Author Archives: johnnytigs

Fake Movie Friday: Hard Reboot

Colm gave me the title and helped out with the ideas, though I forgot most everything we talked about specifically and was too lazy to check out our Gchat conversation. I do love this title:

Hard Reboot

The year is 2245 and the world is united. We no longer rely on oil, coal, gas or other forms of current unclean energy and instead are using the perpetual rotation of the Earth to generate unlimited energy with a device we call The Core, which sits below the Earths surface. Automatons and humans live together in harmony, the robots are responsible for much of the manual labor. Without warning a giant ship appears over the earth and begins to drain the energy from The Core and have taken control of it. The robots stop working, factories are ground to a halt, most electronics no longer work (but there are still some battery-powered things), and the world is in a panic.

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Fake Movie Friday: Tramp Stamp Collector

Looks like I’m working late on a Friday night, so I might as well use a bit of this time to write my FMF. I’m thinking this is like Cabin in the Woods meets The Apparition meets Resident Evil Extinction. I asked for a suggestion at last nights Pig Pile (were you there? You should have been) and the title I got was:

Tramp Stamp Collector

We open on the bloodshot eye-ball of a victim, Lindsay. She appears to have just woken up and starts to look around. She is beaten, bloodied and wearing a bikini. The room she is in has a very cold, steal feel about it, similar to something you would find in the Saw series. Just to drive that point home, as we pull out from Lindsay’s frame we see the bodies of multiple girls, all of similar ages, laying dead on the floor. Some decapitated bodies, etc, smash cut to the title screen. Continue reading

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Movie Movie Podcast #33: A Good Day To Talk About The Oscars

The Academy Awards are only a few days away, so it’s time you hear the REAL winners from us, the Movie Movie Podcast. Spoiler: Lockout wins EVERYTHING (double spoiler: that’s not true). Oh right, we talk about the new Die Hard too. Join Alex, Russ, Peter and myself as we share our opinions about the nominees for the 85th Academy Awards and very quickly say some shit about A Good Day to Die Hard. Recorded on February 20th 2013.

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Fake Movie Friday: Mirror Image

Ice-T has a new book coming out, his first foray (is that the right word?) into the world of fiction writing, in May titled Mirror Image that I just got a advance copy of. Colm then suggested I use that title for my FMF this week. So I bring you:

Mirror Image

Some high school, Middle America. Stacey is completely uncool. Half of the time it seems like there is no reason for it. Her friend Heather is extraordinarily popular with everyone. When Heather is in a group of people, Stacey will just leave them be and maybe wave. Heather’s friends will always make fun of Stacey, but Heather defends her though she won’t stop hanging out with those people. Stacey is a brunette, short, stocky, with curly hair, acne, glasses and brown eyes. Heather is a medium height blonde with pale blue eyes, straight hair and perfect complexion.

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Fake Movie Friday Submissions: The Littlest Werewolf

Hurray! Lisa LoFaso has submitted her first Fake Movie Friday! Thanks Lisa! Keep ’em coming:
So I gave this premise to Tigs around Halloween but he said I had to write it and I never finished it. So now, here is my first attempt at a Fake Movie Friday. Hopefully it doesn’t suck too bad.
The Littlest Werewolf

Fake Movie Friday: Fever Dream Monsters

So I think I did a similar movie two weeks or so ago (and plenty of times before that), but no one read it so whatever. Colm gave me the title:

Fever Dream Monsters

Rachel has just moved into a small, pastoral, midwestern town. Very few of the other towns folk like her, and she’s not incredibly likable anyway. She very standoffish and stands out even more because of her all black, goth appearance. She opened up a tattoo parlor there, Evil Ink, in hopes to freak out some citizens and attract others. Which it does. The small fan base she has are other outcasts from the town, and mostly younger than Rachel. She seems to attract the high school emo kids and those coming back from college. Continue reading

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Movie Movie Podcast #32: Bullet Bodies

We made it through the January lull and now we’re knee deep in the February slump! The year can only get better from here, right? Right!?!?! Join Peter, Russ, Alex and myself as we play good cop / bad cop with Bullet to the Head, leave Warm Bodies for dead and discuss our favorite Super Bowl trailers (spoiler: Fast 6 is best). Recorded on February 6th 2013.

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Movie Movie Podcast #31: Squad Stand

Welcome to the new year and what better way to start it off then a month late and with the Movie Movie Podcast! This year looks to be… well let’s just hope for the best but root for the worst. Join Alex, Pete, Russ and myself as we gush over The Last Stand and put out a hit on Gangster Squad. Weak, I know. Oh, and news. Random, right? Recorded on January 30th 2013.

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Fake Movie Friday – Night of the Gargoyles

Colm comes up with another classic title. I’m not sure what he wanted here, but we’re gonna continue the story, something that we’ve all been waiting for. How weird can I make this?

Night of the Gargoyles

Present day New York City, cold, blistering winds, we’re in the year 2013 but it could be 2012 for all we know. After the events or 1996, when the Manhattan Clan of Gargoyles were both outed to the human world and accepted, people have forgotten about them. The world turned on them after the events of September 11th 2001, the Gargoyles were unable to stop the terrorist attack, as it happened during the day time and they were already turned to stone at that point. There are lots of newspaper articles that flash on the screen that show people no longer trust the Gargoyles. So they went into hiding in plain sight and the people of the city, and of the world, forgot about them. Even the other clans around the world went into hiding after what happened. Ex-cop Elisa Maza has been disgraced, shunned and let go from the force with no pension all because of her hopes and beliefs in the creatures, and she believes that we need them now more than ever. Too bad she is homeless and just shouting on the sidewalks, so no one believes her.  Continue reading

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Fake Movie Friday: Bloodied Promises

I had to take a sick day today. I was finally able to stand up without throwing up at around 3 pm, which is also when I finally removed myself from my bed for the time being. I’m gonna try and write this one quick so I can go lay down again. As per usual Colm has bestowed upon me a great title:

Bloodied Promises

Brothers Mike and Jack have always been getting in trouble together. As kids they would play pranks on their fellow students and teachers, family members and friends. It was always the two of them vs the world. There is some scene of them as kids promising to always stick together. Continue reading

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