Tag Archives: The Rock

The “Fast” Franchise and Alphabetical Hell

So we all know the Super Bowl was yesterday and it was a great game, but what was even greater was the Fast and Furious commercial that showed the vehicular mayhem that is going to be unleashed this Memorial Day.  I can’t wait for it.

I only had one tiny issue with the spot:  Why call it Fast and Furious 6?  You’ve created an illogical mess of titling these films over the years, so why go so basic now?  I never thought a franchise could mess names up more than Rambo:

1. First Blood

2. Rambo: First Blood Part 2

3. Rambo III

4. Rambo


The Fast franchise looked at Rambo and decided to get even stupider.  Lets look back at these titles and laugh for a minute:

1. The Fast and The Furious – nothing wrong with this one.  It’s a great title and lets you know what you’ll be in for.

2. 2 Fast 2 Furious – THE GREATEST TITLE IN HISTORY.  It lets you know this is going to be double the stupidity, and double the other stuff you’d like doubled, but it now comes before the first film if you like alphabetizing.

3. The Fast and The Furious: Tokyo Drift – this is a spinoff sidequel, so I really don’t have an issue with this title, but it’ll get hairy later on.  This is technically the last film in the Fast chronology.

4. Fast and Furious – All they did was drop THE from the titles and thats ok!?!? They didn’t even call it Fast and FOURious.  Just dropped a few the’s and called it a day.

5. Fast Five – This title is perfect, cause it’s simple. It’s the 5th Fast movie, so it’s Fast Five.

Up to this point however, I don’t think any of the titles would even be consecutive in a DVD rack.  Now we’re getting

6. Fast and Furious 6 – which yes, I get that it’s the 6th Fast film, but theres only one film up to this point called Fast and Furious, and it’s the 4th film.  So this should technically be Fast and Furious 2

Or you call it Fast 6 cause it’s the 6th Fast movie.  Because it’s definitely not Fast and Furious 6.  Also yes there are 6 Fast movies, but if you take chronological order into account, this would be the 5th film, because Tokyo Drift is the last one.  Or just call it Furiou6

Anyway you slice it, I feel like JJ Abrams and Damon Lindelof have something to do with the titles of these films.  I do hope however that the 7th and final film is titled Furious.  Just Furious. No one would see that coming.

I’ll be the midnight screening of Fast and Furious 6 no matter what.

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Pain And Gain Trailer

Now before we all jump on Michael Bay for making nothing but awful movies, lets remember he directed The Rock, Bad Boys, and one of my favorite action movies of all time, Bad Boys II.  I like that with Pain and Gain he’s getting back to telling a smaller story (by his standards) and it’s set in the 90’s, a time he knows extremely well having been a music video director.

His leads are Mark Wahlberg, Anthony Mackie, and The Rock playing a bunch of juiced-up gym rats.  I’m sold on that alone.

See for yourself:

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Greek Gods & How Hollywood Wants More?

The legend of Greek Demi-God Theseus is being made into a film tentatively titled Theseus.

“Wait, didn’t I already see that movie two years ago or this year when it was called Clash/Wrath of the Titans?” No you didn’t that was about PERSEUS.

“Wait, didn’t I already see that movie last winter when it was called Immortals?” You saw Immortals? Thats weird.  Well then yea you kinda did I guess.

Those are probably the questions that most people would ask when they hear that Hollywood is prepping a big-budget film highlighting that time Theseus fought a Minotaur.

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GI Joe: Retaliation and Why I’m A Fanning Tatum

So since the worst news ever dropped last week that G.I. Joe 2 was being shifted out of it’s prime summer tentpole spot of June 29th, 2012, to the murky waters of March to be retooled for 3D, the only thing I’ve been able to think was, BULLSHIT.  There was absolutely no way it was going to take 9 months to reshoot a film for 3D.  Two years ago when Clash of the Titans (garbage movie) came out, it only took them 6 weeks to convert it for 3D.  There was absolutely no way that Paramount would move a film almost a full year just to add in 3D.  Hell, if they did 8 weeks of reshoots starting last week, they would still be able to get it out this summer and capitalize on August money, which is a notoriously slower box office month.  The only competition I can even think of is The Bourne Legacy and that is an unproven sequel-boot, much like this G.I. Joe film.

Well Deadline.com pretty much broke the news today that everyone suspected.  The G.I. Joe 2 test screenings were doing well with the exception of one major issue: they KILL Duke (Channing Tatum) in the first 15 mins.  This was kind of obvious from looking at the trailers.  They spend no time whatsoever even showing Duke, and they pretty much only highlight The Rock.  I don’t have an issue with that really, but the Box Office certainly would.  Between The Vow and the hilarious 21 Jump Street, Tatum has proven he is a legitimate draw at the box office, so killing him 15 mins in, will subvert any of the good will the movie was already starting to build up.  The fact that he’s not even in the movie enough to use in the ad campaign is telling.  He wasn’t even on the most recent posters, which have pretty much every character on them. So Paramount, caved and have decided not only to convert the movie, but keep Channing Tatum’s character alive long enough so that he can establish a relationship with The Rock.  I hope this all works out cause I think they finally nailed the proper tone for one of these films and I would hate for massive reshoots to turn what looks like a fun movie into a shitburger.

We’ll have to wait and see.


p.s. I like Channing Tatum and I have no arguable reason to back up that statement other than I like Step Up, Step Up 2 The Streets, and 21 Jump Street. One of those three films is good.

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News to Ruin Your Day… in 3D!

‘GI Joe: Retaliation’ was scheduled to come out June 29th, just a little over a month away. Not anymore.

The film is being delayed 9 months until March 2013. The reason for the delay being (loud audible sigh) post 3D conversion. This is awful news.

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Fast Five 2: Furious Casting Rumors

We at  Movie Movie, love nothing more than some good old fashioned casting rumors and what better film to excite us at its possibilities than Fast Six, Fast and Furious 2, The Fast and Furious 3, or whatever the hell it’s going to be called.

What We Know:

Everyone (who matters) from Fast Five is supposedly going to be back and that is awesome.  The Rock will continue his hotstreak of only appearing in sequels but not original films and I am ok with that.  Everyone else just needs to show up and let The Rock do what he does.  It comes out May 24th, 2013 and we can’t stop release dates. But yes, Paul Walker, Vin Diesel, Jordana Brewster, Sung Kang, and Tyrese all appear to be back onboard.

Who Has Been Added:

As of know the only CONFIRMED addition to Fast Six is Gina Carano.  I didn’t see Haywire, the Steven Soderbergh film, but I heard she was decent in it, and I know she can already fight from her MMA days and her stint on the short-lived American Gladiators reboot.  I think she fits the world well as long as she’s like a number two to The Rock’s Luke Hobbs character.  She’d fit something like that well.

Who Has Been Rumored:

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The Mission Impossible Conundrum

Gina Carano is in talks to join the cast of Fast Six. This is of course a perfect move on the production’s part. A tough woman character is needed for that franchise to get more fans now that its not about racing cars, instead of the sexy lady characters the film is populated with.

If there’s on thing all of us here at Movie Movie can agree on, it’s that Fast Five was a masterpiece of action cinema. It worked at a fast pace, had likeable characters, and a good balance of believable and unbelievable stunts. Movies lately seem to want to choose only one path.

I call this the Mission Impossible Conundrum.

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