Category Archives: Fake Movie Friday

Aug 10 2012
Fake Movie Friday

Fake Movie Friday: Knockout Nanny

Did you ever see Mr Nanny? Yeah I still watch it all the time. Kind of like that. Or The Pacifier, etc etc etc.

I present for your reading pleasure: Knockout Nanny

Julie has been the nanny for the Henderson’s for 5 years now. She’s 29, handles 13 year old Niles and the 7 year old Amanda very well. They both love her and she them. Mr Henderson, Jeffry (played by Hank Azaria), works long hours for the government on top secret projects. Mrs Henderson, Rachel, is an alcoholic, but a lovable, competent one who has more hilarious situations than disastrous.

There are scenes of Julie chasing the kids around, getting them ready for school, Rachel is passed out at the kitchen table and Jeff is running out the door. Julie is able to drive the kids to school, go grocery shopping and keep the Henderson’s life sane. She is also a black belt in muay thai kickboxing. We see scenes of her in her gym training with her master, Jin. Continue reading →

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Aug 10 2012
Fake Movie Friday

Fake Movie Friday: 10:10

So I’m waiting for Zach to get here and we are going to go golfing. The trains are slow and I’ve decided to write a paranoid film in the style of 1408. REMEMBER 1408?! Cusack! Hotel Room! F it, this will be the reteaming of John Cusack and Samuel L. Jackson. This is my most Tigs film.

10:10

The movie starts with our main character, John Cusack, on the phone with his friend, Samuel L. Jackson, one night. They are making plans to go golfing the next day as Cusack is making a pot of sleepy time tea. Samuel L. makes fun of him as Cusack slips a bit spilling the hot water on the stove. Samuel says he’ll be at John’s at 1030. John hangs up and walks away. He gets ready for bed and passes by a clock. The clock reads 10:10.
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Aug 10 2012
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Fake Movie Friday

Dream

With the Olympics coming to an end this week, I figure what better time to release a sports film as potential oscarbait.  If you’ve seen Miracle, this is basically that same movie, and it will be directed by Gavin O’Connor.  Because it’s a sports film, most of the players will be played by relative-unknowns because it’s much easier than finding several 6ft + actors who realistically pull off the part.  I haven’t done anything inspired by a true story yet, so here we go!

Dream opens with a young David Robinson sitting on the bench in 1988 during a tough game against the Soviet Union.  It’s the Olympics in Seoul Korea, and the U.S. Mens team is getting blown out of the water.  Their coach is some scumbag looking type of guy played by Kim Coates, who chews his gum incessantly and clearly doesn’t want to be there.  David asks to be put in the game, because he can help, and the coach ignores him.  As time winds down, we see the final score is Soviets 130, US 67.  They got blown out.  David walks out of the gym and says “We have to get better.  I believe we can.  I DREAM we can” and the title card and really inspiring music comes highlighting Dream in the center of a rotating basketball.

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Aug 03 2012
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Fake Movie Friday

Fake Movie Friday: Cereal Killer

This weeks movie I was trying to do something clever, but ended up not. Toucan was supposed to be both the detective and killer but  anyway, without further ado:

Cereal Killer

Toucan Sam get’s a call at 9 in the morning. There’s been a triple homicide. He arrives at the scene to find Snap, Crackle and Pop brutally murdered. The rest of the officers are all humans, and he is just walking around doing his job. He inspects the area but there doesn’t appear to be any evidence left behind.

He heads back to the office to start his write up, and in the middle of him finishing the paper work he receives another call. The Yummy Mummy was found hanging from a lamp-post outside of his condo. Sam heads over and starts to inspect. He finds a Cap’n Crunch whistle on the ground and decides it’s time to visit the Cap.

