of and behind the camera.

Check it:

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Doctor Who Vs. Thor

It appears as though Christopher Eccleston has been cast as a villain (something I feel like people end up saying alot), Malekith the Accursed in Marvel’s Thor: The Dark World.  Eccleston is probably best known as playing the “dark” Doctor in the relaunch of Doctor Who.  While his interpretation is my least favorite of the three, he brought a necessary dark side to the character.  Between that and his penchant for playing villains in everything, I think this is a good piece of casting.

I’m assuming that because Malekith is the ruler of the Dark Elves, the “Dark World” that the subtitle refers to is the world of the Dark Elves, Svartalheim.

I don’t care either way, I just want to see a Thor film take place primarily in realms other than Earth.

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Days of Future Prequel Sequel

It has been rumored and now being reported by IGN.com as official from Bryan Singer (producer) that the ‘X-Men First Class’ sequel will be subtitled ‘Days of Future Past.’

This is ballsy and brilliant. Ballsy because it deals with MIND time travel. An older version of Kitty Pryde travels her mind into the present day version. Well past since ‘First Class’ timeline is the 60s, I think. Christ this is confusing already. I’m assuming they will send back the whole Kitty Pryde, or some other character, since mind time travel is weird.

This is smart because it could possibly find a way to change history so the stories of the X-Men movies we know never happen. Also this is our best bet for Sentinels.

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Statham Vs Franco!

Sylvester Stallone has an Academy Award for writing. I just wanted to say that before continuing. His new screenplay ‘Homefront’ is set to star Jason Statham as an ex-DEA agent who is trying to leave a violent past behind him. This set up should be called “The Statham.”
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Seven Psychopaths

Sam Rockwell in a hat holding a Shih Tzu.

A confused ascot wearing Christopher Walken.

An angry looking Colin Farrell.

You should be sold on this movie already. But wait! There’s more!
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SkyFalling

This trailer is balls. M is writing an obituary for Bond? Then we see her order his death? The tired plot device of losing agents real names from ‘Mission Impossible’ (1996) is used? Bond returns and is taunted by a somehow even more ridiculous looking Javier Bardem. We have the introduction of Q and a gun that only works for Bond! Remember when this idea was cool?

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