Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Connect 4

No Tigs on g-chat when I want to start this so I’m going back to some old suggestions. Which means yet another board game named film.

Connect 4

We quickly cut between three different people traveling. Todd is driving, bluetooth headset in his ear yelling about some meeting. Tiffany is driving while crying. Her phone is buzzing next to her with the name Chris, but she is ignoring it. Carlos is on a bike weaving through traffic on a delivery. They all crash as they swerve to avoid a young woman in the street who runs off.

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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: House of Reanimator

I’m so ashamed I missed last week. I think this one is worth the wait though. There was talk of making this movie during the Bush years but it never actually happened. I think it’s much more appropriate now. I wrote an outline for this movie a few weeks ago and some stuff happened since then that makes a scene in this not make any sense but I decided to leave it in. Let me know if you pick it out.

House of Reanimator

It’s a close up of an older man’s face with really bad hair. The camera zooms out to reveal that the man is in a robe with DT monogrammed on it. We then see that he is sitting on a gold toilet. The camera continues back. The man grabs his chest. “But I have the best heart! Really, a stupendous heart.” He slumps down. The camera continues back and we see the bathroom is connected to the Oval Office. The camera pulls back further, through the wall revealing the White House.

Title Card
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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Candy Land

I’ve been remembering this for a couple weeks now but this is a Friday in which I am very glad I set a Google reminder for this. Tigs isn’t on Gchat. Went back in our convo and remembered last week’s suggestions were all board games. So here we go.

Candy Land

We open in a candy throne room. An adorable little king and subjects sing a cute song about candy and being happy. Darkness creeps in and an evil sorcerer named Count Cavity enters to screams. He takes the king hostage and says he is taking over. A young prince, Toff Butterworth, is whisked away quietly being told that he needs to find the hero of destiny, a young girl true of heart, who will save the land using candy powers. We jump cut to Jake, a Seth Rogen type, snoring in bed.

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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: The Slow Creeping Hand of Death

Title this week from Pete. I wanted to make this 200 words… it ended up being over 800…

The Slow Creeping Hand of Death

We start out in a jail. One of the inmates is in a fight with like 20 others. He’s beats them all, getting badly bruised and cut, then is thrown in solitary. A guard says something about “making the most of his last days.”

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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Pop the Pig

Hey gang! I gchatted Tigs some titles and he said “Sorry.” I thought he was going to say he wouldn’t be writing one and that is when he said “Chutes and Ladders, Monopoly, Candyland, Life, Twister, Guess Who…” Those last three are already movies. All very similar- Life was about race in southern prison system, Guess who about race relations within growing families, and Twister was about a race with nature. He then gave me this suggestion; a game I’ve come to learn is about feeding a pig until it explodes. This film will not be about that. It will instead also be about race.

Pop the Pig

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Movie Movie Podcast #69: 2016 Oscars and Top Ten of the Year

It’s that time of the year again and that means it’s time for a new podcast! Join Alex, Russ, Peter and myself as we talk about the 2016 Oscars and give our top ten films of the year on this episode of the Movie Movie Podcast. Recorded on February 20th, 2017.

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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Just One More Day

I haven’t had a chance to read Pete’s entry yet, but he said it was a sad one. So is mine.

Just One More Day.

It’s 1996 and George and his girlfriend Lily are on a road trip to the Grand Canyon. They are both in College but have been together since junior high. George had a ring in his pocket and is planning to propose when they get there. They make small talk and share loving glances. George gives a joyful smile as a tractor trailer truck comes out of nowhere and sideswipes them.

George wakes up in present day. He looks rough for his age. He is a high school gym teacher at the same high school he went to as a kid. He doesn’t interact with the other teachers and eats his lunch at his desk every day. He has a spark of emotion when he is coaching the wrestling team. He is acting aloof but it is clear that he is enjoying himself. One of the students named Tim gives him a hard time. Tim isn’t really making an effort during the drills, and when George takes him aside he gives him attitude, and under his breath calls him a loser. It really strikes a nerve.
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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Endless Sunshine

Title comes from last nights Pig Pile. I’m starting this at 8:15 am. Let’s hope it makes sense!

Endless Sunshine

We open on an oil drill. Things start rumbling and men are running around frantic as oil is struck. The camera pulls back to a group of protesters and we settle on one attractive looking 20-something, Rebekah, who is really sad. She heads home on a bicycle to a shared apartment. Her friends there convince her to come out with them. She agrees and they start to party. She meets this attractive dude, Curtis, who is out celebrating with friends and they hit it off. She talks about how much she loves the sun and that she wishes she wishes she could live in perpetual sunshine.

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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Flapper

Haven’t missed a day yet! I finished this one up watching The Big Sleep.

Flapper

It is 1927 and Cyrus, a stockbroker is sitting at his desk at work. His desk is immaculate. He is called into his bosses office. Cyrus is overly eager talking with his boss, really buttering him up and humblebragging. His boss cuts him off and says he should calm down, he got the promotion.

Cyrus is overjoyed. At exactly 5pm he gets up to go home but his coworkers stop him. They are bros and say they are taking him out to celebrate, and one whispers that they will get him drunk. Cyrus protests as it is against the law but is finally convinced.

The coworkers take him to a speakeasy. He feels out of place but warms up after a few drinks. A gorgeous woman catches his eye. She is dressed in typical flapper attire but the lighting makes it seem like she is the only one there. He continues to look over at her for a while until she notices him, stares him down then laughs and gives him a military salute. Cyrus looks away sheepishly.
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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Barrel of Monkeys

I saw John Wick Chapter 2 last night and frankly nothing in the world could possibly compare to the joy and excitement I felt/ continue to feel. But it’s Fake Movie Friday and that means I have work to do. This is a bit of a mad caper, lots of characters and shitty comedy bits that I won’t be flushing out. Title comes from a bunch of great ones Tigs gave me last week. The Sharon Stone to my Albert Brooks.

Barrel of Monkeys

We open on complete darkness. A mechanical hatch opens above us and we see the outline of some cargo, specifically a barrel where our focus stays. A crane comes in and picks it up and we find ourselves on the docks of NYC. The barrel is brought off the ship and loaded into the back of a truck with some other goods. The truck drives off. It is stopped by a man, who we’ll come to know as Sam, who hijacks it. He’s pretty polite while he does it.

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