Fake Movie Friday: The Clockwork King

It’s a new year, 2013 (the year of the lull) is over and it’s time for 2014 (the year of…um… I’ll get back to you on that one). I haven’t written a FMF in almost a year, Pete has been holding down the fort for all of us, which is why I looked to him for the title of my first FMF back in action. I give you:

The Clockwork King

We open on an old toyshop. An elderly old man is working diligently to fix up an old animated king doll. The gears look like the inner workings of a Grandfather Clock. Finally the old man finishes, dusts off the king, puts him in a shelf, turns out the light and closes up shop for the evening. The king then opens his eyes, looks around the shop, tests out his limbs to make sure everything is working and then jumps off the shelf.

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Fake Movie Friday: Bear Song

Greetings all! Hope everyone is enjoying their holiday season. I’m talking about Oscar-bait season of course. Did everyone’s grandmothers see the Book Thief? All my films this month have been sad and serious with a “great deal” of “Oscar potential.” Keeping that going this week with a wonderful title from a wonderful Tigs.

Bear Song

We open in the past as a  Native American infant sits alone in the woods by a stream. It’s mother is by the water filling a jug. Behind him we see a large bear begin to approach. The infant begins to cry and we see the mother drop the water and start coming towards it. The woman begins to sing a song quietly and the bear stops. She stands in between the child and the bear and continues to sing. The bear turns and walks off.

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Fake Movie Friday: The Old Dragon

Hi friends! Last night at Pig Pile someone suggested The Matchmaker, which is already a Janeane Garolalo film from 1997. As I stated this on stage it was a crushing realization of what my life is like. Then someone said this title so let’s concentrate a bit more on the task at hand and less about my knowledge of late 90s romantic comedies.

The Old Dragon

We open on a small Kentucky town. There is a siren going off and people are running into the streets looking up at the mountain. There is a rumbling heard as the people come together looking frightened. We time jump ahead a bit as a young boy, Arnold,  walks through the woods. The wind starts to blow around him and a large shadow creeps above him. We hear the sound of huge wings breaking the air as he cowers in fear.

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Fake Movie Friday: Scratching Hogs

So my company had our 3rd quarter regional meeting/holiday party today. I wrote this during the meeting and am now pretty drunk to type it out. This title comes from a very strange story that was a part of the meeting today.

Scratching Hogs

Movie opens on Davie, a young boy sitting on the fence of a hog pen. He is scratching the back of a large hog.The camera pans behind him and we see  the farm he lives on. In the driveway is a beat up old truck but then a much fancier car. We hear arguing from the house.

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Fake Movie Friday: Two Dogs

So I had panicked last week as the always dependable Tigs was not getting back to me on Gchat. In my desperation I turned to Adam. Little did i know, while I was writing last weeks Tigs had sent me a huge list of titles. He is a god amoungst men. I’ve decided to take one of the simpler titles since I haven’t written a kids film in quite some time.

Two Dogs

We open on Sam, a small boy sitting in a tiny black suit in the middle of a room of people in suits. We over hear them talking about his parents recently died in a car accident and how it is such a tragedy. We hear that it will be Sam’s uncle Jack who will be taking him in. Sam just sits there without expression. (KIDS FILM!)

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Fake Movie Friday: Ringo Starr’s The Drummer

I’m so damn beat.  Only worked half a day and then took a 3 hour nap. I have zero ideas and no answer from Tigs to help me with a title. I am lost. Adam to the rescue, well not really. According to him this is produced by him like “Oprah’s The Butler.” What ever that means, here we go.

Ringo Starr’s The Drummer

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Fake Movie Friday: Reality Bites Back

Title this week comes from the one and only Declan Golden from Pig Pile last night. I spent some time thinking of ideas on the toilet just now and I’ve decided on this one. Instead of just a sequel to Reality Bites. Here we go!

Reality Bites Back

The camera sweep over a futuristic looking city. Flying cars, massive buildings, elevated rail systems are everywhere. Text comes on the screen saying “New York City 2013”

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Movie Movie Podcast #50: Ender’s Dark Years

Happy 50 everyone! Still going strong! Sort of. We just take a lot of breaks. Join Alex, Peter, Russ and myself as we discuss 12 Years a Slave, Ender’s Game, Thor: The Dark World and Bad Grandpa. Recorded on November 13th 2013.

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Fake Movie Friday: Late Again

So Playstation 4 came out yesterday. I talked to Tigs all day and was freaking out waiting for it to get delivered to my office. When it finally did I could not concentrate on ANYTHING. So clearly I forgot about writing a movie. So for the 3rd time in 81 weeks, here is a movie on Saturday

Late Again

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Fake Movie Friday: Marketeers

Originally Tigs gave me some titles that didn’t quite hit me, not for lack of effort on his part. Then he gave me “Black Hole Fun.” I wanted to write it really bad but coudln’t concentrate and just kept singing it STP style. So I went back to the bottomelss well of creativity that is Tigs and came back with this. NO PART OF THIS FILM IS BASED ON FACT, I mean there are dates, but I made up the rest.

Marketeers

Movie opens with Mickey, a WWI vet looking for work in the mid 1920s, California. He has a wife and a new born son at home but is struggling to find much except work as a bouncer. He meets a struggling animator one day who we find is Walt Disney.

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