Category Archives: Fake Movie Friday

Fake Movie Friday Submissions: The Curse of Poltergeist

 Here’s our good friend Andrew Dunn with our very first Fake Movie Friday submission. Enjoy

Inspired by ‘The Making of Psycho’ I figured I’d create another making of movie but for a film that actually has some behind the scenes drama.  There is controversy to this day over how much of ‘Poltergeist’ Spielberg directed versus the credited director Tobe Hooper.  Add to that the “curse” of Poltergeist.  Many (read ‘idiots’) believe the deaths of multiple actors associated with the film is evidence of a paranormal curse.  So here goes.

The Curse of Poltergeist

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FAKE MOVIE FRIDAY: Helios

Though it was beautiful, in the end ‘Prometheus’ turned out to be an unnecessary prequel. It did little to explain what it was meant to. It just as well could have been another film. I’m going to do the same thing for Fake Movie Friday today. Here’s my prequel to ‘Pitch Black.’

Helios

We open on a small colony of Terra-formers on the planet from ‘Pitch Black.’ A few men are spilling out of a bar fighting. A single gunshot is heard and they turn to find our main character Davis, played by Zoe Saldana. The men stop fighting and are clearly a bit scared of her. She’s chief of security and a total hard-ass. Davis is her last name so you know she’s tough as NAILS!
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Fake Movie Friday – Roughrunna

It’s been a while since Guy Ritchie made a straight up dark comedy with his style of action, so I’m going to make one.

Roughrunna stars Jason Statham as Liverpool Football Club star Lynn “Roughrunna” Bailey.  He’s one of the stars of the English Premiere League.  He’s the badboy.  There are a lot of early quick cuts of him kicking balls into goals, cheering, drinking, snorting coke in bathrooms and having sex with prostitutes.  Lynn appears to have it all.  He even makes money on his own matches by placing bets with local bookie Wallace “Pounds” Craven.  They call him “Pounds” because if you lose a bet and don’t pay him, he’ll get his pound of flesh (cut your bollocks off).  Pounds is played by Tom Wilkinson, and his muscle Opie is played by Vinnie Jones.  Anyway, we get the hint through a lot of incomprehensible cockney accents that Lynn is having money trouble.  His girlfriend Mary, played by Ruth Wilson, wants him to stop gambling and instead use whatever little money he has left to open up a Fish and Chips Shop.  We see that Lynn’s other talent outside of soccer is cooking.  He idolizes Gordon Ramsay, who later on has a cameo in the film.  Anyway, Mary tells him that if he doesn’t quit betting she’ll leave him.

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Fake Movie Friday: The Quarterback Kid

It’s midnight and another Fake Movie Friday is upon us! I know the suspense has been killing you, which is why we’re starting so early. Enjoy! (Sorry for the length…again)

 

The Quarterback Kid

 

Billy, played by Cameron Bright, has just entered his freshman year of high school in a town he just moved to. He has made only one friend, another social outcast Daryl played by Daryl Sabara. His father Chaz, played by Matthew Fox(or if he’s not available Hank Azaria), is an ex pro quarterback and now owns used car dealerships in 3 states. They are opening their new super lot, in Michigan someplace, and Chaz needed to be close to this new location.

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Fake Movie Friday and YOU!

Hey there Movie Movie Fan Fans!

We really hope you’ve been enjoying Fake Movie Friday. It’s become our favorite day of the week here at the site. It’s constantly the busiest day on the site.

Now we are looking for your help!
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Fake Movie Friday – The Little Zombie

This week I had no idea what the hell to make a shitty diapery movie about this week, until I started listening to Zombie by The Cranberries.  Then it came to me: A movie about zombies for kids!

In 2040, the world has been ravaged by war and nuclear fallout.  97% of the population in the world has been killed as a result.  One unintended side-effect of the war is that once the radiation began devastating the land, with it came the zombie plague.  Apparently zombies can be created by taking perfectly normal people and exposing them to radiation.  That is necessary for this movie.  Ok so there are very few uninfected humans left on earth, and the zombies have begun banding together to, like families to find the humans and feast on them so that they can survive.

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Fake Movie Friday – The Computer Whisperer

Welp. Another week and I have nothing for this weeks #FMF. So…. here’s another title I have written down in an old notebook:

The Computer Whisperer

Let’s make this quick because this idea does’t deserve much space…(Spoiler: it’s so fucking long still)

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Fake Movie Friday- William Taft: Demon Slayer

‘Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter’ comes out in two weeks. I think Seth Grahame-Smith is bullshit. Let’s see how easy it is to write one of these stink burgers. I’m doing no research on this, other than looking up the circumstances of his death, birth year, and wife and children info.

William Taft: Demon Slayer

We open on a woman running through the woods. Its 1857, and she’s being pursued by men with torches. She looks terrified and upon making it to the river we see she is carrying a child. She lays him down in a basket.

“No one will hurt you. My beautiful Tafty.”

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Fake Movie Friday – Prefontaine 2: Blade Runner

Welp… Yeah… the title says it all. I’ve got nothing for this week. Not that I ever have something any other week. I had this title written down in an old notebook. This is by far the worst FMF yet, there is no real story arc or anything and I still wrote too much it. Not to mention this is probably the only FMF we’ve done that could not become an actual film.

Before we start, the poster for this will be similar to Weird Al’s Running With Scissors album cover.

For reference:

Moving on…

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Fake Movie Friday: A Thousand Monkeys

Here’ s another movie that sounds so dumb but so real at the same time. I actually think the basic premise is a bit genius, and I’m ashamed to admit that. It started first as just a basic Kevin James talking animal film but, in a lovely twist of events, became more about the infinite monkey theorem. Enjoy.

A Thousand Monkeys

The film opens with a montage of an older woman doing work one morning around the house. She is doing laundry, which clearly belongs to a male. She is picking up toys around the house. She is cooking a big breakfast where the food is shaped like a smiley face. We see pictures on the wall of a little kid chronicling his history with a silly kids newspaper. The mother calls up to her son, Frank, as the camera zooms up the stair and into a room filled with toys and newspaper stuff (I don’t know what this means, I added the newspaper stuff at the end when I couldn’t think of a wrap up). The camera turns towards the bed and we see Frank, played by Jonah Hill, in a bed way to small for him snoring.
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