Author Archives: russ

Taken 2 & Liam Neeson’s Badassery

Liam Neeson has a very specific set of skills.  He’s the toughest older sonuvabitch in Hollywood.  He’s got size and stature and actually looks like he crushes windpipes as a hobby.  It comes as no surprise that the role that got him his start as the premiere older badass, that of Bryan Mills is getting the sequel treatment.  Taken 2 is coming and no one is safe:

Sesame Street: The Movie & Other Bad Ideas

20th Century Fox has picked up the rights to a film based on the 40+ year old Sesame Street television series and plan on turning it into a film.  I guess my first question is: How? The greatness of Sesame Street is that it is one of the first shows to prove that educating kids can also be fun.  It has music, sketches, and commercials that run through each episodes relatively light plot, but it works.  It keeps childrens attention just long enough for them to not realize they are actually learning.  It’s the perfect crime.

I can’t for the life of me imagine how this gets adapted into a film that works.  If the intent is to keep it exactly like the TV show, with music, sketches, and commercials etc., then I can’t imagine that working on film.  Just make a TV special and put it on prime-time or something in the summer.  However, if the intent is to make it into a pure plot driven kids film then I really think this is an uninspired idea.  You basically are mining the franchise purely for the familiarity of Bert, Ernie, Cookie Monster, and Big Bird, but changing the nature of the show.  Maybe I am being overly pessimistic, but I just really don’t see how this works without resorting to stupid sight gags and farts , and a plot featuring an evil old man who wants to close down Hooper’s store or something.  In which case, just give us another referential, self-aware Muppets film.  But they can’t, because Fox doesn’t have those rights, Disney does.

This is where I get confused.  How doesn’t Disney have the rights Sesame Street? They have the Muppets, and the Muppets and Sesame Street characters have pretty much always lived in the same world and cameo’d back and forth.  I can’t believe I’m drawing this parallel, but it’s like Disney has the Avengers and Fox has the Xmen, and never shall the two meet all over again!  Just with characters for kids.  Maybe I’m territorial over Sesame Street because I grew up with it, but I’d much rather see some other property get strip mined.  Wheres Gullah Gullah Island the movie?

Leave Cookie Monster alone!

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Monsters U & How It Got Me

I didn’t love Monsters Inc.  I thought it was cute, but it lost me at the end with the Monsters deciding to make people laugh instead of cry with fear.  Maybe I’m heartless, but whatever.  I did think that the monsters looked cool and that the lil girl was adorable though.  So I was nervous when a Monsters Inc. prequel was greenlit.  Especially considering The Incredibles still has no sequel.  Anyway the fact that this Monsters film is set in college might be fun.  I’d love to see Pixar’s take on what college is like through the lens of the Monsters.  Could be cool, and I like this teaser.

Check it:

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Batman Trailer & What A Fever Pitch Feels Like

They released a new trailer for The Dark Knight Rises, and my only question at this point is: Did you really need to?  This movie has sold out like every screening of it’s first night already.  It’s going to do a MONSTER number.  While I don’t think it will beat Avengers, I do think it will capture the weekend crown.  Stop spending money on dropping new trailers.  I don’t even want to see a trailer at this point.

But if you do:

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The Art of The Teaser & How PTA is The Master

Again.

He did it again.  Paul Thomas Anderson’s newest teaser for his new film The Master, has me effectively captivated.  The score as well with it’s repetitive beats gets me further engrossed in the world.  The teaser is 1:31 long, but has me more into it’s world than whole films.

I think this could be PTA’s big Oscar winner.

Check it out:

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TV to Film Adaptations & How I Don’t Care

Deadwood, Arrested Development, Friday Night Lights, Party Down, Entourage, and now Breaking Bad.  These television shows all have something in common in that they were all excellent.  Deadwood, Arrested, Party Down, and Friday Night Lights never caught on like they should have however, and ended far earlier as a result.  At least FNL and Entourage got to actually finish, which is nice, and Breaking Bad knew ahead of time what it’s end date would be, so we should get closure.

