Aug 18 2017
Fake Movie Friday

Fake Movie Friday Vol 2- Lone Banana

This title comes from Julianne last night at Pig Pile. It’s origin from a stand ups set has to do with masturbating creativity. Let’s see what sort of movie comes from that fact.

Lone Banana

We open in an office building and people are talking about the previous weekend’s Halloween parties and such. They share pictures and stories until we hear the chime of an elevator and a silence comes over the office. The camera turns and we see a man walking through in a banana costume. He sits at his desk, puts his things down and gets to work.

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Aug 12 2017
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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Wizard War

This ones a little late but I’ve skipped too many weeks in a row and needed to get something out.

Wizard War

This is an animated movie that would have come out in the early 80s. Think Ralph Bakshi, Frank Frazetta, basically the art style of an airbrushed wizard on a van.

There is voice over during the prologue which sets up the world. Pretty much the entire prologue is static paintings to save money. The narrator talks about how the ancients discovered magic. The ancients lived in symbiosis with magic, listening to the power as well as using it. The peace was not to last. What became known as wizards began to bend magic to serve their own purposes. They corrupted it and splintered magic’s pure essence. So too were the wizards corrupted. Power above all else became their purpose leading to much bloodshed. The war raged on for decades, ending in a precarious truce.
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Aug 11 2017
Fake Movie Friday

Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Damsels Without Distress

I’ve been at home nursing a foot injury for a few days and have maybe said 10 words out loud in the past 5 days. Let’s see if that translates well to paper. Title from Tigs of course.

Damsels Without Distress

We open with a knight getting sent out by a king. It’s a fancy ceremony naming him a hero of the realm and such. We see a montage of him suiting up and mounting a beautiful horse. He rides out into the forest. The trees and terrain start to get darker and scarier. He fights some beasts, real and fantastic, as he travels. He approaches a dark tower and makes a speech about saving the princesses. He is quickly killed. We cut to the top of the tower where 4 women sit in a cell. One shouts out the window “Great job asshole!”

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Aug 10 2017
Movie Movie Podcast

Movie Movie Podcast #71: Three Months Later…

It’s been three months, but don’t worry we’re still just as funny as you remember! Join Alex, Peter, Russ and myself as we talk about Wonder Woman, Valarian and the City of a Thousand Planets, Atomic Blonde, Baby Driver, Spider-man: Homecoming, Wish Upon, The Emoji Movie, Dunkirk, A Ghost Story, War for the Planet of the Apes, The Big Sick, The Mummy, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales, Baywatch, Alien: Convenant, The Dark Tower, Hitman’s Bodyguard, It Comes at Night

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

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Aug 04 2017
Fake Movie Friday

Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Connected

Starting this on the previous Friday because I’m a FMF machine. Guess where this title came from? (The answer is Tigs)

Connected

Jake is riding high. He’s out with some friends at a bar. They are celebrating his engagement as well as his promotion. Things are going great. He just put a down payment on a house. He’s drinking pretty heavily and we start jumping ahead, skipping moments. We jump into a moment where he his punching someone in the face as the crowd gasps. His friends take him out of the bar and he gets put in a cab. A bouncer goes to one of his friends, “You’re man fucked up. That dude is connected.”

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Jul 28 2017
Fake Movie Friday

Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Another Destiny

I love this getting ahead with movies thing. May Vol 2 never end! Title from the great and powerful Tigs.

Another Destiny

We open in a meadow at dusk. A king and queen bring a baby up to a great willow tree where an old woman stands. In voiceover our main character Jodie, currently the newborn, talks about how everyone in their land has a destiny that they are assigned when they are born. They must follow it. Sadly hers was just to birth the next great generation of kings. We get the sense that something is a bit off during this ceremony though. I WONDER WHAT THE TWIST COULD BE BASED ON THE TITLE?!

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Jul 21 2017
Fake Movie Friday

Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Inner Workings

So I thought I started this two weeks early but then I forgot to ask for a title at Pig Pile last night. Tigs sent me a lot of vague titles, which are the best to think over and put together.

Inner Workings

A young boy, Robbie, plays inside. His mother sternly asks him to go outside. He is being too loud and his father is trying to sleep. He heads out to play looking a bit sad. A truck approaches and two men unload a tall covered object and head towards his door. He runs behind them and his mother tells him to stay out of the way. He slowly moves around the corner trying to see what it is as he hears his mother talking to his dad telling her that the things from his father’s estate have arrived commenting it took them long enough since the funeral was last week. Robbie comes around the corner to find a huge, beautiful, and intricate grandfather clock.

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Jul 14 2017
Fake Movie Friday

Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Part-Time Criminal

Look out world! Peter is starting a movie on a Monday! Let’s see if I can keep this motivation going for more than 15 minutes. All glory and honor to the Hypno-Tigs.

Part-Time Criminal

We open in a bank on a hot summers day. The teller is fanning herself off as a man struts up with hat and sunglasses. He talks to her so sweetly that she doesn’t even register the fact that he’s placed a gun on the counter. The rest of his crew burst through the door. Everyone gets to the ground and they detain the guards. He still keeps locked in with the teller who seems attracted to him. He leans in and she leans in as well thinking of kissing him. He tells her to empty the drawers.

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Jul 07 2017
Uncategorized

Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: The Home

The new season of Degrassi is out! Got this one done first.

The Home

Big Band music plays over black and white images depicting life in the 50s. There clips of teenagers dancing and having fun. There is a hard cut to a group of old people in staring at a TV set. No one is moving and it seems like a still picture except for the changing light from the TV. The shot changes to the TV and the show ’60 Minutes’ begins. An orderly walks over and shuts of the TV.

The old people are livid. A fit man in his 70s (Cyrus) stands up to put the TV back on but the orderly tells him to sit down and that there is a change of plans for tonight. An overweight man in his late 80s starts to mutter to himself “I can’t miss 60 Minutes… I can’t miss …”. A woman (Rose) puts her hand on the man’s shoulders and says “You know how much Fred needs his routine. He hasn’t missed an episode in years!” The orderly shrugs and puts a VHS copy of West Side Story into the VCR and says “We wanted to treat all of you with one of your favorite movies… and ice cream!” At that other workers bring in a cart of ice cream.
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Jul 07 2017
Fake Movie Friday

Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Judd, Judy, and Executioner

Totally forgot about the whole “maybe I’ll pre-write these” idea. So here I am on a train back to NYC on a Friday. Tigs is love. Tigs is life. This is a quick one.

Judd, Judy, and Executioner

Judd and Judy are in high school and were the best of friends. They grew up together and spend a lot of time hanging out, though platonically. We get the sense that Judy is into Judd but he’s a bit oblivious. Judd’s basement is full of computers parts and such and they are both nerdy. They are creating a video game together named Executioner. Judy announces suddenly that she has to go because she has a date with Travis, a cooler older kid.

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