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Aug 03 2012
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Fake Movie Friday

Fake Movie Friday: Rosie Bloom

So I sat down to write this and the trailer for that dumb looking movie ‘The Odd Life of Timothy Green’ popped into my head. I said to myself I could crank out a piece of crap magic family movie like that. Turns out I can. I present-

Rosie Bloom

Movie opens on elementary school field. Kids are running around for gym class playing soccer. The ball is kicked over the goal and rolls to a young girl sitting at the edge of the woods. Her name is Poem and she is alone drawing in a notebook. She is new in town and has no friends. The other kids make fun of her, especially over her very stupid name and art fascination.
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Aug 03 2012
4 Comments
Fake Movie Friday

Fake Movie Friday Submissions: Award Winning

Andrew Dunn:

So I watched Airplane! and Hots Shots Part Deux recently and they just don’t make spoofs like they used to. In fact, they tend to make spoofs like this:

Award Winning

The trailer proclaims that the film is from the makers of Epic Movie, Meet the Spartans, Disaster Movie and Vampires Suck. It says that it has won the Audience Award from Miss Poppers fifth grade class, A gold medal in men’s 100m freestyle, and a Nobel prize in Economics. The trailer ends with the voice over guy saying “Award” then it cuts to Charlie Sheen surrounded by women in Bikinis who says “Winning!”. On to the film.
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Aug 03 2012
2 Comments
Fake Movie Friday

Fake Movie Friday – The Caan Men

The Caan Men is a self-referential big hollywood action buddy film starring none other than James and Scott Caan playing themselves.

The film opens up at the premiere of the latest Oceans film, Oceans 15 (I’m calling 15, just incase 14 actually happens, and it probably will) at Mann’s Chinese Theater .  We see tons of celebrity cameo’s on the E! red carpet.  Ryan Seacrest is in the middle of interviewing George Clooney and Brad Pitt and they are hamming it up talking about how the film is a real piece of art or something, all the while, no one wants to interview Scott Caan.  For whatever reason, Pauly Shore has a cameo at this point telling Caan to get used to it.  Guys like them will never get the big interviews. Scott is obviously dejected, but he attempts to interrupt an interview with Seacrest and Matt Damon and it comes off as really pathetic.  He starts talking about how he’s on Hawaii 5-0 while drunk and everyone just sorta tries and play along, but at the same time get him off the camera.  He then stumbles on the red carpet spilling his drink on Matt Damon, who flips out on him.  Casey Affleck rescues Scott from his embarassment and tells Scott to just hang out in the bathroom and get himself together.  Scott obliges.  He goes to the bathroom to clean up, and starts drinking from his flask.
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Jul 27 2012
1 Comment
Fake Movie Friday

Fake Movie Friday Submission: M.I.Tchel Cooley

ANDREW DUNN COMING AT YA!

My Fake Movie Friday is basically Revenge of the Nerds meets Billy
Madison because Hollywood loves when movies meet other movies. And yes I know what you all were thinking, I got the last name Cooley from James Cooley co-creator of the Cooley-Tukey Fast Fourier Transform algorithm and Manhattan College Alumni.

M.I.T.chell Cooley

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Jul 27 2012
2 Comments
Fake Movie Friday

Fake Movie Friday: Children of Taft

Sorry I’m late today, but here’s what you’ve been waiting for! The long awaited follow up to the acclaimed film William Taft: Demon Slayer click the link to read part one if you missed it or want a refresher! Enjoy!

Children of Taft

We open exactly where William Taft Demon Slayer left off. It’s 1930, Former President Taft has just exploded unleashing a mass of demons and his three children Robert, Helen, and Charles prepare to fight them.
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Jul 27 2012
1 Comment
Fake Movie Friday

Fake Movie Friday: Human Nature

Has anyone here ever seen the Twilight Zone episode “The Howling Man”? No? Do you remember anything about The Fountain? No? Good, then this will all be new for you…

I submit for your approval, Human Nature

We open with a monologue from main character Michael, he sounds disgruntled and a little crazy. Something along the lines of, “I’ve been chasing him for years, decades, centuries. I’ve been chasing him as long as time itself has existed. Civilizations have grown and collapsed, and I’ve seen it all happen. Anyone I ever grew to care about has died, so I’ve learned to care about no person and only my mission. There is nothing more important to me than to rid this world of all of its impurities and capture the devil.”

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