This begs my question:  Why would anyone want to see a movie of any of these television shows?

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Fake Movie Friday – Roughrunna

It’s been a while since Guy Ritchie made a straight up dark comedy with his style of action, so I’m going to make one.

Roughrunna stars Jason Statham as Liverpool Football Club star Lynn “Roughrunna” Bailey.  He’s one of the stars of the English Premiere League.  He’s the badboy.  There are a lot of early quick cuts of him kicking balls into goals, cheering, drinking, snorting coke in bathrooms and having sex with prostitutes.  Lynn appears to have it all.  He even makes money on his own matches by placing bets with local bookie Wallace “Pounds” Craven.  They call him “Pounds” because if you lose a bet and don’t pay him, he’ll get his pound of flesh (cut your bollocks off).  Pounds is played by Tom Wilkinson, and his muscle Opie is played by Vinnie Jones.  Anyway, we get the hint through a lot of incomprehensible cockney accents that Lynn is having money trouble.  His girlfriend Mary, played by Ruth Wilson, wants him to stop gambling and instead use whatever little money he has left to open up a Fish and Chips Shop.  We see that Lynn’s other talent outside of soccer is cooking.  He idolizes Gordon Ramsay, who later on has a cameo in the film.  Anyway, Mary tells him that if he doesn’t quit betting she’ll leave him.

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Resident Evil 5 & How I Stopped Caring After 1

Paul W.S. Anderson and Len Wiseman have now made a combined NINE Underworld and Resident Evil films, eight of which, star their wives.  This is two things:

1) Nepotism

2) and a shame because all of the movies in either franchise are terrible late winter/early fall dumps that no one cares about, yet somehow keep getting sequels.

There are so many excellent ideas out their dying to get greenlit, much less, sequeled, but somehow we are about to get a 5th Resident Evil.  I’m not even going to get into how they have gone so far off the reservation in terms of the plot of the videogames because that is a rant for another day, but this trailer looks atrocious.  I used to think Milla Jovovich was better than this, but maybe she isn’t?  i can’t remember the last film she made that wasn’t a P. W.S. Anderson joint.

Anyway, check out the trailer below:

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Lone Ranger & Why Bloated Budgets Need To Stop

So Disney’s planned Lone Ranger film has been through the budgetary ringer.  Originally, It was slated to be about 250 million, not including marketing, then it was shut down.  Then it was negotiated down to 215 million and back on.  Now it is being reported that the budget has soared back up to 250 million, and it is weeks behind schedule.  This has to stop. Yes I am well aware that Johnny Depp is typically a franchise cash cow and Disney still wants it “new Pirates” franchise, but you have to stop and think about at what cost.

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Catching Fire Casting and Actors Who Slum It?

So it’s being reported that an offer is out for Philip Seymour Hoffman to star as Plutarch “it begins at Midnight”  Heavensbee  in the next Hunger Games film Catching Fire to be directed by Francis Lawrence.  While I can’t really picture him as Plutarch, the head gamesmaker in the 75th Hunger Games, I have no doubt that he’d be able to do a fantastic job.   The only thing is that he is not what I would have thought for the character.

I guess I can be in on the casting commentary now because I have read all the books.  Prior to the first films release I finally read all three books and thoroughly enjoyed them, but I had the problem that I read it now with the actors from the film in mind.  I had seen enough commercials and trailers to know who was who, but it didn’t get in my way TOO much while reading.  However, once I got to Catching Fire and Mockingjay, the new characters introduced were uncharted territory.  My mind created strong depictions of Finnick, Beetee and Wiress, and Plutarch, based on actual actors this time, and not just whatever I imagined.  That being said, I saw Plutarch as more of a Michael Ironside.  If you know who that is, you know he’s played Plutarch-like roles almost all of his life.  For Hoffmann this type of role is a bit of a departure, but it’s just a little bit sad.

Who even knows if he’ll say yes though.

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