Author Archives: peter

Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Thieves in the Night

I started this on my phone earlier and accidentally deleted it. Trust me, the original opening was beautiful. Title from Tigs! It’s been a while since I’ve written one this long. Sorry.

Thieves in the Night

A young boy sets up a pair of binoculars on his windowsill. He’s watching a cornfield across the street. The wind blows the stalks aside and he sees a shadow in them. He gets scared but looks again and this time there is no wind but they continue to move as if something is traveling through them. He jumps over to his bed hiding as he hears the creaking of wood outside his window. He rolls out of bed to hid under it trying to get his flashlight on until something grabs him and pulls him out. He tries to scream but a strange shadowy hand covers his mouth.

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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Ice Cream Socialite

Title from Tigs after he gave me a couple Fate of The Furious flavored ones. I don’t think I’m ready to open that can of worms so here we go instead.

Ice Cream Socialite

Clarissa wakes up in her fancy NYC park side penthouse. Her older husband is already in a suit ready to head to work. He tells her that he will be out of town for a day or two. They have a discussion that borders on argument that they have clearly done before about how she is bored but he doesn’t want her to work. We get the sense that she has bigger ideas and dreams. She heads out to the park and runs into a huge line of people at an ice cream cart.

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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: The Master’s Master

Let’s get right into this one. This is something I say when I don’t quite have an idea yet but I want to start typing. Title comes from a list Tigs texted me last week on a plane.

The Master’s Master

Peng is a young Chinese teen studying Kung Fu in a time that comes before now (zero research y’all). He is the star pupil out of a very small group training with Master Zhou. His best friend is Luke, a white European because Hollywood is afraid this movie won’t make money without one.

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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Sheep’s Clothing

I’m writing this on a plane! I’ve now written FMFs on trains, in cars, in bars, on the toilet, and now a plane. I need to write one on a boat next. Also this plane has the Arnold classic ‘The Running Man’ so I’m having the best time. Did you know: The Running Man takes place in 2017? Title is from Tigs who is about 8 rows behind me.

Sheep’s Clothing

Kara is driving her car through a terrible storm. She passes a sign that says ‘State Penitentiary’. The storm knocks her off the road and a tornado is seen in the distance.

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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Crime Brûlée

It’s only week 19 and I’m already debating about how long I will be doing this for. Luckily I got some titles from Tigs and he threw this absolute gem at me and I’m energized.

Crime Brûlée

Chef Harold is the talk of the town. He is a famous dessert chef who does guest spots at fancy restaurants and talk shows. He is working on opening his own line of shops. He returns home to his fancy apartment to find his younger brother Todd waiting for him. Todd is a career criminal and is coming to Harold for money. Harold sends him away when he learns it’s for putting a job together.

Shortly after this night Harold is meeting with his financial advisor when he learns Mr. McGuffin, a wealthy investor of his has used him and stolen the money for the shops. Harold is angry and ignored by McGuffin who says it was just business. Harold flirts with McGuffin’s sexy assistant. Harold is lost for a solution until he realizes that he should track down his brother. That maybe crime is the answer.

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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Pot Hole

Title from Pig Pile last night means no more board games. I may not have work today but my dad is staying at my place and finding time for this may be difficult. He’s in the shower. Let’s bang some of this out. This film will also try and solve racism, but in a terrible Gran Torino style.

Pothole

Title card is displayed on a black screen as we hear cars going by. We start to hear the scraping of metal and clanks of them hitting potholes. An old grizzled man, Franklin, awakens in his bed to the noise. He looks annoyed as he slowly gets himself up and dressed. His house is tidy but bland. He sits down to make a phone call and the 311 operator, Derek, recognizes his voice. They chat as he complains again about the pothole as he does every morning. The two seem to have a friendship.

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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Connect 4

No Tigs on g-chat when I want to start this so I’m going back to some old suggestions. Which means yet another board game named film.

Connect 4

We quickly cut between three different people traveling. Todd is driving, bluetooth headset in his ear yelling about some meeting. Tiffany is driving while crying. Her phone is buzzing next to her with the name Chris, but she is ignoring it. Carlos is on a bike weaving through traffic on a delivery. They all crash as they swerve to avoid a young woman in the street who runs off.

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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Candy Land

I’ve been remembering this for a couple weeks now but this is a Friday in which I am very glad I set a Google reminder for this. Tigs isn’t on Gchat. Went back in our convo and remembered last week’s suggestions were all board games. So here we go.

Candy Land

We open in a candy throne room. An adorable little king and subjects sing a cute song about candy and being happy. Darkness creeps in and an evil sorcerer named Count Cavity enters to screams. He takes the king hostage and says he is taking over. A young prince, Toff Butterworth, is whisked away quietly being told that he needs to find the hero of destiny, a young girl true of heart, who will save the land using candy powers. We jump cut to Jake, a Seth Rogen type, snoring in bed.

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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Pop the Pig

Hey gang! I gchatted Tigs some titles and he said “Sorry.” I thought he was going to say he wouldn’t be writing one and that is when he said “Chutes and Ladders, Monopoly, Candyland, Life, Twister, Guess Who…” Those last three are already movies. All very similar- Life was about race in southern prison system, Guess who about race relations within growing families, and Twister was about a race with nature. He then gave me this suggestion; a game I’ve come to learn is about feeding a pig until it explodes. This film will not be about that. It will instead also be about race.

Pop the Pig

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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: Endless Sunshine

Title comes from last nights Pig Pile. I’m starting this at 8:15 am. Let’s hope it makes sense!

Endless Sunshine

We open on an oil drill. Things start rumbling and men are running around frantic as oil is struck. The camera pulls back to a group of protesters and we settle on one attractive looking 20-something, Rebekah, who is really sad. She heads home on a bicycle to a shared apartment. Her friends there convince her to come out with them. She agrees and they start to party. She meets this attractive dude, Curtis, who is out celebrating with friends and they hit it off. She talks about how much she loves the sun and that she wishes she wishes she could live in perpetual sunshine.

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