I can say that I’ve thought about some movies and I even got a bunch of suggestions from Colm today:
Drummer Boi (wrote part of it. I didn’t think I should keep writing)
The Elegant Elephant (this almost became tonight’s ghost and darkness rip off)
Tip Tow
The Hallway
The Creeping
The Unhinged
Down the Creak
Fed Up
FBEyewitness
But I’m still insanely sick, over tired, in Chicago and pissed off at the Knicks. So I’m taking this week off. The crown is yours, Pete. Wear it well.
Hey all you beautiful people. It’s a lovely Friday. What a great way to kick off another year of no one caring about what I write once a week! So let’s start Fake Movie Friday YEAR TWO! This is a quick one, writing at work.
20 Something Brunette
Movie opens with a girl behind a starbucks counter getting yelled at. She stars blankly at the customer complaining and her phone buzzes. She checks it and it is her agent. He says she got a call back for a role. She tosses her apron at the customer and runs out happy. Jump cut to her tied up in a basement screaming.
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It’s almost 10, I’m just leaving work, sitting on the train, writing FMF #52. I got a few title suggestions today, but the one I have to go with is (one of) Colm’s (sorry Lisa), who also helped me flush out some of the story. I give you:
Werner Herzog and the Time He Saved the Universe
We open on the BBC interview Werner Herzog gave in 2006, during which he was shot, but continued the interview as if nothing happened. He jokes about it in the interview, and regards the whole thing as insignificant. He lifts up his shirt to show the bullet hole and the camera goes straight into the hole, eventually stopping at the bullet, which is actually a shrunken alien drone ship. The ship starts to open up and takes hold of Herzog’s nervous system. At this point Herzog is home and a blank, drooling stare washes across his face. The drone takes control of Herzog’s mind and starts to talk to him, sounding strangely like the female voice that speaks the directions in most GPS’.
I got a bonus check today. If you’ve never been given a bonus I highly suggest you try it. It is delightful. Oh yeah, it’s week 52! Thank you everyone who has read any of these. If you’ve read all 52 and are not named Tigs or Russ then you are one of my favorite people in the world. You deserve a bonus.
Bonus Year
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The most disappointing thing about this year of Fake Movie Fridays was the lack of submissions. We got some really great ones but I always heard from people that they wanted to do one but just haven’t written it out. These brave few made the leap. If I forgot anyone, I am so sorry. ALSO keep this going and send your Fake Movie Fridays to us!
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Just a few more days to ONE YEAR! Today we will be taking a look back at the work of the Russ Stevens. He has the sweetest podcast voice out of all of us and can write a pretty dang good Fake Movie Friday
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Fake Movie Friday Week continues with a look back on the work of the debatably brilliant: John Tiglias. Many people who have read his work have called him crazy. Others haven’t read his work.
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Hi Friends! As I’m sure you heard this Friday marks the 52nd Fake Movie Friday, thus completing one year. I’m going to take a day from each week to celebrate this year. First up is Peter! You know, me. Let’s take a look. This is your chance to read through some old ones and pretend you were there the whole time.
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So I was wrong, this is only #51 so next week marks one year of Fake Movie Fridays. This title comes from Brian Fitzpatrick, a simple man if not bland gentleman. Well at least I think this is what he said. Wow, this turned out long.
Cauliflower Revisited
Movie opens on a child on a bus staring over a seat. His mother pulls him down and tells him to stop staring. He sits back as the camera pans over the seat and past a cauliflower eared man. The woman apologizes for her son and says, “Wait aren’t you William? Tom and Cindy’s kid? I was real sorry to hear.” William simply nods and turns toward the window.
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I’m going to be honest here, I can’t exactly remember the name of the fake movie title I received as a suggestion at the show last night. I think this is it, but I’m not totally sure. I’m pretty sure Kentucky was in the title. And Wedding. Thanks to improv troupe Florence for the suggestion and sorry that I got drunk and forgot it. This a 52nd consecutive FMF for both Pete and myself… 1 year strong … Congrats Pete. Here’s to 52 weeks of terrible ideas, worse movies, great titles and no proof reading!
Kentucky Time Wedding
1980’s. Jacob owns a watch shop in Horse Cave, Kentucky. It’s been in his family for generations, owned by his father before him, his fathers father before that and his fathers fathers father before that. Kentucky Time is the name of the shop. Jacob had to take over working at the shop after his father passed and supports his mother. He spends almost all of his time at the shop and hasn’t had a girlfriend in years, since his fiance, Emily, died in a horrible auto accident that also took his fathers life.